Amethyst's Offerings

RING!!!  WTF!!!!! “Do you KNOW how close you are to being fed to the dragon I ask?”  “My apologies,” he says”I was just checking to make sue there were no adverse effects from our adventure of the other night””So you come when I am more tired and dead on my feet than the ghede, a sinus headache from hell and rains that cause my bones to ache worse than being on de Saud’s rack to ask if I enjoyed a damn party?” At the tone in my voice, Brin sits watching as if she is willing to accept said morsel and remove it from sight.  “I meant no harm”, he begins.  “So what was the purpose”, I ask although I already know.  “I was invited, always am, just never go.  This year I was instructed to bring a “guest”, and thought it would liven things up to do so.”  “Well I guess it did, since those are potent drinks and I let down my guard”.  “So tell me, what would you have done had the goblin decided to make me repay him for all those spiked drinks?”.  “I…he wouldn’t have”.  Really.  I look at him directly..”It’s been my experience that the male species is pretty much alike in that regards…””I brought you home,” he said defensively.”We’re friends, and I wouldn’t have let you get hurt”.  At this, I laugh.  “I’m afraid you have that twisted, elf”, I tell him.  “my definition of friend is different than a lot of people’s”.  “Tell me”, he says.  I look at him closely, his eyes burning intently into mine.  Fine.  “A friend in my world is a compassionate person who loves and trusts the people in their circle.  They choose to have their back no matter what, to offer support even if one has built a wall and wants to toss it back…It’s not a personal thing, sometimes their pain is too much and one doesn’t want to inflict that on others.  A friend is willing to be there to listen even if there are no answers..sometimes we don’t have any, but do have a shoulder for one to use when the world gets too much.  Friends give willingly without expecting remuneration, whether than is physical, spiritual..It’s not a tit for tat kind of relationship.  If we receive something from that relationship we’ve forged, then it’s counted as a bonus.  Shared knowledge and experiences are also a plus.”  SILENCE……am extended one.  “I have never seen nor felt such a relationship”, he says.  “I might be a bit jealous if you have such in your life”, he laughs ruefully.  I chuckle as well.  “Prepare to be jealous because I do have some of those people in my life”, I tell him.  “I am blessed with that because even if I don’t say so all the time, just knowing that they exist and I could avail myself of their shoulders when the world spins sideways, they are what keeps me holding on to get it back in a centered form.””Now that I’ve explained that to you, George will see you out”, I say.  At the mention of his name, George appears out of the corner almost filling the room.  He seems a little sheepish(yeah I know odd for a spider) as  if to say he’s sorry at the interruption as well(like I’d ever hear that from him).  “Good night” says the elf,”and thank you for being kind”.  He and George depart.  I sigh and lean back on the pillows.  “Lock the door Brin”, I tell her.  She does and begins to sing me back to sleep, to rest this time without dreams, distractions or pain…mmmm, blissful sleep

In the time before time, in the age that was

the guardians of ancient wisdom flew above the earth.

In the mists on mountain top, in the waves of deepest sea

keepers of wisdom that is or ever will be.

From the womb of center earth to the stillness of space

they kept the treasure within, without time or place.

The keepers danced the timeless dance of  peace

of love, of knowledge gained, of accomplishment

life and all its cares, its joys, its shadow and light.They kept within all

the secrets to be released as needed by those who walk a lower plane

but once those doors were opened, nothing seemed the same.

Some say the guardians did not exist, never graced this realm

some claim to be a direct link of that knowledge, that wisdom carried

and yet we still meander through this life carrying stones we’ve made

we’ve learned little from those who shared, who gave with pure intent

the dance is no longer, the guardians are silent

what we do with the wisdom is now on our heads

and those who danced watch with baited breath

will we or won’t we use it wisely as they decreed

or will it lie dormant as if covered by the seas

only time will tell.

