Amethyst's Offerings

Was looking at a posting on group page of core beliefs in a hundred words or less.  Not as easy as one thinks really because for one thing…it makes us all have to sit down and be concise in our wording, as well as what the hell we really do believe in that would in a sense fit in a nutshell.  I posted, but facebook seems to have eaten that posting, so will try and post it here:

I believe that we are all connected one to another through energy that is given us from the universe, whether higher power, deity, whatever one believes in personal perspective.  I pull from ancestry to mesh with things I have chosen to include that will construct a spiritual path for myself because this path is a reflection of who I am rather than what I do.  I believe that we are all one race..human, and as such should be adult enough to give respect even if others do not afford the same… and if they cannot do that.. we  eat their souls

 

Ok, that last part I was being a little facetious, but, it seems reasonable to want to kick people’s ass if they have no respect for others because it tells me they don’t have much for themselves either.  The other part..that is true reflection of who I am.  I don’t try and feed people a line of bullshit, making them think I am other than what they see.  I am human and have my days of snarkiness like everybody else.  I am not perfect so don’t expect everything that I believe or do on this path to be that way either.  I believe that we all have gifts and are supposed to use them, whether its healing, teaching or passing on the knowledge we acquire along the way.  that may not work for you, but my guides tell me that is the path I am on.  Do I always listen?  Nope..told you if I were deity, I could do as I please and not stumble, but once in awhile I have to be reminded that I have things to do.  I don’t have time for labels either.  I am human being, child of the universe as is everybody else.  Calling myself anything but student of life is bit much for me.  I know it works for some, but I just cannot do it.  They step out on stage and demand attention because of what they know.  Some are damn good at what they know, and others are just as good at the sleight of hand and manipulation that is required for that entertaining show.  I have no desire to show all the facets of the mirror that make up myself.  I like being in the shadows watching humanity..one learns a lot.  I am out more than I have been in a while, and was reminded that when I do so I should up that shield.  I’ll not forget  that lesson anytime  soon.  The thing is this was a sweet little exercise because it requires thought…what do we believe, why we do so and be direct and to the point instead of meandering around and dredging in dogma, doctrine or any of that other rhetoric that one seems to get caught holding.  So if you have a chance, and want a challenge..try this yourself.  One hundred words..no more NO less…define yourself and your beliefs so that others may catch a glimpse as to what makes us tick .

 

PEACE OUT

 

 

Most would agree with the statement “truth is relative”..It essentially means that we all have a perspective on what is “true” and as such we tend to see things from that view.  But even in the midst of all that perspective, facts do not change.  if something is what it is, then one needs to be able to accept that.  If A +B=C, then it doesn’t matter that you feel it should be something else…changing the facts will not make it so.  I’ve read some things about one who felt such guilt over how many crystals and stones are mined or found to the point of taking all they had and throwing them into the ocean or a lake(I forgot which), but the point is…why?  Did none of those stones call their name?  Were they not serving purpose when they “owned” them?  Then there is the person who feels too much guilt to eat meat..Seriously…do the plants they eat not feel anything?  All living things have energy..just ask a scientist…so I find it ridiculous that people will go over the edge and be extreme in their “truth”.  It’s the same with other things.  I read energies..know people…always has been that way.  Just because you lie to me, and I don’t happen to call you on it(I pick my battles)…it does not mean that I believe what you just said.  It just means I don’t think you are worth any of my time and energy to kick your ass…at the moment.  What it does mean though is that I will not believe another damn word that comes out of our mouth.  if you tell me the sky is blue, I will poke my head out and look before I believe that piece of truth from you.  Just because you spin it, fold it, twist it and resize it to suit yourself….the facts do NOT change…so if truth is really what you speak..make sure you use facts and back that up or it might be a bit messy when it all hits the fan.

