Broken but not shattered

CRACK!!!!! The glass just seemed to appear in my hand and I threw it with as much force as I had within me.  “Feel better”? a voice behind me asked.  “No.  I fucking well don’t”.  I said. A chuckle mingled with the smell of cigar.  “Then may I suggest you avail yourself of all of these until you do feel better”, was the reply.  I turned and looked and behind me was the tallest mound of glasses I had ever seen.  O looked at him and shook my head.  “Think I need all that”? I asked.  He laughed in return and answered,”Cher I’m not sure its enough yet.  But go ahead and see if it will do”.  With a sweep of his hand, he gestured to the mountain of glass.  I turned and picked up a glass and began throwing, finding glass in my hand as soon as I threw one…Faster and faster it seemed as if there was a wind of glass blowing across the sand.  Finally when I was spent, I sat on the ground, legs crossed, hands on my chin, staring out at all the broken carnage.  “What does this do for you?”, he asked quietly.  “It releases all that chaos energy that is simmering just beneath the seams that if was not able to be used effectively with a working could harm those who could not stand or those that are innocent “.  I said softly.  “I used to do this all the time, even as a child..throw something to break the energy flow then clean it up so that I could restore center”.  “I don’t have the opportunity to do this much anymore.  Maybe that is my problem..no release”.  “Cher, your problem is that you keep it all inside.  When you are angry and working, whew! But when you are in pain, that is where you have your ‘come apart’ as you say”.  You hold it in to keep others from seeing what you perceive to be weakness, yet that reflection in the mirror tells you that there is no truth in that statement”.  He sighed…”O am looking at all the broken glassware, Cher.  Whatever shall we drink from?”, he asked in an amused voice.  I sat up straighter and surveyed the pile in front of us.  It’s broken shards catching reflection of sun here and there shining its prismatic rainbow over our heads.  I laughed.  “Well mon, you the one with the answers”, I jokingly replied.  He laughed.  “You have all the answers, Cher.  I just provide you a means to manifest them at times”.  “The glass was a nice touch”, I replied.  “Indeed.Might have to take that up myself”, he said with a chuckle.  I laughed as well because honestly I cannot see him throwing glass just to hear it break.  Besides, as he said..whatever shall we drink in?  As if I manifested it, another glass appeared in my hands.  Only this time, it was full of fragrant, spicy rum.  I breathed a calm sign and sipped , feeling the heat course down my throat to every fibre of my being.  As we sat in silence looking at the glass and drinking the rum the peace began as a rhythm spilling over us.  “Thank you”, I say quietly.  “De rien”, he said.  “So how do I go about cleaning THIS up”? I wondered.  He cocked his head and looked at me with a smile playing about his lips.  Oh.  right.  I sit my glass down and stand facing the tower of shards.  I stretch my right hand out, and with a small movement, the glass begins to sort itself, moving as in single file into a tight spiral that begins to compact tighter and tighter until it is into minuscule particles until it disappears. I smile in appreciation.  “Nice job, cher”, he says.  I nod then return to my previous seat to finish my drink.   “I will leave you in solitude.  Stay as long as you like” and with that he was gone, leaving the smell of his cigar wafting around my shoulders and a full bottle of rum beside me.  I grin at his generosity.  Yeah, it’s been a hella week, but I am still relatively in one piece and find some center coming back to me.  I pour another round and sit back and watch the sunset with the first twinkling of stars making their debut.  This was a most needed respite.  Bring on the weekend!