How long is long enough?

I was reading an article about Jane Fonda and her fallout with QVC over her previous escapades in the Viet Nam war.  Seems people been complaining that they should have nothing to do with her because she went to Viet Nam in 1972, and how she propagandized the POWs, helping the Vietnamese in their claims of “nobody gets hurt” Her excuse is that both sides used the POWs, and while I am sure that is true, there are some things just not done…Rumors and tales get passed on as fact and the whole thing gets a life of its own.  My sister and I have been discussing it as well.  She taking my dads point of view because he served and when he spoke of things, she listened.  I of course heard a few things growing up somewhat, but mostly saw the aftereffects of what the war itself did to him, the change in behaviors, the alcohol abuse as well as domestic violence in our home.  That war messed people up pretty good, but then I don’t know anyone who comes out of such tragedies unscathed.  So the article goes on to say that Fonda is being vilified  because of her actions during said conflict.  She has” apologized ” several times, 1988 and 2005 in fact.  but states that she would not change anything, so one has to wonder at the sincerity of said apologies. It has been stated many times that she cause prisoners to be harmed or one even killed.  snopes says that isn’t so.  Even Mike McGrath, president of the NAM-POWS says it isn’t true.  But because this was such an unpopular war, the very first where it appeared on TV for all of the country to watch it play out, it is full of vitriol, and rhetoric.  Do I think she was wrong to go?  Hell to the yeah! She was an American citizen and even if one doesn’t agree with the politics involved ..one NEVER places it on the shoulders of those doing their jobs.  My dad, rest his soul, went to Germany when the Berlin wall was put up,  did 2 tours in Nam and then on to Korea, not to mention a year of funeral detail for all those that didn’t make it back from Nam.  I could have lost him so many times and am reminded of that frequently when I hear of another fallen soldier in Afghanistan or Iraq.  So…what do I feel about her issue with QVC?  I think its their business who they do business with, but to kick her because of something that played out 40 yrs ago seems to be a long time to hold a grudge.  I mean would you really want someone to do that to you?  For anything?  Don’t get me wrong..I am not a fan of hers..never have been, loved her brother and dad and their work.  But I think to harass someone or keep them from working because they had the right to voice their opinion smacks a little of hypocrisy don’t you think?  All these yelling and ranting are, imho, no better than those who spew hate at a veterans funeral…When do we give people a break ?  How long do we hold their feet to the fire and make them say what we want to hear?  We can’t change the history, we can however learn from it.  Because if we don’t we are doomed to repeat it..or so I’ve been told.  I’m not taking sides here really,..more like playing Devils’ Advocate… I just want to know how long its appropriate to hold a grudge.  I know from experience that the longer one carries around the stones around your neck, you are liable to drown because you can’t catch your breath.  It colors everything you do, every reaction to situations and if you don’t let it all go, put down the stones you carry, you are existing rather than living.  And who wants to go through life like that?