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I find myself sorting things out.  A friend’s dream has me disturbed, and I’m trying to see how it relates to me.  Crazy I know, so I head to where I always go to see if I can find answers.  Off to the swamp and those who keep me on the straight and narrow.  although I can pop in and out at will these days, I take the pirogi and let myself drift through the place that has claimed my soul, appreciating its beauty even in the winter season.  It makes me smile a little to think that in the mundane I have never lived there, and yet, it still speaks my name as if we are old friends.  I arrive at the cabin and the huge black dog that is usually by the fire greets me, sniffing me as if to reassure himself that I am the same Shae that has always come.  Satisfied, he moves aside.  “Strange”, I think to myself.  “I’ve been expecting you, cher”, says Maman as she tosses some more herbs into the giant pot that always seems to be bubbling.  “I took the long way”, I tell her.  She nods.  “Did it help you feel more settled?”, she asks me.  “Some”, I say.  “maman, I need to spin something with you.  A friend dreamed, horrific dream of mangled children, blood…she was so distraught, and yet she says that Brin came to her and that I sent her”.  “Why would I send Brin?”I believe that I sent her because she would not have felt so at peace and able to sleep afterwards, but why would I send MY protection?” Maman looks at me.  “You protect those you love, even if they do not know it.  You allow yourself to be placed in the open so that they may be safe.  You need to start shutting some doors”.  “I walk with the ghede, doors are always open,”I tell her.  Maman chuckles. “You ARE ghede, doors can be closed.”.  “You have placed yourself at risk, the pulls on you are making you ill, even if you will not admit it.  You do as is requested from all of us, and sometimes we forget that as you are, you still walk among the flesh, and have limits, but you refuse to admit that to yourself”.   “I am just tired, “I tell her.  She smiles.  “Brin is yours, she always has been.  You sent her because she was available, and yet she never leaves you unprotected, she does as you ask because of her love for you, as you do for others”.  “It disturbs you because you have never felt the need to do so before.” I agree.  “I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around why I did so now”.  Maman begins,”The dream was of children, your friend loves them.  You have always loved them, the mother to all, as it was before, is now and will be again even if you jokingly say your next life plan you will direct it to not be so”, she laughs.  “The dream bled over into all aspects of her life and it frightened her so badly that she called on the only one that she knew was capable of helping her find her way out-you”.  “Because of that love, you sent the one who could calm her fears, and protect her and allow her to rest so that she can take care of those who depend on her”.  “l’amour d’un ami surmonte la peur”. I nod.  “I am so used to Brin beside me that I was shocked that I would think do such as thing”.  “You did not think Cher”, says Maman.  “You knew the fear and pain, and just did what was to be done, as you always have done, even at the expense of yourself”.  “You did not consider that you might be unprotected, even though Brin would not do that ever, but not once did you consider yourself at helping someone”.  I hear the mild rebuke, and smile a little ruefully.  “I know that sometimes ya’ll are frustrated when I do that”, I begin,”but I have always given everything to those I gather to me like kindred, even if they do not practice nor believe as I do”.  Maman  chuckles”frustration is not the word I would have chosen Cher, but yes…we do shake the head at times.  The way you live and walk this path is what makes you the witch you are.  You give everything.  It’s why even in the midst of the risks you take, those who might harm have to give respect, albeit grudgingly “.  “I’ve always felt its best to respect your enemies, for sometimes they can become your allies”, I laugh.  I sit back in the rocker and let the herbs waft over me , filling my spirit once again,with peace, energy and renewed purpose.  For what exactly, I’m not sure, even Maman cannot tell me everything.  I feel Brin hold me close and begin to sing as I drift off, I tell her “thank you Brin..for being”.  Being what you might ask..not sure of that either.  She is the protection I have always known, the unwavering peace and love.  So being is enough…for both of us I guess.

 

 