 

PEACE OUT

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3

I am reminded of this today, because first when I got to work we received word that a mechanic who works with us had passed away last night, and in the next few hours I got news that a cousin and his wife had their first child this morning.  Life and death… a time for all of us.  I am not a big believer  in coincidence.  I believe that there is a time and purpose for all things.  Having a “bad” day?  maybe you overslept because you forgot to set the clock, and things went downhill from there…It happens..perhaps your body needed a little more rest and subconsciously you did that.  It triggers a chain reaction affect, but it is what it is.  I believe that everything we encounter in our life has a purpose.  it’s either a lesson, a way to look at a situation in a new light, or a way of making you stop short to reassess your current direction.  Even mundane things like family drama that play out…harsh criticism, a kid who cuts you off from their family because of other shit beyond your control..maybe that is to cause you to think about that family dynamic in a new light…and if it comes back to bite them in the ass, I might be persuaded to not say “I told you so”, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.  It is hurtful and then makes its way to anger, and then well…things happen I guess,lol.  People always want to look for a reason why things would happen..and sometimes even if we don’t understand it, there is a purpose for it.  Reading over the verses, one could apply it to almost any situation we encounter.  It’s not because we are “bad” people and are getting bitch slapped by the universe…things have a purpose.  it is up to us to look for that purpose.  No, I don’t believe that kids with cancer are being punished…but maybe the purpose there is for us to look at that situation and treat the other people in our lives whether they be connected by family, jobs, or just a chance encounter, a little more kindly.  What if the purpose would be for us to check the status of our lives and find a way to dance in the midst of the storms?  We all get so caught up in the existence of our day to day that we often forget to live.  To reach out and smell those roses blowing in on the breeze, to feel the warmth of the sun on our face,  to dance in the puddle that have a sheen of rainbow dancing across them after a summer shower.  Everything has a time and purpose, and while we may not always appreciate the timing of the things that happen in our lives, it is there for a reason.

 

PEACE OUT

 

