kicking my ass….

Damn what a day!  It’s been a long ass week in hell and still not over, and everything that can make that job stressful happened pretty much.  On top of that it snows..like here in Mississippi we need or want that shit or the cold weather that came with it.  The kids will appreciate the time off, as Im sure with the icy bridges, for safety’s sake they will be out.  One would think that I would just relax and chill. I would do that if I didnt feel so off kilter.  I feel like Im walking by myself out in the middle of nowhere lately.  For what purpose I have no idea.  Drinking with the Baron tells me that there will be major doings soon…will he wait til I’m not quite so tired?  Not damn likely.  I feel like running to be consoled by Maman, who will welcome me as always, but I’m not a damn child so keep telling myself to suck it up and get on with it!  Ok, maybe I need to just take a day to myself and see where this is all headed.  But then that might be as relevant as asking which alcohol will get me drunker fastest.  Moot question if that is my intent, not to mention about as productive,lol.  I’ve learned that questioning just makes me crazy, and I probably am just tired and stressed from other commitments that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and alone right now.   Yeah..I admitted it.  alone. I don’t usually mind it but today I do. Funny how pictures that reflect that flit through one’s mind huh?  Barren, dry, desert …Right in the middle of the dunes.  Why would I not find myself in familiar places that are also solitary in nature, such as the wheat field or swamp? Maybe because even in that solitude, I am not alone nor feel isolated.  Everyone has been running in different directions so there is a disconnect, especially on my end.  So while I’m not a child, I seek closeness from those who understand me best.  Here’s looking at a brighter tomorrow and no bloodshed for those around me while I sort myself out.  à votre santé!

DEUCES