DEUCES

In just a few short days, there  will be a new year upon us.  Many will usher it in with revelry, noise, friends, alcohol, food.. fireworks.  Then what?  Sleep off the hangover, make a few resolutions about personal issues, weight, money, etc. , enjoy a day of football if one is so inclined(I will be among those).  Then the real work begins.  Most of us will go back to work and breathe a sigh of relief that we made it through another holiday season without too much drama.  I don’t make resolutions..they usually fail miserably.  But I do use this time of year to check out things and people on my path and tweak here and there and sometimes just dump whatever isn’t working.  I’ve been amused as of late at the turn things have taken personally connected to my path.  People popping up out of nowhere to ask questions, the blog appearing on other sites and searches. It makes me shake my head and wonder why..what do I have to say that people would take notice of?    Maybe it’s just that I hold no restrictions  as to what I say or how I say them.  This is my space..don’t care for it…kick rocks.   So without going the whole resolution routine and just scratching at superficial changes, I will concede that there are areas  that need tweaking.
I’ve been thinking of what I want on my path, and how I want to achieve that.  I want more peace, so will have to work on adding more meditation to help with that. MORE! I do so every morning before I go to work, which helps start the day off on a good note.  Does it help?  Well, nobody has died yet even though the days can be long and stressful, so I’d say that was a success.  So how to add more? maybe at my lunch hour, I could  just go to the car and close my eyes, listen to a little music and forget where I am and spend a few quiet moments at that special sanctuary that gives me peace.  Before sleep, I could sit and just listen to the quiet, the shadows that feel warm and comforting to me.   I want to add to my knowledge, so how do I do that? First by opening my mind, because one never knows when something will come your way and you can learn from it. Find reliable books on the subjects that intrigue me, that call to me and read up on some of those and see how I can include it into my path.  Listen to those around me that speak with authority  and dismiss those who squawk to hear their own voice.  Listen to my guides.   My guides guide me well, and its only when I disregard advice or worse go off in a half-assed manner do I get into trouble.     Culling people who add nothing to your path or add drama or negativity is also a great way to tweak. Tweak that “friends” list on Facebook.  Too much crap gets posted and while some of it is entertaining, it can also be a negative on a bad day.    The more positive we can fill ourselves with the better.  Although I have no problem with a little chaos every now and then because it tends to clear the air and helps create new beginnings.  This also works in the “real” world., because sometimes people are so toxic we just have to let them go.   Become more creative.  I’ve let this part of me slide, and that’s a shame because when I am pouring candles, crocheting or now knitting I keep a smile on my face and this is a productive outlet for me.  I love getting in among my herbs and making sachets, tinctures, and incense…The smells are heady and intoxicating and fill my spirit with a feeling  that is a better high than anything man made.  Never cut this side of us off because sometimes in the midst we often receive a nugget of wisdom because we have stilled that voice inside us that demands that we keep moving in spite of being told to “be still”.   Reach deep and pull out the spiritual side of this path.  That means acknowledging those I work with , respecting that I cannot change all injustices, but I can do my part to not add to them, however small that may be.  So now that I’ve acknowledged that there are some tweaks I can and should be doing, I have a plan of action taking place.  And in the areas mentioned, I can say that they are more intensely personal and beneficial than some mindless resolution about losing weight, or making more money.  We all can afford to do both of those but what did it change in our inner self?  Very little. I will leave those to the frivolous as they celebrate and make promises to themselves that they have probably made a thousand times over and haven’t kept once.  I choose to be more substantive and make real changes that will benefit me in the long run.  they won’t all be seen just by a cursory glance, but those who know me well will begin to see that change, but what’s more important, is that I will feel it.  And that my friend is what true change is about.

 

DEUCES

It has been brought to my attention that I can be unbelievably rude.   Really?  It’s not just  that my snark level is vibrating at a higher rate than you’re used to?  It probably has to do with my status’s on FB.  I mean I can go a little overboard, especially  when I feel that someone ‘s common sense is just there in name only or non existent.  Then I have a tendency to move in for the kill, grabbing the person right around the neck, feeling that jugular vein crush under my teeth, tasting blood as it pours forth…Oh.   Too much?  Right.  So, let me go through this again for those who are hoping to stay on the list of names on my FB page.  I am a passive/aggressive snarky witch.  I am opinionated,  I’ll admit it, and I voice them often and sometimes , people just don’t like what I say or how I say it.  So fucking what?  It’s my page, my status and if you don’t like it, hide me, ignore it, or just delete me.  I have plenty of people that play apps(am so not a good neighbor really unless you ask me for stuff cause I hate to go from place to place collecting shit)…it doesn’t bother me to lose some people.  If I don’t speak to you on a regular basis, or know you personally then I care less.  Shocked?  Get over it.  I’ve lived long enough to know that it’s my opinions that matter to me.  I try and see other’s POV, but sometimes I have to wonder how some people manage to even get dressed and out of the house in the morning.  I mean seriously how do they get their head out of their ass in order to see the world around them?  They are so busy being chicken little with all the what if’s that could happen that they are totally missing what is going on in the here and now.  I don’t have much patience for that, so I shoot from the hip and am direct as hell.  Lies and half truths are often wrapped up in the prettiness of polite verbiage.  I’m am all about truth.  Even if it’s not popular.  So..what does one do with a witch determined to have her say? Walk away…..quickly.  Nothing you say will change how I feel and if you continue to speak, I will reach out and grab you…did I mention I don’t do stupid? No?  My bad.  Let me correct that.   I don’t do stupid. EVER. I  have no patience for those who continue spout shit without putting any thought or research into fact(SOURCE!).  I have enough going on in my world to stop and hold your hand and play kissy face to make you feel better while I show you just how ignorant you sound..so get ready, whatever I have to say to you  is going to be direct, harsh and truthful. Now the fact that I sound rude to you or speak in a manner in which you do not approve, does not change who I am.  I still believe that people deserve respect, but that doesnt mean that I can allow people to come in with their condescending manner and try to pat me on the head as if to say “poor dumb witch doesn’t know any better, bless her heart”.   Fuck all that shit!  I’m willing to listen to you if you can show me a valid view point, otherwise..kick rocks.   So now on to the new year.  I’ll try to cull my list into something manageable so that the snark level is lower and you?  Well you see if somewhere in all that dross you call a life you can find some intelligence that will allow you to stay out of the storms that seem to blow from this direction. If you can’t, well all I can say is welcome to Oz!