Ever have a dream that seems so off the wall that it seemingly makes no sense?  We all have I guess, but I had one about protection that made me wonder just what I had eaten the night before to dream so lucidly and yet in such a bizarre manner.  That I was seemingly being overwhelmed by things in my daily life was an understatement , so sleep seemed a refuge.  Little did I know it was going to be an adventure.  I soon found myself sliding down to my favorite place of a glen of some sort, sitting by the fire just relaxing, enjoying the warmth and solitude.  Then my guide, Brin, comes to me and tells me that we are going for a walk.  I’m thinking “NOW!?!”,,I am tired ffs! ” But it will do no good to try and argue, so I get to my feet and follow.  We come to this massive tree, and Brin tells me that I am to enter.  Really?  I am to go inside a tree?  Shaking my head, I do so, and it seems like a long ass staircase going down…down….down.  Omg..am I ever going to get to where I am supposed to be going?  Finally after what seems like hours, I reach the bottom of the  staircase.  I come to this place that seems a little gloomy, moss hanging in trees, which confuses me since that is only seen when I visit Maman Celeste..Have I come to another area of the swamp?  “Welcome Cher”, I hear from somewhere above my head.  It is not a voice I recognize although the greeting is familiar.  I look around and above me are 3 of the hugest spiders I have ever seen.  They start to descend towards me on their webs and as they get closer I realize just how huge they are.  I start to back up, and the one farthest back says to the others”she’s afraid..we are wasting time on this one because?”  “We have been asked to share with her”, says the first one.  They reach the ground beside me, dwarfing me actually, and the first one one tells me “My name will be unpronounceable to you, so you may call us as you will, and it will be acceptable”..Oh joy..I get to “name” them..Well, let me get my bearings, and think a second.  Ok then, Pierre, Jean, and George.  “Oh very clever”, says the third..He seriously is getting on my last nerve..I don’t know where the hell I am, don’t have a clue what this is about, who they are and why we are thrown together and he’s done nothing but make snarky comments since I arrived.  “Quiet George” says, Pierre.  “Cher, you have been sent to us because you need to work on your protection.  The light shield, is just not cutting it for you since your workings have been stronger.  You need to protect yourself from the attacks coming your way from some who want only to cause harm”.  I am confused.  who wants to cause me harm?  I haven’t gone out of my way to try and antagonize people…only kick when it’s warranted…”I think she’s slow” says George…And I think you are more than a little rude and obnoxious I think about George at which point Pierre and Jean laugh out loud.  Ok, I am a little slow, but can be forgiven since this is new for me, right?  They can read my thoughts so know what I am thinking. “Yes, says Pierre..we read your thoughts.  Your face is also most expressive so its not difficult for us to do.  So, pull up a seat and we will try to explain .  I look around and spy a mushroom, and it looks comfortable, so I sit…thinking this is my own personal version of Alice in Wonderland?  I think I could have done so much better in the details.  Pierre laughs again.    “You can decorate anytime you come back” he says.  So…where do we begin?  I ask Pierre.  I am avoiding George due to his obnoxiousness, and slight smell that kind of makes me want to ask him where the hell he’s been..under a rock somewhere I’m sure…  Jean who has been quiet thus far speaks finally.  “I am to teach you how to make your web, Cher”.  A web?  I am to spin or weave a web?  Is this on a loom somewhere?  I don’t know how to do this stuff! I think I am losing my mind…”Come with me”, says Jean.  I walk with him and he explains that yes, he will provide all the materials and show me how to weave the simplisticly complicated web of protection for me and my space. ” This is protected space, so you can always come here”, he says..”and don’t mind George..he’s been out among things we don’t even care to discuss with humans…it’s why the scent lingers”.  FFS…I am so going to have to watch what I think…Jean chuckles, and we enter  a small building that is beautiful to behold.  It has lavenders and purples, irridescent blues…colors that make me happy just to think of them.  And in the middle of the room sits an old loom that looks like it has existed since time began.  Jean leads me to the loom, and bids me sit, which I do.  He then begins to gather what I had originally thought as wall color but realize is silk threads.  He brings them to the loom and shows me how to place it on the loom, and soon I am following his instructions, over, under, through, around…Soon I lose track of time and begin to feel slightly jazzed from the energy.  it’s a pleasant feeling of creation and one that I haven’t felt in a long while.  After I have been there awhile, just weaving along, Jean checks my progress.  “This is impressive Cher”, he says.  “You have caught on well”.  So what do I do with this new skill and this amazing web I have just weaved I was wondering.  “Your guide will help you hang them” Jean tells me.  Like curtains I am thinking…”similar”, he laughs.  soon I am finished with my project and Jean helps me remove the beautiful web and carries it out the door, leading me back to where the others wait for us.  “George will carry it up for you”, says Pierre.  I arch my eyebrows, but say or think nothing more.  “He is the only one of us who travels”, says Jean.  So George gathers up my web and we begin the long ascent up the staircase.  “You did well for a novice”, George tells me grudgingly. “Thank you”, I tell him.  As we reach the top, Brin, my guide is waiting for us, and she takes the web from George.  He nods to her then turns to go back downstairs.  He turns to me once more and says..”take care of yourself, and we are always here if you have need of us..anytime”.  smiling slightly, he turns.  “Thank you George”, I tell him smiling a little myself, for its not every day one wins over a spider.  Brin leads me to the edge of my space and we then begin the task of hanging my web.  I’m not sure it’s enough, but she smiles, and soon there is web shining beautifully in the firelight all over the place.  How did it become so large I wonder.  I feel completely spent, so sit closer to the fire and Brin begins to sing to me.  it’s not a language that I know how to  speak, or even if it is indeed a true language but it speaks to my spirit, and I soon lay my head in her lap and drift off.  When I wake I am surprised to find that I am still  here in sacred space and not out and about the mundane plane where I live life.  Brin tells me that alarms went off, so we must check the web.  We walk to the edge and I am more than a little curious as to what is exactly there.  I am surprised to see a woman that I know..well, not personally but she is connected to people that I do know personally and has been having issues with.  She is standing there with fangs bared, demanding to know who was I, little nobody witch that could construct such protection! She rants and rails, and yet we say nothing to her, just adjust a slight fold in the web and then Brin leads me back to the fire she has rebuilt.  What just happened I ask.  Brin smiles, and says that the attack was known to be coming, so all concerned decided I needed to up the protection.  So will she come back?  No..she now knows that this is not a place she can gain access to..pisses her off, but she will go back to her original targets.  I shake my head and try to wrap my head around the realms and things I am learning.  I close my eyes again, and this time when I awake, I am returned to my bed.

Now  time has passed  since the dream, and yet the details are vivid. Especially when I see the firelight cling off the colors of my web. I am still amazed  that I was able to construct such a thing of beauty.  I have reason to think that I will be making a trip back down the tree to see the spiders, things that I dismissed before, are showing me that was an error in judgement to do so.  The protection not only keeps me protected as I work, but those living within the confines of the realm are also affected..Yeah I know, “what affects one stone reflects on all”.  So, this time when I return to the spiders, I will have at least some rudimentary idea of why it is I have come and what is expected of me.

