Yeah, I have control issues. if ya’ll haven’t been paying attention when I’ve told you, surely you have caught on by now. I like my personal space. {This} is MY space……………………………………………………………………………………….{that} is YOUR space. A little anti social? Perhaps. But I find I am not really alone in this need for personal space.
In the early 1960’s an american anthropologist by the name of Edward Hall did a research study on just what this space is comprised of and how they work. He came up with 4 different spaces that all of us carry to some degree.
Intimate Space: This space extends outwards from our bodies up to 18 inches in every direction and only family, pets and closest friends may enter that space. if it is violated, we get all weirded out.
Personal Space:This space extends from us outwards with a distance of 1.5 feet to 4 feet. We allow friends and acquaintances in that zone, especially in intimate conversations, but rebuff strangers.
Social space: Extends from 4 feet to about 12 feet. We tend to interact with strangers, new acquaintances .
Public space: anything beyond 12 feet and is open to all.
Those are just averages for people and his research still stands today according to leading psychologists. Some of us are a little more extreme with our need to have boundaries. Apparently they have decided that the amygdala, that region of the brain that deals with fear, is the culprit and it begins shaping our little bubble of space when we are about 3 or 4.
I think I am an extreme. My intimate space..very few are allowed to enter, and if one does enter that zone without invitation, like the asshat bundle person at work who thinks he has to lean into my face to speak to me, then I get more than a little cranky..not scared, angry..How dare you invade MY space? Lucky if you are able to walk away cause it can be so not pretty when someone does that. I’ve not really thought about why I have issues with this, prolly something from that past I’ve left in the dust, but I don’t dwell on that these days. And I have to think that majority of my ‘space” is public..because I prefer people to keep their distance. Yep, it all comes back to that pesky issue about control and personal space. Maybe I’ll outgrow it…nah, prolly not..think it’s stuck with me :/
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