 

DEUCES

So today we’ve been talking about rules.  Well some people were, some of us were just laughing at the thought that there could actually be rules that exist.  In truth, unless one is involved within a setting of a group, then for the most of us, we make our own rules.  Coloring outside the box as extreme as society will let us without locking our collective asses up somewhere whether that be jail or the asylum.    There are those who proclaim loudly about following set rules such as “the wiccan rede”, which is lovely if one remembers that it is fictional poetry, or maybe the “law of 3” which is made up drivel to put it nicely. Some insist that there are set rules as if we are a cookie cutter type of pagan.  NO thanks, I’ll leave that to the secular worlds with their doctrine and dogma.  So do I follow rules?  sure..everyone does to a certain degree.  I have a personal set of ethics for myself, which are ones that I have cultivated and tweaked over the years.  Some of them are as follows:

I refuse to be a doormat.  Not for family, friends or people in general.  I have value, knowledge that has been learned, sometimes the hard way, and I refuse to let others usurp that place I have made for myself.

My path is just that…MINE.  I refuse to divulge everything about it to those who will either judge it or try to dissect it to see how it works. That is the beauty of being a solitary practitioner.  I work from guidelines of those past who taught me certain things and add in other things that relate to it very well.

I don’t usually give out spellwork.  First because unless I know you well, I will not truly know how much you understand about the ramifications of working.  So don’t ask.  I will bend this rule sometimes, but it has to be worth it.

Some work with the premise “harm none”…Strange concept to me since everything we do affects something else.  My only line in the sand if you will is “leave them breathing” when I work.  Fuck with me and mine..even that is open for debate.  ~shrugs~  just how I am.

Family is important to me..even those who want to act out, and play victim as if I had fuck all to do with how shit goes in their lives…I f I were that vindictive,breathing would be one of the gifts they’d be begging me for.

So does this mean that nobody is the same? Well give that man a cookie! We all have different experiences, different perspectives so even if we follow the same path, we will look at some things differently.  So how can one set of rules apply to everyone especially if one is expected to do so according to the letter of the law.  No leeway to express yourself or opinions.  Kind of makes us all stepford pagans huh?  That kind of spirituality is not for me.  It’s why I no long follow a more socially  accepted path.  I made no spiritual connection sitting on a pew listening to someone tell how I was to live my life in absolutes, black/white, and not question they whys of that.  I eventually got to the point that he universe just smacked me and yelled “SNAP OUT OF IT!” I blinked, looked around and carved out a new direction for me, living life with my rules.  So for those who wander around tossing out they whys and wherefores of all that is supposed to encompass a pagan path, if you expect this witch to do so….don’t hold your breath.

 

~DEUCES~

 

 

 

