Roots

I’ve been in among the group pages today, reading some, laughing some..shaking my head at other comments.  One subject posted, was “At what age should one include children into rituals”? Personally since this is one’s spiritual path, why would you not include them as they come into the world?  I’ve heard all the arguments both for and against at not wanting to prejudice your child against any other faith, but here is my thinking.  In secular faiths, that child is inundated with aspects  of that faith from birth.  Catholics have christenings, Jews have formal naming ceremonies as well as a bris for the boys(  girls are welcomed into the Jewish community  in synagogue as her father reads from the Torah).  Even in other faiths, children are welcomed into the faith from birth, taught the tenets of their particular beliefs. Going to church immediately to be welcomed with love and joy.  So why do I hear so much from  pagan people  who are acting as if they cannot do this with their own children?  Is it because they feel that because it isn’t a widely accepted path that they don’t want to make their child feel as an outsider when they are in social settings?  Life is difficult enough for kids without adding the stigma of being “different” I’ll admit, but seriously.  They grow up knowing what you believe if you are truly walking a pagan path.  It will be in literature, books around your home,  tools you may own or use. You will speak openly with others about it, and you will practice some element of it every day.  If you don’t do ANY of those very basic things I just mentioned…you are a fraud(imho).  Your path is a representation of who you are.  It comes from your very core and is what feeds the spirit.  If that is not why you walk a path..then you need to check the mirror.  We all should be honest with ourselves about why we walk the path at all.  So I have trouble wrapping my head around as to why one would not want to teach your child your faith instead of keeping it wrapped in secrecy as if you are ashamed of it.  I understand if you are going to a circle/ritual elsewhere with others who may not practice exactly as you do.  But it’s been my experience that most groups always have special things planned for children that will not take away from the adults in their working.  So how does one know when to include a child in those circumstances?  I think it comes down to the child, how much you have taught then, how mature they are and what they understand, as well as to how the ritual is going to be conducted.  I believe that children should be excluded from skyclad gatherings, as well as rituals that will offer blood offerings.  For me it’s personal thing. .. children don’t usually understand the nuances there and it could be frightening as well.  But for any other than that, I don’t see the need to exclude them from group gatherings. Circling would be different for me(but then I am picky as to whom I join that energy with), and some groups also choose to not allow children, and that is their choice.
The reason I prefer children to be involved from the beginning is it gives them roots.  They know who they are, where they come from. All children need to know this.  Even if they do not follow the path/faith of their family(and there are many of us who do this), they at least will have some understanding of the family dynamics.  So when people start talking about how they don’t want to “influence” their kids, I want to smack them…because everything we do influences them.  We are the examples.  We show them how to treat people, how to make intelligent decisions(and if you don’t..shame on you and get to work on that!).  We need to stop with the rhetoric of “not influencing” our children’s beliefs because if you don’t someone else will(and you will have noone to blame for that mess but yourself).  It’s not wrong to want our children to make their own choices, because we encourage them in independent thinking.  That independent thinking  is why many of us walk as we do.  What we need to do is provide a little ground work with education and provide some insight as to why we walk as we do so they will be able to make a balanced decision.  Hiding what we do, what we believe makes them feels as if there is some great secret that should be kept or that it’s wrong.  That isn’t the message we need to give to them.  So however you believe, however you practice, My advice is to keep your children involved, and informed.  They might surprise you at how much they already know.