 

I have been reading of plenty celebrating a dumb Yule feast , a celebration of ancestors from Ms Graveyard dirt, who has challenged us all to join her in her Sviata Vechera.  While I know that my mother’s family came from Ireland(my great-grandfather worked his way across to the U.S. on a ship, and made his way down south), and Romania, my dad’s also Irish and NA(great grandmother was born in Pinson Mounds, Tn on Cherokee Rez),  I am more familiar with how my Gran cooked as I was growing up.  So in honor of those that came before and taught me what I know..I too, will light candles in their honor and prepare the things I learned at her hand.  I will prepare my Gran’s cranberry bread, which is almost an orgasmic experience.  I could eat the whole loaf by myself.  I will make the cornbread dressing that tastes like it came out of her oven, the cajun smoked turkey that falls off the bone(yeah might save a few of those for later)…and OMDayum at her pineapple pies and coconut cakes. I am getting all tingly at just the thought of preparing that sumptuous feast, and even more so at being able to toast to those who passed on that knowledge of putting it all on the table.  Down here in the south, its about family and given an excuse to come together for some laughs, good food and hang out, we’ll take it.  We  will laugh at old stories, talk about those no longer with us and the things they taught us all. All as it should be.  Sounds like a damn good night of fun and I am so looking forward to it.

 

PEACE OUT

I shift in the rocker.  Inhaling deeply I feel my body begin to relax.  The familiar herbal smells, the warmth of the fire makes me smile in contentment.  “You’ve been running too hard Cher”, says Maman.  I agree without even opening my eyes. “I have been running…. running with interesting people”, I cock one eye at her.  She laughs.  “Cher, I think there are lessons for all to be learned there”.  Agreed, I lay my head back in the chair.  I sigh, breathe in the stillness that always fills my soul  with peace.  “I don’t know what I would do without this place”, I tell her.  “You goin’ somewhere petit”? I shake my head no.  “So why the sense of loss”, she asks?  “I’m not sure,” I tell her.  “This is for me more real than any place in the mundane world for me…secure and a place of refuge.”.  “You made it such”, she tells me.  “This”, she waves her hand around,”could be anywhere.  I could be anywhere, for I am here to help you on the path, and you chose a place that feels like home for you”.  “I have not lived in the swamp”, I tell her.  “Have you not?” she arches her eyebrows at me with a small smile on her face.  I laugh.  “Ok, it’s possible that I MIGHT have in previous time”, I concede.  “Cher,” she tells me, “we all choose sanctuary..someplace that is familiar even if we don’t understand the why of it.”Nous cherchons la paix de l’intérieur“.  I smile slightly.  Seeking peace from within is something I have had to work damn hard at.  And not always successfully either.  I scrunch deeper into the chair, noticing that for a hardwood rocker it seems to accommodate me when I need to be soothed as it rocks on the rush covered floor.  Maman comes behind me and I feel her fingers caress my hair and soothe my brow with her fingers that still smell of herbs and oils.  “La vie n’est pas toujours un combat, Cher”, she begins,  “La vie est un voyage pour découvrir qui nous sommes et ce que nous voulons devenir”.I keep my eyes closed.  “Then tell me why it feels like every day of life is a struggle for me, Maman, why the journey of discovery doesn’t hold joy for me most days?” Maman laughs.  “You try to make things fit Cher, when sometimes there is no explanation.  Such as your visitor.  No logical rational explanation for that other than curiosity and a desire for knowledge”.  Keep the acquaintance or tell those who stand with you to send them on their way.  That is your choice, just as everything you include in your journey.  Some things may be out of your control such as how others act , but you control your reaction and can either dwell on the pain or let the rain wash it away and move on”.  I nod.  Maman’s practiced fingers have done their work, and I am relaxed enough to yawn slightly.  She chuckles.  “I think you need some tea and then a nap” she tells me.  Soon I have the proffered tea and sip it letting its warmth fill me.  I look around.  “The dog is hunting with George”, she tells me.  I nod.  I never ask where or for what they hunt…it doesn’t concern me as I’m sure George would only be too quick to point out.  I sit staring into the flames of the fire, sipping the herbal tea, letting the peace flow over and through me.  “Maman”, I begin…”is there something else I should be doing”? “What more can you do, Cher?” she asks. “You teach through example, although some do not notice it until after the fact.  You treat others with respect, the love you give isn’t always returned, but you still do so.  You accept what is handed to you often without much instruction and find a way to incorporate it into what you are doing,  so what else is there to be done?”  “You’re not trying to make me out to be a saint, are you”? I ask wryly.  “HA!  THAT would be a day indeed, mon petit”, she laughs.  “Non…not a saint.  A compassionate human being, perhaps, but then you have always been that.”  “It’s why you attract others.  Collect, as you say .  Your energy is warm and life giving to those who know only the gray depths, and even for a shadow loving ghede, such as yourself, it is felt.””Sorry to seem to want my ego stroked”, I tell her.  “I’m not sure of the whole reasoning behind it…just tired I guess”  “Oui”, she tells me, “sleep now and when you awaken things will seem more balanced”.  I felt her take my now empty cup and once more closed my eyes.  Sleeping deeply I felt her presence and once again caress my hair.  I could hear Brin sing the song that I wish I knew the words to, or the language in which it was sung that soothes my spirit. It’s as if I should know it and I probably do somewhere buried deep, but it too makes me feel as if its a part of “home”.  I relax and it feels as if I am once more centered.  I awoke this morning feeling less tired than I have for some days, and found myself kind of humming the tune of Brin’s song.  I smile and even if there were no real answers or questions that made sense in the “reality” of that which I live in on this plane, my spirit is once more in balance and I can face the coming week with strength and purpose which is the truth sanctuary holds for me.  I laugh as I reflect on that little gem and shake my head.  “Merci Maman,” I whisper,”I will remember that when I feel myself doubting”. Answers after all.