There’s nothing like people’s rush to judgement is there?  I mean from people who have no clue as to who you are, where you come from or how you practice.  Such is the case when someone shared a friend’s blog about an encounter with someone who was severely lacking both in her path, her knowledge and especially her language skills.  I had no problem with the sharing of what I said..because although it was a little snarky(who knew right?), it wasn’t anything that I don’t ask people on a regular basis.  What I did mind is the sharing by others who had people commenting on things they knew nothing about, and making calls of judgement on people they don’t know.  The blog was meant to be humorous since it wasn’t the whole of the conversation, just the silly stuff in the beginning.    I belong to a rare group of pagans..one who expects source when you speak unless you state that its your own opinion, and we don’t hand hold a lot to those fluff who come in and whine expecting others to do things for them.  Such was the case the other night when one came in who had googled(yeah,,,I said google ffs) a 7 day working to break up someone else’s relationship.  She seemed so young with her text/slang in writing on the board, that she was asked her age…33.  A grown ass woman seeking to bring in elements of the universe to fuck with someone else’s peace ? This witch is so not on board.  My personal ethics say I don’t cross certain lines.  I don’t play games like a teenager and seek to insert myself into other’s relationship because “I would so be a better girlfriend for them”  that is total bullshit.  So that was my first problem.  The second problem I had(yeah ok, so I had several–so whatthefuckever), was that the woman in question had no clue as to how to work her 7 day offering.  Does she extinguish it on the 7th day or can she do this hit or miss..light one day, skip a few then light it again when its more convenient…OMFG!!! If one does not know what you are doing, then leave shit the hell alone!  It’s craziness really in what people try. If you cannot give a working its allotted time, then its best to use something simpler or better yet select another time, but above all…be damn sure of what you’re asking for because sometimes you just get it and then some.  People can find anything they are looking for online I guess, or go to unethical people willing to give them what they want, but if they don’t have any clue as to what they are really doing , why take a chance on getting something you didn’t ask for?  Opening doors allows many things to walk through…some can be humorous, and others can be down right scary, but all have to be dealt with .  If one is not prepared to do so, then what?  Run here and there hoping to find someone who will take pity on you and say “poor baby, let me help you”..Fuck that!  You did it, deal with it.  There was a time back in the day when I was a doormat for those type of people, offering “help”..no longer.  I refuse to call that shit to me because its not mine and I have enough to contend with when I work.  Those who know me know that I have definite opinions when it comes to workings…a knowledge of what you are doing and why.  I’m more than a little OCD when it comes to my own…because to manipulate energies by inserting my own into a situation had better be worth the time and effort .  But that’s just me.  I prefer to handle things on a more mundane level only using my craft when it’s required , and only in situations that are more worthy than trying to fuck with other people…unless they asked for it specifically by giving me grief.  But that is my own personal ethics..Not everyone does that ~shrugs~.  Maybe she won’t fall on her face too hard or call shit that she can’t wash off ..or not..not my problem…DEUCES BITCH

Oh the snarking  level is frightful

but the humor is so delightful

when one comes ignorant as hell

ring a bell, ring a bell, ring a bell

 

 

Ghetto wiccans are tweaking

googled what they were seeking they are seeking

but they have no place to troll

so they roll, so they roll, so they roll

 

They’re the guardians of the hood

knowing nothing as they should

Deuces tossed as they walk

Every day  long  is  a lark.

 

 

Umm..yeah, had this little ditty rolling through my head at the ignorance displayed by ghetto fabulous

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a busy time of year for many of us.  I’ve been on a whirlwind of shopping for gifts, making sure that I find just the right one for each person, gathering up of the ingredients for the cacophony  of Epicurean treats we are  going to devour in the next few days.  I chose to remember the one who taught me to cook and shared her love of all that is nature’s bounty, my great grandmother, Linnie, who always made me feel welcome in her home whenever we got the chance to come home from whatever base my dad was stationed at.  Her coconut cake was one of my absolute favorites, and while to me, mine  just doesn’t taste the same as hers, it comes damn close.  The smells of the house are amazing, mulberry from the candles, flowers that make me smile as I see them in passing because fresh flowers were something that both my Gran and my mother both appreciated.  I am not sure that my family knows the importance of what the recipes mean to me, but its my connection to the past…that sense of belonging if only for a little while.  Family has always been important to me, I guess because we moved so often and we were our own piece of the life we had left back here in the south, no matter how dysfunctional it could be sometimes.  Now all those closest to me have moved on to another plane, no longer here in a physical presence to remind me of where I came from or who I am, so I choose to remember them in the telling of stories of their lives, make the foods that once graced their tables.  That keeps me connected in the busy daily grind of life.  When things became too difficult for me, my Gran would always tell me to “stand tall”..she mean for me to hold my ground because “this too shall pass”…I hear this ring in my ears still when I am more than a little off-centered.  It’s good advice even now that I am no longer the frightened child who had no idea who she was or where she was headed…I hope that some day when my little people look back on their time with me they too can smile and remember it with smiles and laughter and love…cause that is what its all about.

