Betrayal

Life is full of quirks isn’t it? We honestly never know when something is going to slam us unexpectedly from out of the blue.  Our challenge is how we deal with it and find a way for us to set our feet.

Sometimes we just get too complacent about using our tools that have served us well.The ability to read, see others for who they really are, has always been one that I’ve been able to use even when I didn’t know what to call it.  My only blind spot was with family or those I let into my inner circle. I have a tendency to let them slide sometimes.   I know when they’re lying to me, I just don’t always call them on it.  Sometimes its just to keep the peace that is sometimes a work in progress intact or sometimes the issue is minute and I don’t care to expend the energy on it.  I tend to pick and choose my battles these days.  But what does it do to my inner self if I continuously let this slide?  I stop looking within those I think I know well and ignore the obvious..that often leads to a betrayal.  Some would consider that a harsh word, but truthfully, what would you label it ? Those who profess love and concern for you, do not tell you things that affect you intimately, keeping secrets because “they don’t want to hurt you”.  I’m calling BULLSHIT. If you were truly my friend, then total honesty would be one gift you would bestow upon our relationship.  I do not ask anymore from the people in my life than I ask of myself.  Sometimes, for whatever reason,  they cannot rise to that level and I understand that its not always in their make up. So I’m willing to give a little slack on some issues.  But one thing I DEMAND is loyalty.  If you cannot have my back and tell me truths I need to be aware of then how can I trust you? I no longer can take for granted that what you say or do is truth anymore. Even on the little shit.

So today I get slammed with a truth about something that affects the heart of my family..one I should have been made aware of.  I find out that some people we have in common on a list in social media  knew of this.  Now some have been on my list for a few years, and they joined her list for some apps.  All well and good I guess, so maybe a little leeway given.  But one specifically hit me because I know the person in a personal way.  They knew things and did not speak up and yet to my face on a daily basis portray themselves as a friend.  This is not a friend..this is one who likes having a good time with you, will take any help offered for their personal crisis, but cannot see that the worry you may have had over a situation could have been alleviated if they had said something.  This is almost as painful as the betrayal of the original situation.  I had a knee jerk reaction and culled half of those we had in common..won’t miss those since we didn’t interact anyway, just on apps, and I don’t play them anymore. But its the others that will take some thought and some reads to decide what to do about.  As for the one that is personally attached…that one will take some real decisions since it not only affects the social thing, but the mundane as well..  yeah yeah..life goes on and all that shit