“I do believe” conjures up a lot of images.   I always think of the Cowardly lion having an epiphany of sorts about “evil” and witches and such…acts committed to make one a believer.  Things like that still occur.  This is a season that is supposed to be considered holy by many faiths, filled with fun, frivolity, love and compassion.  With the politicians running amok in Washington and elsewhere, jobs are scarce.  With  Unemployment benefits running out, families are  trying to make ends meet and still provide a time of magic for their children. It’s a little hard sometimes to feel connected spiritually or physically with the season.  Some people don’t even try.   But I have been reading about a phenomenon that has been happening across the country at the Kmarts in their layaway departments.  Now the working poor..and most of us are, because  by the time we pay bills there is little left… we are well familiarized with layaways because it helps us fulfill the dreams of little people in a timely manner .  Walmart bit themselves in the ass when they closed theirs..they realized it and opened it back up again this year…but Kmart has had one all the time.  So back to the phenomenon…it seems that some donors..majority anonymous, are paying off layaways for people with children just in time for the holidays.  Its been leaving people stunned, shellshocked and extremely grateful that someone would think of others.  The reason this is newsworthy?  It’s because its a rarity.  Think..name 5 people off the top of your head (famous or not) that having the money. would do  something of this nature for strangers.  Do they? No.  Why not?  If they give, they give to charities with strings so they can take it off their taxes to gain more money.  Most of the donors(and Kmart spoke with many) just wanted to do something for others in the spirit of the season.  No religion attached, no strings, just a desire to help because they could and had the funds.  They don’t even want acknowledged so they can be thanked!  All they want is for children to have presents and continue to believe in that spirit of giving, the magic that is Santa.  How amazing is that?   I know that there are people who choose to not tell their kids about Santa, the tooth fairy and Easter bunny…for them its lying because eventually the kids find out and they claim it disappoints them.  For me, I’ve always held that each child should own a piece of the magic…that spirit of love and generosity and fun filled indulgence that fills each season.  With all the darkness in the world today, why would you deny your child something that is wholesome and filled with so much love and compassion.  They are loved, and so are left a little something.  The gifts do not have to be extravagant, the intent is to remind the child that they have a place in this world and are loved for it.  I am a big believer that children need to be shown love and reminded often that they have a big place in the family.  It’s not an all adult world..they are special and important.  For without them, we adults would soon become so bogged down in our mundane little existence that we would forget that magic exists all around us.  So for those people who have the ability to give, big or small..my hat is off to you.  You are what keeps the spirit of love alive. The gift of “brotherhood” that we all need to remember to embrace as human beings, regardless of faith, race, sexuality…Love..it’s the most powerful component of magic around.  Use it wisely.

I cried today for you my friend,
soft tears of sorrow for your pain…
I cried for all your anguish and loss,
and for your cherished thoughts.

I cried today for you my friend,
I was there in spirit to hold you close
as I felt all the tears you held inside
as you did what had to be done.

I cried for you today my friend,
for all the things that could have been
and yet, were not
for a lifetime of love, sometimes bittersweet
ahh..the memories.

I cried today for you my friend,
out of love and concern
for your well-being. And the hopes
that somehow you felt my presence
and know that you are loved.

8/5/08 Shae mcQuoid

 

 

I wrote this for a friend who was dealing with a death in the family, but I released it again today for those who also have a need to hear words from those who care.