 

Peace Out

I’ve been having a conversation with friends on Facebook today that amuses me.  Of course, the friends are amusing as hell as usual, but the topic of conversation is one that I’ve actually had before about the differences in people from the north and south.  I posted a cute little status about being from the south and all the words I use in my daily life, ain’t, ya’ll(and that is plural as well as singular..don’t let it confuse you,lol), fixin(as in I’m fixin to go to the store..need anything?), yonder, which can be a direction, a certain spot where something is located.  Bless your heart is not often meant the way you think it is….”they can’t help how they are, bless their heart”.  We also got to talking about the differences between people and why “true” southerners feel that we often get the shaft from people above the Mason-Dixon line.  “We” often feel that southerners are perceived to be ignorant, lazy, racist and just plain stupid at times.  Way off base, although we have a tendency to view northerners as rude and obnoxious.  So what do we feel make up the qualities of a true southerner?  Well, for one thing, we don’t include Texan or Florida in that list because Tx is its whole other country, and while Texans did indeed fight in the War Between the States, it was not a state, nor was Florida, so….we have limited list..Tennessee, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, Louisiana, and Georgia..What characteristics do we feel is the epitome of a southerner?  Well, it’s all about family…natural born, extended, ‘adopted” and those we just take in off the street because it is the thing to do.  We have an open door policy for family and friends..drop in any time. even during meal time, and you will be set a place at the table(although be warned that your manners will be talked about after you leave for doing so,lol).  Respect is given to the elderly for they are our community leaders, and the ones who fought for freedoms that we often take for granted in our leisurely pace of living.  We remove our hats, place hearts over heart during the playing of the national anthem at all sporting events, listening quietly to the invocation even if that is not our path, because it is still the thing that is done in a mainly christian atmosphere.  We pull over to the side of the road to allow funeral processions to move through town, paying our respects to the survivors as well as the deceased, even if we did not happen to know that person.  Going “to town” even if that involves walking or driving a few blocks is always an event to be looked forward to since one never knows what “neighbor” one is likely to run into, and of course we always speak and say hello to those we meet.  Walking into the bank where the teller knows you by name is commonplace and makes you feel like you do indeed matter.  We help our neighbors without a second thought or thinking of getting some kind of remuneration for doing so…neighbors are our friends, sometimes family even.  Yard sales are a big thing throughout the community, and you may find some just to make a few extra bucks or it could be for some sort of charity, so all come to check it out.  Small town festivals, like the classic car one that happens the first Saturday after Labor day here in my town is a big hit.  It pulls in artisans, musicians, food venders and of course those awesome cars from days gone by, and a great time is had by all, as well as providing a needed economic boost for the town itself.  It’s more of a way life, being southern.  Community, schools, church, football, NASCAR, they all find their way into our every day life.  We live, eat, breathe it..It is who we are and we wouldn’t trade it for any other way of living. Children are our future..we push, cajole, threaten and demand that they want to go further than just high school…the graduation rate here in our town is over 98%, which is damn good.  Of those majority go on to college, even if its just for 2 yr Jr College to help further the skills they have.  We encourage them to give back for those gifts the universe has provided, so charity is learned at home.  Common courtesy is one of the mainstays of the community as a whole, although you will find asshats everywhere, no matter the direction one is from, and it is that sense of community that ties us together, no matter what part of the south we are from.  Even if one has been gone from the area for some time, our roots still make us proud to be called “child of the south”.  The memories of summers running barefoot with cousins, friends, siblings, eating fresh produce from the garden, chasing fireflies in the dusk until we are called in to be bathed and some family time before bed, still make us smile.  While I understand that those “up north” would probably take umbrage at the distinctions I have drawn, and will tell me that  they too have some of these same qualities, and I applaud that.. I just haven’t seen too much evidence of that in my travels.  I guess I would say that in my opinion, being a “true” southerner is more than an accident of birth.  It has to do with the connection that one feels to the earth, how grounded one feels in the roots set down by family, a relishing of our history, although some of it is not so pretty to look at, but can be learned from.  It is about being proud of who you are, flaws and all, and being a productive member of your community.  Respect and caring for one another that transcends boundaries of race, wealth, religion, or sexual preference.  It’s a work in progress, as it should be.  All in all, I am proud to be a daughter of the south..wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

