storm in a teacup

I’ve been to Greece. The clear blue of  the Aegean brought home to me this was the home of the gods. The birthplace of the Olympics. You could feel their presence as if they still walked the streets.

Such is the feeling I get as I now sit by a long pool.I seem to be without my cloak which is odd because I carry it all the time, much like a security blanket of a child.  But I sit now dressed in simple white toga style dress by the pool, letting my fingers drift and caress the warm water….waiting. I don’t have to wait long. Ke shows up in a blur of frenetic energy. Walking to and fro along the white marble of the pool , causing ripples to appear like a fast moving stream. All calm and stillness has evaporated.Still, I sit calmly, almost as if I have been turned into one of those Grecian statues. This infuriates Ke who continue the walking, upping the pace, speaking everything they have to say. And yet, I sit still. It is not my place to tell Kir what changes need to be made, not give permissions for what they seek. That would need the help of whatever gods they serve. Ke still channels energy, calling forth such that I am engulfed in the blue white heat and yet I am sitting as if inside a snowglobe.  The heat does not reach me, its purpose it to provoke reaction. I look sadly at Ke.  I cannot.  I shake my head. Ke howls with despair. The energy grows and I am sitting in the middle of a tempest. Buffeted by winds of flame, I can hear the cries  of “why” and “please”. Still I cannot.  If I relent, this would be the end of many things. The energy is intense. Almost more than I can handle, and probably could not if the stone I wear hadn’t recently been opened. Higher and hotter it grows and I just sit there as if I am marble.  Then I realize it has stopped and has grown quiet. I look up from where I had been doing an in depth study of my hands.  I looked directly at Ke and they say “thank you” and in a flash are gone. Silent tears flow down my face, gathering in the pool . I didn’t help. I just sat thee..What good am I if I can’t help?  The tears flow faster and I can feel where the flames have touched my body. I didnt notice it before because I was concentrating…on…wtf was I concentrating on? This whole thing has me feeling bereft, alone and pissed..yeah at a lot of things.
I awoke to the mundane sore, headache, teary eyed and feeling more than a little warm. The flames still stayed with me I guess. This will require some thought and speaking with others eventually.  Until then, I will seek solace of the solitude of shadows.