RING!!!!!! “Oh Jebus”, I groan to myself.  “AGAIN?”.  I roll over in bed and instinctively look in the darkest corner and see two shapes this time.  One I know extremely well, and the other that is beginning to annoy the hell out of me.  “WHAT do you want now, and why did you bring reinforcements?” I ask non too nicely.  The elf chuckles and speaks to his companion, “George this charge of yours is more than a little snarky when awakened.  No wonder you like her”.  George looks at me a bit pointedly as if to say “straighten up cher, there are things to be done”.  I comply and soften the tone of my voice…a little.  “The question still stands”, I say to the elf.  “What do you want, and why is George with you”?  The elf bows to me and does the unexpected.  “My apologies for awakening you, Madame, but I’ve been busy and could not come at an earlier time”.  Yeah, my jaw almost hit the floor, since majority of those who come do not offer apology nor explanation. Recovering somewhat, I wait patiently.  “You remember we spoke about your definition of love last we met?”, asked the elf.  “I remember” I tell him.  “Tonight I want to ask about family and what that is”, he tells me.  I look over at George as if to say “seriously?”, but he has seemingly  have decided to take a nap in the corner.  I look at the elf who has removed his hood to stand before me.  He is as I remember yet maybe a little taller somehow.  “I don’t frighten you”…it was more statement than question.  “I’m not sure I have enough common sense to be afraid”, I tell him laughingly.  He also laughs.  “I think you’ve fought so hard becoming who you are that you choose to not show fear”, he tells me.  “It’s a nice theory” I reply, to which he laughs again.  “The sarcasm is a good defense for you..keeps all those who don’t look close at the real you on the outside”.  “So those who do get inside that wall, would they fit your definition of family?” I smile, and tell him that yes I guess they would.  “So family is not all about the blood” he asks?  I sigh…”family by blood relation often disappoints us”, I tell him,”they are close enough to us in our daily lives that they have power to shift us off balance.  Those that we add to our ranks, friends that accept us for who we are, warts and all and still accept us anyway, those are cherished and are, in my world..family.  A tribe that has each other’s back, their best interest at heart, and can chide or cajole one another into pushing ourselves to grow”.  “L’amour est plus fort que le sang”, he asks? “Oui”, I tell him.  “Love is indeed stronger than blood”.  “It nourishes us and helps us find balance when we have to deal with the cruelties of our mundane world”.  “I am learning that” says the elf.  “I am having to push aside old fears and learn the complexities of family, the ones I have made into a family of sorts”.  He seats himself beside me on the bed as he muses to himself.  I say nothing but listen and watch.  “Family  by blood has power of a sort to heal and harm, and yet they exert it as they will without rhyme or reason at times, while those who we’ve made into family also have that power and often do not step across that line, but are more apt to reach out to heal instead of harm”.  “Would that be correct”, he asks me suddenly as if he’s just noticed that I am still here.  “I have found it to be that way” I tell him softly.  He nods.  “I thank you cher, for your patience, and your insight.  I will speak with you again I am sure” he smiles.  I smile as well, knowing full well that it will most likely be in the dead of night and I will be as cranky as ever. The elf stands, seemingly to have grown still, so I find myself looking upwards at him.  He bows once more, turns to George who now has shaken the cobwebs off and is preparing to leave.  George turns to look at me before they depart, and smiles and touches my face.”Vous êtes aimé un peu”.  I smile and bid them both goodby.  Laying back on the pillows, I think over both this conversation as well as the previous one.  Knowing that the questions asked of me are things I have already learned, I am curious as to whom they are really for.  Ah well, maybe that’s for a later midnight visit.  chuckling to myself, I snuggle back among the covers and fall into a deep, restful sleep…one without dreams.

I’m perusing the feeds on Facebook today since although I am off and should have slept in, I am awake.  Reason?  The Princess feels that I am to spend time with her and see her off for her day when I am home…and I enjoy our time together, so I get up.  Sometimes I go back to bed for a bit, but  today, I settled in with a cup of coffee and some reading of status’s from others.  Some make me chuckle at their humor, others make me read further into links posted, still others make me shake my head at the lack of common sense.  For instance, one status that combines both a link and lack of common sense is from someone who posted  link from natural news on the revamping of the definition of rape by the FBI.  http://www.naturalnews.com/034354_FBI_rape_definition.html

It basically says:”Rape” is:…penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”  Effective next year.  Yet the link goes off on a rant on the TSA and why nobody from NOW is going off on the invasive rape of those choosing to fly.  Apparently the author had a bad experience, and has decided that such screenings made up from the horror of 9/11 constitutes rape.  I’m guessing they forgot the words “without consent of the victim”…When one chooses to fly, they also accept the rules and regulations of said screenings as the norm at being able to do so before boarding a plane.  I know its flawed, most systems are.  But after watching planes go down, and destroy lives and security of this country, it’s more of a “better safe than sorry” kind of thing.  A little common sense and a balanced view of what rape is and isn’t would be more prudent for this author IMHO.  Rape isn’t about sex, but about power and control, and satisfying perverse desires.  Not people being overly ambitious in how they do their jobs before they allow one to get on a freaking plane.