PEACE OUT

Daloinge or udxl(depending upon who’s translation one wants to use) is the Cherokee word for shadow. My brother used he first one, and signed all his work as “shadow”.  He adopted that name after tracing our family roots and being given entrance to the tribe.  We are part of the Bear clan, and that is is part of his artwork, a big bear pawprint within the artwork itself.  I’ve been thinking of him a lot lately.  I guess because it is almost anniversary of his passing too soon(9 yrs next month) and of course his birthday is next month as well..autumnal equinox, born on the cusp of Virgo/Libra.  My brother, Rick, and I were extremely close.  “Irish twins” my Gran called us.  he was born 8 days before my first birthday, so I guess we were destined to do everything together.  I miss him more this time of year than any other ..maybe in part because our birthdays are so close and they are coming up, but also because there are things that I didn’t understand about our heritage that I would love to ask him about now.  Things about his spirit journey and about what the desert spoke to him that called him so often. I didn’t understand how he could want to live alone away from family out on the streets, and while I know some of it may have been attributed to his mental illness(schizophrenia), some of it was indeed spiritual.  It was reflected in his artwork which was so amazing.  he worked for some time for Harley Davidson at all the major bike shows, sometimes tagging along with some friends and drawing patterns for the tattoo shows as well.  I shook my head in amazement at all the places he went and the people he met.  But mental illness, drugs and alcohol often bring genius to its knees and he was no exception.  He got so sick before his death, that a man in Arizona put him on a bus to come home to us..to me.  We never did find that person..divine intervention maybe, IDK…I had to become his guardian and have him committed to  make him stay in one place so that he could have the valve replaced in his heart.  That is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life..become responsible for someone else outside of my children for their mental, and physical well-being.  It hurt for him to face me with accusing eyes and demand to know why I was locking him up…I cried all the way home, even though I knew that it was for his benefit.  He had the surgery and I wore his ring..silver, tiger eye freeform, made on the reservation in Arizona especially for him.  “I get that back” he tells me smiling…”Maybe” I tell him, laughing.  He did in fact get it back….I put it on his finger when he was back in his room.  It is one of the few things that made it back home with his body upon his death.  I wear it daily now…it connects me with his spirit, I feel his presence when I look at it.  Someone once told me its a portal for him to come and go at will as our connection was very strong.  I don’t know if this is true, but it’s a comforting thought.  I’m not sure why I write about Rick tonight..maybe it’s because others have experienced loss and it connected with me..the difficulties in having a sibling with problems and how the family reacts to them…it’s difficult trying to be the “voice of reason” with someone who’s addictions coupled with mental illness makes them less than reasonable.  It’s hard trying to help pick up the pieces of their lives over and over again when they in their destructive madness seem intent on destroying themselves at every turn.  Sometimes people have to turn away because they can’t handle the pain..our parents did.  They loved him in their way I guess, but he always felt like he didn’t measure up to the military ideal of our dad,or  what my mother envisioned for his life as her only son.  She tried over and over again, but in the end, she could not be there for him when he was ill and needed a guardian.  Enter the ‘twin”. Rick even told his psychiatrist I was his twin…he was the shadow,I was the conscience.  Good analogy I guess.  I always have had opinion of how I thought he should be living and showcasing his work..but it wasn’t his ideal life, so was not to be. So tonight, I lift a drink in his honor and remember his wicked sense of humor that seems to be revisited in my son and grandson Benson, Check out his amazing artwork as I pull them out and look through them and smile as I look over old photographs of us as kids and play “remember when”… It’s been a nostalgic mood as of late, and I’m not sure what or why it’s there, so I’ll just use it to remember some of my favorite people and cherish the love that graced my life while they were with me, and feel the warmth of their spirit as they come.

