Grinchy holidays

There was a time when I loved holidays.  The gathering of family, friends with no other place to go made Thanksgiving a day filled with too much food, tons of laughter, plenty to drink, football, games played. A day enjoyed by all in true southern style.  Christmas…the lights, candies, cookies, gifts to neighbors, friends, special things bought for family to see that smile of amazement come across their face.  That was a perfect day for me.
When did it change? I guess when the dynamics of family changed.  I lost my brother, then both parents.  Children moved off, their children scattered so that I don’t get to see them like I used to. It saddens me. Leaves me with feeling of depression, being unappreciated and just an all around scrooge.

But I’ve been paying attention to others as they too have their come apart about holidays and family, and have decided to suck it up, and make this season one about loving those that are around me. Watching the look on the face of a special child as she unwraps gifts she has specifically asked for. I don’t want my attitude about things to diminish another’s happiness in the day.  It’s unfair of me, and hurts people unnecessarily.  Even if I have to step back and just observe others from the periphery to preserve that for them, then I will do so.  It’s the least I can for others.

Now where did I put that rum?