 

Now on to the next one….someone posted about  not being able to join a church because their spouse had been married previously.  Now according to many churches dogma , one is considered to be committing ADULTERY if one marries, divorces, remarries.  So the church won’t allow  people to join their rolls claiming to be a member, yet one is free to come and worship and give your money(especially that).    Now I know they have their rules, after all that is one of their main tenets..rules and laws that one must follow..all man made of course because as I understand it(and I could be wrong cause what the fuck do I know from following such a path for years only to walk away and make one for myself?)..apparently the only charge put forth by Jesus…the head honcho as it were, for those calling themselves by his name…is that LOVE is the be all end all of what one is to use as a yardstick.  Now I am no expert by any means, but it seems to me that a great many , sitting on judgmental rules committees of said churches seem to be cutting off their nose to spite their face.  Nobody is perfect, and some who marry early do not even get the concept of what true love really is, so its common for it to play out as one ages.  And truly, who has the right to say they can’t claim a label when we all are far from perfection?  And what of those who want to join said church?  WHY? What about it would add anything to your walk with god?  To be able to lay claim that you are a (insert denomination here)gets you where exactly?  For me labels are divisive more than inclusive and tend to give some feelings of superiority that they are correct in their narrow-minded beliefs that theirs is the only way to achieve salvation/ascension.  Too constraining for me, which is why I can no longer walk that path, but do respect those who find it suits them.  I am just not a fan of rules man sets down and yet uses those same rules to exclude those who would be an asset to their community.  So for those who feel the need to set themselves up to join those exclusive little cliques…be sure its what you need in life..not just conforming to the status quo.  God finds you where you are no matter the path you are on or the one(s) you deal with on a daily basis.  It’s about being true to who you are and learning to love what is within.  Not what others demand you to be.

 

I’m often amused, aggravated, bewildered, but always entertained by the status left in the feeds.  Which is appropriate I guess since it is social networking after all.

 

PEACE OUT

It’s easy enough to whine about not having..especially in this time of  unemployment, colder weather, distance between people we care about.  And yet, as one lifts our head from our present situation to observe our surroundings, we see people who are losing their homes,and cannot afford to feed their families. Their children are asking Santa for basic necessities instead of their endless list of toys for Christmas.  We may not live in the grandest of homes, have jobs that are fulfilling to us other than they pay the bills(mostly), but as I look at my tree that is full to the gills with gifts for Brae(have mailed the other little people their things), and know what is on her list that she has asked Santa for and what is sure to show up in the living room…it is embarrassing really to know that one little girl is so blessed that she has more than her share.  I do not regret that really, because I never want her to know what its like to go without, nor do I ever want her to realize that life isnt always fair, she will learn that soon enough as she grows and learns her own lessons.  What I do want her to learn is that she is blessed by people who love her, who will do whatever it takes to protect her, provide for her and yes, spoil her because she is a priceless gift.  I also want her to know that others are not so fortunate.  The news is inundated with stories of children harmed by others, losing their young lives because of others selfish acts of violence.  I want her to know that this time of year is touted as one of love and compassion, but that we should show that to fellow human beings all year round.  I want her to know that its ok to want to kick someone ass for hurting others, that its ok to show sympathy for those who cry and to empathize with those who feel they dont fit in.  I too, forget to tell those around me what they mean to me, which is a shame really because they are an important part of my life.  They don’t realize their importance in my day sometimes, for which I am to blame because I neglect to speak up.  I am blessed beyond belief, with family, friends,work, and if I am neglectful to tell you all who grace my life…consider this my missive of thanks for all you do.