PEACE OUT

 

Bullying is a fact of life..it happens everywhere to everyone at one time or another.  But just because it’s always been around, does that mean that it has to stay this way?  I mean I know some who say that people get through and over being bullied while they were growing up.. really?  Then why do things get triggered in certain situations when we go through them?  In truth, they do affect us whether we want to admit it or not.  So what to do about the things now?  As adults(presumably)we have the power of self control and as such should be able to reign in our tempers.  To pick on someone or take them out just because we can is not only ignorant, but reprehensible.  We then wonder where the children get it from?  They mirror what they learn from the adults in their lives.  If they see bigotry and intolerance for others who are different, then that is what they will also show the world.  I’ve seen postings on Fb where people encourage one to show empathy to that one lost kid in the hall and smile , say something positive.  nice thought…if it happens.  Majority of times, one is too wrapped up in their own drama to pay attention to the one lost soul out there until they see something happen between them and another individual who thinks it will be fun to make fun and ridicule them. And they will stand as watch as yet another victim falls prey.  Very few have the guts to take a stand and say “this is NOT right”.   But here’s the thing.  I’ve seen a lot of these postings on people’s pages and know that I have seen some be just as guilty as that bully in the hall.  If one posts something that does not align with what they perceive as ‘truth” , then they too go after that individual with both feet, demanding source, calling names as well as making them to appear to be a fool.  Now in truth, the person probably has shown some stupidity in their post, and used woeful sourcing, but to call names and come down harshly because we have lack of patience for such types of people to me is a type of bullying.  While it may offend the one individual, the negativity heaped upon the group as a whole lingers..”what affects one stone, reflects on all”…and yet one still posts about bullies.  Is it because we refuse to acknowledge that at times, we too are the bullies, who demand others come up to our expectations?  That our “truth” as seen from our perspective is the only way for a situation to be seen?  Not everyone is going to come up to the standards we set for ourselves and others in our lives..fact of life.  Some people are just not capable.  So while we  shake our heads at some who like to live in a fantasy world and not walk a path of truth, we can accept that that is their life, their path, and we have to learn to accept that whether we like it or not.  If we expect the bullies(and that includes us all) to learn to do something constructive with themselves, then we need to learn to accept people’s differences in everything about them.  We arent here to educate the whole world…we are here to learn how to live within it for ourselves.  If by chance what we learn happens to help someone else, then so much the better..bonus gift from the universe.   We need to learn to treat each other as human beings..one race, one love..one energy.  It is this above anything else that will pull us together in a network of humanity.

 

peace out

Ever wonder why people have this need to include fantasy in their lives?  Well, for one thing, it breaks up the mundane of our daily lives, and can help in our sexual release..but what about in a spiritual connection?  Now some would state that a belief in god, any god would be fantasy in itself due to their not understanding in a concept of an omnipotent being who watches us make our mistakes , seeing all the evil heaped upon our innocents, and the hate and rhetoric spewed at people who dare to believe something different than we do, or dare to live a different lifestyle.  And yet it is believed that souls will be “saved” if one just believes.  Now that sounds like a story straight from a fantasy novel doesn’t it?  And yet people believe in it..they develop their spirituality around it.  And that is their prerogative.  Pagans are not immune from things such as this…I’ve seen people believe in unicorns, fairies, dragons, being “otherkin”, vampires, werewolves, witches.  I know that in our realm of things, some things do indeed exist, but to actively add them to as path to the exclusion of common sense seems a little ridiculous to me.  I mean unicorns are cute and sparkly, but seriously..does anyone really believe they exist out of story books or cartoons?  dragons exist in various forms throughout the ages and some use them as guides, so cannot entirely discount them…I am a great believer of the Fae, as they are part of my heritage ..vampires do exist, some practice sanguination(that is blood to you) , while others are of the psychic variety and may or may not know that they practice as such, since they are the ones who can suck all the energy out of a room as soon as they enter it.  Witches exist..we are those who practice the craft of old in various ways.  The “otherkin” is difficult to explain and while some cultures have a form of shape shifters, it is usually those young or inexperienced who lay claim to this label ..I have yet to wrap my mind around it.

