writing out the storm

Damn but I am cold today.  That inner bone-chilling never can get warm kind of cold that I only seem to get when I am connected to Ghede.  I tell myself, while  trying to rationalize it on a mundane level… well it’s bitterly cold outside what with mother nature changing her mind every few days about what temperature she should be using.  At first its been spring temps and rains/storms, and now it truly is winter temps with the usual frozen precipitation I loathe.  But my feeling cold..this is more than that because I am inside, haven’t even poked my nose out to see the day…hell I haven’t even made it past my room to go find coffee.  Instead I am curled up, wearing my robe and warm socks still in my pajamas and trying to sort things out in my head.  Last night I worked for a friend who needs healing.  Intense doesn’t even come close to describing that energy.  I called in a favor, chose the correspondence well, and began.  The storm of energy flowing in one direction from myself and others…well, let’s just say it could have covered all of NM, and yet was aimed for one brother who needs us.   My emotions concerning this friend have me a little off kilter.  How does one come to “know” someone for a short time online and feel like kindred? To grieve over the pain they are experiencing and wanting so badly to fix or change things?  It always amazes me that things like that happen.  I guess because he kind of reminds me of my brother that has passed..living life on his own terms, being who the universe demanded he become..I’m not sure..what I do know is that he reached out for help and I could not, would not turn him down.  So now that I’ve done what I can for him ..what else do I do?  Keep working, is what my heart tells me.  Sometimes that is easier said than done since the one working has to learn to recognize their limitations.  While we may want to jump right in, our physical limitations on this plane often supersede the will on the astral.  That is what frustrates me sometimes.  It makes me want to rail and rant and curse the physical frailties that I consider to be faults in myself because I cannot do as I choose when it comes to those I care about.  I get told about half dozen times a day by various people and entities that I have to accept those limits or I will be of no use to anyone least of all myself…Yeah, frustration is NOT the word for this.  So what do I do today?  I’ve finally taken a short break and gotten coffee.  That is a good start. I made it with maman’s special recipe with the chikory, cinnamon and chocolate…minus the rum though since I am out.  I am reminded that, THAT has to remedied, for if I am to dance with ghede, the rum has to flow.  Couldn’t agree more,lol.  I’ve turned on some Amos Lee, letting his jazzy, blues wash over me.  Come back to read over what I already have written down, tweaked a word or two.  I’m calmer, warmer, and willing to let go of what I worked on before. I know one cannot hang on to things even when we want to worry over it like a mother hen making sure it goes where its supposed to, do what its supposed to do…get the results we want, no…DEMAND it to do.  I’m human before being a witch so sometimes old habits are hard to break ~shrugs~. So I am now settled, moreso than I have been this whole week..the storm is moving on.   Like most storms, either in the mundane or energy wise, they howl and swirl around us, then eventually subside, leaving a calm to be appreciated.  Time to greet the day properly I guess 😉

DEUCES