Life yet again

Sometimes there are days when it feels like life is not all it’s cracked up to be.  The drudgery of work, bills, family(yeah especially family) hammers at us, and our psyche takes a hit.  It causes us to try and hold back tears, the harsh words that are so easily formed when the ignorant cross our path.  It’s not their fault they are in the wrong place at the right time, but they sure as hell will bear the brunt of our frustrations.  It’s been that kind of week for me.  I know Mercury went into retrograde..that isn’t my issue..really..well maybe a little, but that I will only apply to the mechanical failure of my machine this week..not how I feel at the moment..the emotionally spent, tired as hell feeling that has me wanting to crawl into bed at an obscenely early hour  and shut out the world.  And then just when we feel like we can’t handle anymore..there on the corner is a sliver of innocence that shines out at us.  In my case, that would be the princess who lives here…my rotten baby as I call her..and she is terribly spoiled..but her sweet ways are endearing.  I chuckle at the fact that she carries a pink blanket that has green frogs on it EVERYWHERE.  She calls it her “blankyfrog”..and it even has a gender..she always calls it “him” when she has misplaced it.  There is also Lenny her lemur friend…stuffed animal that sleeps with her and dances with her…”Cmon Lenny..follow my moves” she instructs him.  Making me wish I had video camera to document this moment in time for times such as now when I am feeling the pull of being less than charitable .

It’s not just me either who feels like this…I know of others who have had problems in the past month just dealing with life.  Deaths, family issues, job carp…It’s life in general.  Thank the Gods for the innocents who touch our lives with their unencumbered joie d’vivre.  Without them, I’m not sure I would want to come out of the shadows or greet the sun each day..and today would be one of those days..I’m just tired really…it’s been a week of people being ugly to one another, of pretending friendship and then hearing their shit they say behind your back when they think you don’t know…seriously, with the way FaceBook is lately, a lot of shit is coming across feeds that people think is hidden, and yet..it’s not.  Funny how the universe works huh?  I guess my frustration and emotional upheaval is the disappointment I get in my fellow human beings. I expect them to be better, and am disappointed when I find they aren’t.  Sad really, because deep inside, I know they can be.  I get frustrated by the little cliques too that gang together and are “so much more knowledgeable” because they’ve either known each other longer, belong to the same church, club together, believe alike..endless list here…I don’t know where this is headed really as I sit here feeling emotionally empty, in the doldrums…but I do know that as I hang with Brae tonight, I will once more give thanks to the powers that be that I have her as a gift that gives my life a small glimmer of light.