And then there is the whole genre of people who watch the shows and movies from Hollyweird and believe that all who are wiccan/pagan are as portrayed in them.  I shake my head at those who cannot miss an episode of the newest one “true blood” because it contains all the addictions, sex, blood and the occult. Witches hunt the vampires, there is plenty of fairy glitter to sprinkle around, and a witch who is said to be Wiccan, since that is a legitimate faith  recognized by the U.S. supreme Court.  And yet, mainstream news always wants reaction from ‘real” witches to see how they feel…There will always be those who cry foul and demand that this is not the truth, and in some aspects they are right.  The best fiction always carries a grain of truth to be more believable to the reader.  Charmed witches used herbs for workings..so do those of us who are real witches…we don’t go hunt down demons, because why would we try to destroy those who cannot be destroyed , and could be a potential help in what we are trying to do?  FYI..demons/daemons/angels..same things depending upon the faith one is checking out.  Harry Potter used enough terms used by those in the pagan world to resonate with the “muggles” who do not practice.  But as with the show Bewitched from days gone by and “I dream of Jeanie”, it is all entertainment, not meant to be a primer on what those of us who go about our daily lives do on our paths.  Go ahead and enjoy the fantasy, it breaks up the monotony of life, but temper it with some reality.  The shows are entertainment, nothing more.  Want reality?  Spend some time with a single mom who has to budget life so that her child(ren) have the things that are necessary in life as well as maybe some of the frills their friends get, while receiving little or nothing  from the other parent.  Or try  talking to a veteran who came home from fighting for his country to find there is no employment for him in this economy, so how is he supposed to support his family and deal with all he’s seen and done in the name of freedom?  Those are realities that people deal with every day, and nobody makes movies of those because its not entertaining or sexy enough to hold your attention.  so the next time you feed your fix for the “occult”..remember that its only fiction and nothing like the real world..but that can be a good thing most days when life has been handing you crap.

 

Peace out.

Boundaries…just the word alone brings to mind a partition of separation, a divide.  So why would we have those..should we have those.From a personal perspective, I have always had  boundaries .  I hate having my personal space invaded when I am working or doing things that require a lot of concentration.  I also dislike it when people touch my personal belongings.  This weekend was full of conversation of people not respecting other’s personal space regarding their path(you’re doing it wrong), overstepping boundaries about family dynamics(don’t even ask), and lest we forget the personal attacks..”you’re going to go out wearing that”? yeah..I know sometimes it seems like to those on the outside looking in, that its about “petty stuff”, but really when you think about it, we all have things that we would prefer others to just keep their nose the hell out of.  We fashion our lives, our paths, our spirituality as best we can.  Sometimes we cobble it from a blueprint already set up by others, sometimes taking things that are workable and shaping it to reflect who we are.  So what gives others the right to overstep those walls we erect for our own protection?  Robert Frost once remarked

Before I built a wall, I’d ask to know
What I was walling up or in
And to whom I was like to give offence 

Truthfully, most people respect boundaries, but then you have those who take offense that you will not let them into every aspect of your life.  I don’t get that.  I feel everyone is entitled to some private space..that one corner that you can keep hidden from the world.  So what is it that makes people want to pry into secrets of others..the reading of diaries, the stepping over boundaries..even those spelled out  in full view of everyone.  I mean I dont know how much plainer one can get when you tell someone…It’s personal..back away…..I’ve even had people get mad at me for not saying everything my path encompasses…I don’t get that either..Why does it matter?  I give a general view..sometimes what I know comes out in conversations, other times I am not telling, not because it’s some gigantic secret passed down by elders, ancestors, or what have you..but because it’s my own personal beliefs, practices and rituals.  I made them mine based upon a few things shown to me by others that I respect, other things that my guides have shown me and things that resonated when I found them in my search for knowledge.  It’s MY journey–and if that wall I erect to keep you from satisfying your curiosity  offends you..then SO FUCKING WHAT!!!  I don’t care!  I am not here to feed your insatiable ignorant curiosity about what it is that makes me tick.  I choose to live my life as I will and your opinions do NOT matter in the grand scheme of things.  So yes, boundaries are important because they set limits for people who do not get the concept that everyone has their own code of morals, ideals and general views of life.  Was asked if this was directed at specific people, and while I could be snarky and say yes..I’ll just hold up the mirror and see who doesn’t care for the view…