RING!!!  WTF!!!!! “Do you KNOW how close you are to being fed to the dragon I ask?”  “My apologies,” he says”I was just checking to make sue there were no adverse effects from our adventure of the other night””So you come when I am more tired and dead on my feet than the ghede, a sinus headache from hell and rains that cause my bones to ache worse than being on de Saud’s rack to ask if I enjoyed a damn party?” At the tone in my voice, Brin sits watching as if she is willing to accept said morsel and remove it from sight.  “I meant no harm”, he begins.  “So what was the purpose”, I ask although I already know.  “I was invited, always am, just never go.  This year I was instructed to bring a “guest”, and thought it would liven things up to do so.”  “Well I guess it did, since those are potent drinks and I let down my guard”.  “So tell me, what would you have done had the goblin decided to make me repay him for all those spiked drinks?”.  “I…he wouldn’t have”.  Really.  I look at him directly..”It’s been my experience that the male species is pretty much alike in that regards…””I brought you home,” he said defensively.”We’re friends, and I wouldn’t have let you get hurt”.  At this, I laugh.  “I’m afraid you have that twisted, elf”, I tell him.  “my definition of friend is different than a lot of people’s”.  “Tell me”, he says.  I look at him closely, his eyes burning intently into mine.  Fine.  “A friend in my world is a compassionate person who loves and trusts the people in their circle.  They choose to have their back no matter what, to offer support even if one has built a wall and wants to toss it back…It’s not a personal thing, sometimes their pain is too much and one doesn’t want to inflict that on others.  A friend is willing to be there to listen even if there are no answers..sometimes we don’t have any, but do have a shoulder for one to use when the world gets too much.  Friends give willingly without expecting remuneration, whether than is physical, spiritual..It’s not a tit for tat kind of relationship.  If we receive something from that relationship we’ve forged, then it’s counted as a bonus.  Shared knowledge and experiences are also a plus.”  SILENCE……am extended one.  “I have never seen nor felt such a relationship”, he says.  “I might be a bit jealous if you have such in your life”, he laughs ruefully.  I chuckle as well.  “Prepare to be jealous because I do have some of those people in my life”, I tell him.  “I am blessed with that because even if I don’t say so all the time, just knowing that they exist and I could avail myself of their shoulders when the world spins sideways, they are what keeps me holding on to get it back in a centered form.””Now that I’ve explained that to you, George will see you out”, I say.  At the mention of his name, George appears out of the corner almost filling the room.  He seems a little sheepish(yeah I know odd for a spider) as  if to say he’s sorry at the interruption as well(like I’d ever hear that from him).  “Good night” says the elf,”and thank you for being kind”.  He and George depart.  I sigh and lean back on the pillows.  “Lock the door Brin”, I tell her.  She does and begins to sing me back to sleep, to rest this time without dreams, distractions or pain…mmmm, blissful sleep

In the time before time, in the age that was

the guardians of ancient wisdom flew above the earth.

In the mists on mountain top, in the waves of deepest sea

keepers of wisdom that is or ever will be.

From the womb of center earth to the stillness of space

they kept the treasure within, without time or place.

The keepers danced the timeless dance of  peace

of love, of knowledge gained, of accomplishment

life and all its cares, its joys, its shadow and light.They kept within all

the secrets to be released as needed by those who walk a lower plane

but once those doors were opened, nothing seemed the same.

Some say the guardians did not exist, never graced this realm

some claim to be a direct link of that knowledge, that wisdom carried

and yet we still meander through this life carrying stones we’ve made

we’ve learned little from those who shared, who gave with pure intent

the dance is no longer, the guardians are silent

what we do with the wisdom is now on our heads

and those who danced watch with baited breath

will we or won’t we use it wisely as they decreed

or will it lie dormant as if covered by the seas

only time will tell.

 

I have been reading of plenty celebrating a dumb Yule feast , a celebration of ancestors from Ms Graveyard dirt, who has challenged us all to join her in her Sviata Vechera.  While I know that my mother’s family came from Ireland(my great-grandfather worked his way across to the U.S. on a ship, and made his way down south), and Romania, my dad’s also Irish and NA(great grandmother was born in Pinson Mounds, Tn on Cherokee Rez),  I am more familiar with how my Gran cooked as I was growing up.  So in honor of those that came before and taught me what I know..I too, will light candles in their honor and prepare the things I learned at her hand.  I will prepare my Gran’s cranberry bread, which is almost an orgasmic experience.  I could eat the whole loaf by myself.  I will make the cornbread dressing that tastes like it came out of her oven, the cajun smoked turkey that falls off the bone(yeah might save a few of those for later)…and OMDayum at her pineapple pies and coconut cakes. I am getting all tingly at just the thought of preparing that sumptuous feast, and even more so at being able to toast to those who passed on that knowledge of putting it all on the table.  Down here in the south, its about family and given an excuse to come together for some laughs, good food and hang out, we’ll take it.  We  will laugh at old stories, talk about those no longer with us and the things they taught us all. All as it should be.  Sounds like a damn good night of fun and I am so looking forward to it.

 

PEACE OUT