 

PEACE OUT

It’s been a long ass week for me.  I’ve been off work for almost 5  wks, so getting back into the routine is little hard on these aged bones of mine.  If I was back in my 20’s might not be so hard I think…Anyway, with  the work and  the familial duties, are endless loads of laundry that a small child creates, house to clean, dishes to wash, and lest we forget the extra curricular activities that come with this holiday season.  The princess is involved in some outside things so off we go.  Sleep falls way down on my list of things to do, so when I get the opportunity to do so, I take it.  So I’ve finally gotten the princess to bed, and I have laid myself down.  Dark falls and my eyes close.  I’m finally falling into a blissful sleep, when suddenly I hear ~RING! RING!~ wha? Where the hell is the noise coming from? I think I am awake, and as I look around the room, all I see is darkness…shaking my head, I burrow back down into the covers and once again close my eyes.  ~RING! RING!~ Ok..THAT is definitely some sort of bell.  Once again I open my eyes .  “Wakey wakey”, says a sarcastic voice.  I look and there in the corner  he stands.  I would call him an elf, because of his stature, but he looks nothing like the mythological ones depicted this time of year, but instead stands robed in some sort of hooded robe and all I can see really is his dark red eyes peering out at me in the darkness.   “What the hell do you want and why are you waking me up”, I snarl.  Yeah, am not the most pleasant of beasts when awakened prematurely.  He laughs.  “Don’t like the bells?”, he asks..”are they not part of this time of year?”.  In who’s world I wonder.  “Yeah”, I say.  “If one is singing a carol like I heard the bells of christmas ring, their old familiar carols play, mild and sweet their songs repeat, of peace on earth goodwill to men”. ” Or if one is passing by stores and see the bell ringers of an organization who professes that love and goodwill yet is prejudiced against those who either live outside their biblical beliefs or dogma.  ” The “elf” man laughs.  “They did tell me to expect a certain amount of sarcasm, but I’m inclined to believe that they might not have given me a full picture”.  “Who the fuck are they, and why did they send you here?” I ask.  “”You know who they are ” he snarls at me.  “And they sent me to speak with you”.  “Your timing sucks ass”  I tell him.  “I’m tired and not in the mood to hang out with one who finds it funny to ring fucking bells in my ear”.   I’m not at my best being awakened rudely so probably if I was more alert I might have thought about whom I might be speaking with, but that thought never occurs to me.  Suddenly he chuckles.  “I can see why you have been entrusted with truth”, he says.  “They chose well”.  Fine…I think…they  chose well..for what I’m not inclined to think about at the moment.  “So why are you here”? I ask, just barely maintaining some sort of civility, because after all, I am damned tired.
“I came to speak to you about love” he tells me.  “WHAT!?!?!?” “You wake me out of a blissful sleep that I so desperately need  to speak to me about a human concept that the majority of people wandering around have no clue as to what really is?” I ask him incredulously.  “You know” he tells me.  “Fine..let’s get it over with”.  I say.  “Are you asking or telling me?”  “I’m asking you for your definition” he says.  FFS I think to myself.  I am awakened by a bell ringing elf otherkin(only description I can call upon) to explain what the hell love is.  “Is there a reason for this?”, I ask him.  “There is” he says”.  I sit waiting for the explanation, but there is nothing forthcoming .  I sigh heavily, and begin.  “Love for me, in my opinion, is a verb..meant to be put into action.  Without acting upon the feelings one feels for others or for one’s self then it becomes merely yet another word in the english language that has lost value and is purely lip service.”  “So are there great things required for this action?”he asks.  “Not always”, I tell him.  “Sometimes nothing more than being there for a friend to vent is a way of showing love”.  “And yet, it is a sacrifice of sorts, is it not”, he asks again.  “I guess that is one way to look at it”, I tell him.  “Let me see if I understand you.  You feel that if one does nothing to back up the words of love spoken, then its not truly love, correct?” “correct”.  He pushes back the hood, and I get a glimpse in the shadows of a face that seems disfigured, which explains his penchant for shadows perhaps.  I see a smile, almost a grimace really upon his face.  “I was told that you love fiercely, those that you feel belong to you”, he begins.  “I can see now why they sent me to speak with you”.  He chuckles.  “Thank you for speaking with me and giving me your opinion”.  He bows.  “I will let you go back to sleep now”.  And with that, the room is yet again clothed in total darkness.  I shake my head, then begin to once again burrow back into the bedcovers and find that sweet spot that provides deep release from the mundane plane of awakening, thinking as I do so, that it would depend upon whom one asks if that is really true for one learns many things while supposedly asleep.  I smile, then drift away.  To sleep.  Definitely.  Not. to. Dream.