I have a recurring dream..I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.  It is always of a hoodoo woman in the swamps named Maman Celeste’.  She is a small woman, barely standing 5 foot tall, and her lithe body is often dressed in a colorful skirt that barely covers her bare feet.  Her cinnamon colored skin is perfumed by the herbs she uses and around her neck are some of the most colorful beads/shells I have ever seen.  Her dark eyes seem to peer into my soul as if she can see every emotion that has ever been wrought in my life or ever will be.  I have never been afraid to come to her place in the swamp, the small hut sitting above the water as if it is there by magic, the spanish moss hanging from the trees as if they were pulled from the mists of Avalon.  Smoke from her fire draws me in , filling me with its warmth and allowing me to relax.  Sometimes I find myself coming in on a boat, low slung canoe like that the trappers use, but this night I just appeared at her door.  “Come child”, Maman instructs me.  “For you have journeyed long”.  I do not know if this is indeed a long journey here or if I am just deeper in sleep, but I never have questioned Maman, nor will I, so I do as she bids me.  As I enter the hut, Jacques, the oldest, blackest, hugest dog one would ever meet raises his head to peer at the company.  Seeing that it is I, he lays his head back down and closes his eyes.  “It has been awhile Cher” says Maman.  I agree that it has been at least a year since I have been here, and I guess I am wondering why it is that I have chosen now to come.  I have been stressed from family issues, working too hard to keep things afloat and have made myself sick in the process by not staying shielded enough, and usually when I come to this place of sanctuary..and yeah, it does feel that way for me…I am gathering for a big working and need her guidance.  I rarely work when I am sick unless there is an emergency or its required by my guides(and I do consider Maman one to be sure).  “You are here because I have things to show you” she says.  “you have been walking around hiding the things you know..you let others speak.”  I do this I know..I rarely tell people what I have gathered into my path, that this form of folk magic was passed to me by my Gran who was taught by hers…I don’t expect others to understand it, nor care if they feel it has no place in a pagan path…It’s part of who I am, what I do.  I still have much to learn about the ancestors though  and tell her this.  “So…how do you want to acquire that knowledge?” Maman asks me.  I have no idea..probably why I sit back and watch…that too is part of who I am, a habit cultivated from living life as I did growing up.  “I will tell you something”, she says.  “I think that if you would stop fighting with who you are meant to be, things would come a lot more easily”.  I agree..but sometimes life in society causes me to assume some sort of secret identity , like a clark kent/superman kind of thing, because I fear that if I were to walk more openly, things could get really crazy in my life.  So I set a boundary up..one I have yet to cross.  So what to do?  Will I have to cross that line in order for me to gain the knowledge that I seek?  “Not yet”, I am told..but “soon”..I’m more than a little relieved that I don’t have to move out of this comfort zone I am in, but the soon remains in the back of my head.  Not an idle word to be sure.  Maman Celeste goes to a chest and brings back a box for me to open..It is just a small wooden thing that looks so old, I am almost sure that it will fall apart in my hands if I remove the lid, but I open it at her insistence and there on a small piece of parchment is the answer I was seeking in my books.  I look up in amazement, although I should know not to be surprised by anything I receive here.  She laughs at my face…”You just needed to ask the right person in the correct manner, Cher”…I shake my head and laugh at myself a little more than ruefully, for she is right.  I should know by now that asking the right questions to the right person in the most respectful manner will always give the right direction.  I take my answer and put it in my right pocket and close the small box and hand it back to Maman.  It’s almost like a feeling of relief has washed over me and I lean back in my chair and close my eyes.  I hadn’t realized until now that it was worrying me that much.  “Rest child”, Maman’s voice comes from behind me.  I feel her hands touch my forehead lightly as if she were anointing me , touching me with lightly perfumed fingertips.  I sigh with contentment, allowing myself to fall deeper into rest, enveloped into the warmth and safety of the peace that I have only been able to find here in this place.  I awoke in the dawn with a smile on my face, for not only did I receive the information I was seeking, but received the rest I needed to get well.  I know that eventually I will have to ask the questions of what next, and do I step across the line permanently or can I travel back and forth..things that I know Maman Celeste’ knows but will not tell me …yet.  She will wait to see what I have done with this new piece of the puzzle, and where it leads me.  For a change, I am not worried…maybe I am growing….maybe I have decided to live life instead of existing, looking for problems where none exist.  I am amused.