Renewal comes in strange ways

So yesterday was a rough day for me.  Other members of the tribe had things going on causing them stress and because we are closely affiliated, I get reverb which in turn kind of causes me to have my own meltdown of sorts.  I try to keep it quiet as I can so as not to knock all of us off the web, but even I am not immune to whining.  So eventually, I kind of pull it together, hang for a bit with other wyrd witches , and when I finally pull the plug, I am ready to sleep.  Yeah, I should have known that sleeping is the last thing I will be allowed to do.  I am soon aware that I am lying in a glade somewhere..not my usual haunt where Brin and I spend time, but a different spot.I am trying to find a comfortable spot, trying to fluff the pillow under my head, and when it moves, I realize that it is no pillow.  I sit up and look around, and there is George!  Now what am I doing lying in a strange glade using a snarky spider as a pillow, I think to myself.  “You needed the rest, cher”, George tells me. I nod and lie back down, looking up at the stars.  Odd, I think…I don’t ever seem to see him except in the dark.  George chuckles..”people would not be receptive to seeing me otherwise,Cher” he says.  I have to agree with that.  He continues speaking as I continue to check out the diamond studded sky.  “you’ve been sick this week, and let down you shields. It cost you today.”, “You mean it wasn’t a good time for me to spiral out?” I ask.  “That snark won’t work on me”, he tells me a little testily. “You know damn well that it costs you time because you have to regroup before moving on”.  “George”, I say gently,”sometimes in the aftermath of that spiral, I find nuggets of information about myself that I might have overlooked.  Yes, the meltdown is intensely painful.  I try to only harm myself. But I made it through, and while am still saddened over some issues, I will live to fight another day”.  George sighs.  “I brought you here to recharge.  Lie back and let the earth do its magic”.  I chuckle at the thought of this giant being telling me how to heal myself for I’ve always found a way to do so long before I met him, and yet I do as he asks, and lie back. I feel the short hairs on his back against my neck and appreciate that for all his own snarkiness, he has gone out of his way to be worried for and about me.  “George”, I say softly. “Thank you for reaching out to me.  For caring when I felt like nobody else did”.  “Most welcome, Cher. I owe you anyways”.  What does he owe me for, I wonder, then smile because a certain elf come to mind as he is the one who brought him to my door.  I had forgotten that..whoops, there goes a shot to the ego for said elf, I chuckle.  George laughs.  “I won’t tell him you don’t remember his name” he says.  “Oh I remember it “,I tell him, “but seems as if when I say it he appears like some other mythological being from a fairy tale,  so I choose to NOT say it”.  We both laugh, then quietly lie there and then I begin to feel it…..vibration.  It’s coming from the earth we lay on.  Soon I can hear it as well, it starts small, but soon I can tell the difference between a hum and the drum beat, moving in, around, through me.  It’s a rhythm older than time, one that I know from somewhere deep in my spirit.  It seems to fill me, toughing the innermost parts of my being.  Removing shadows, casting light into the corners. This space is healing my very soul.  I turn my head to look at George’s face, who looks at me, and reaches out to stroke my hair.  “Let it continue to move, Cher.  You hold too much inside you and you need to let some things go.”.  I nod, then I close my eyes, and allow the song of the earth fill me.  I smell the damp clay that has been with me since I learned to walk this path.  It is Ghede.  One foot on either side, I am able to see, hear, speak, smell, and yet am not afraid.  Maybe I don’t have the sense to be..maybe I learned a long time ago that respect from both sides is what was always needed.  Whatever it is, it has brought me into contact with those I needed to speak with.  I feel the drums begin to beat, my pulse seeming to move in time with the rhythm.  this too has been with me although for the life of me I cannot tell you why.  It is what it is I guess.  I’ve long ago decided not to question why some things are as they are and to move on using it as a tool for help.  the drums work as I work, so they are an integral part of me. Their song can calm me, inspire me, lift me when I need them to.  I smile and just lay there thinking about how blessed I really am at being able to find sanctuary when I thought the whole day had dissolved into madness.”I will go see Maman later this week”, I tell George.  He nods.  “I thought as much”, he tells me.  “There are some recipes I need and a conversation long past due”.  He laughs.  “She will help you as she always does”, he tells me needlessly.  This too I know for she has always been.  She is as much a part of me as anything else I carry in my path.  Providing needed information, sanctuary, respite from my inner demons.  I am lying on the ground, melding into the clay beneath me.  a part of the earth and yet not.  Part of the rhythm of sound that fills the void of spirit, and yet separate.  Some would probably think I slipped over the precipice down into the dark abysss, but I am comfortable where I am…and who I am with.   Yeah George has provided a renewal of sorts to me.  He didn’t have to do that, and if I try to offer any more than the thanks I have already give I will offend him.  Of this I am sure, since this is NOT his usual way of dealing with me.   I awakened this morning with slight headache which is usually the norm when I am elsewhere traveling in dream state.  But I also am more relaxed than I have been this week.  So at the risk of getting smacked later….Thanks again George.

DEUCES