Just keep talking cause I’m not listening

Sometimes I wished I believed in Karma.  the kind that comes around and kicks someone in the teeth for the stupid shit they do and say. I believe in a cause and effect..what you do and say has ramifications, which is totally different(kind of semantic, but it works for me).  So what’s got me to this point?  Hell this week has been….well more hellacious than usual.  I got into it with my boss on Monday who implied that I don’t know how to do my job since someone whined about my handing their work back to be repaired.  Yeah, pissed me off to no end..but if there is such a thing as “karma”, then she’ll get it eventually, amiright? So today, no run ins with the boss(he has conspicuously stayed out of my little corner of the world), a friend suggests that the look on my face reminded him that I might get physical if he did not remove himself….~shrugs~ but a woman became ill today. She was in tears holding her head, little disoriented…cause for concern.  Now I know she is a little off(hell who is “normal” anyways)…but some of the women around her began laughing at the symptoms she displayed after she left to seek medical attention.   Nobody knew if she had a migraine, stroke or something else major, but these women laughed.  N These same women sit daily and have preached about god, invited people to revival, some even sing in church, and yet…they showed no compassion for someone .  Not one  What kind of faith is that?  It’s all lip service as far as I can see.  Not one of them got up and offered to comfort this woman, offer to pray for her(although they are big on openly praying in church).  They talk a good game, but then again, they are just as likely to talk about others behind their backs.  I expect it of them because I know them, know their lives, and know how imperfect it is, even though they will not admit it.  Mine isn’t either, but I don’t walk around speaking shit and expecting people to swallow it.  But these “christian” ladies are not the only ones to do this.I often hear those on pagan paths(and lets not go into that definition tonight..ya’ll are smart enough to know it, and if you don’t remember..back up a blog or two and read it again, or just forget it cause you may never truly understand it).  Now about those pagans…there are those who want to “heal the earth”, save the trees/wolves/animals, etc..whatever.  All beautiful ideas of wanting to take care of the earth.  One thought.  IF when one “heals” the earth..what do you do with the energy you remove..you know when one heals, you have to banish the negative and clear things out in order to place healing energies there.  so what ya’ll going to do with the negative?  Ground? Wait…did you not just put that back where you were putting the healing? total upset of balance in my opinion, because Gaia has been taking care of herself for a damn long time without our help.  she rearranges things as she needs to even if we do not understand the basis of her doing so.  Think of it pretty much like you clear junk out of your house and rearrange the furniture.  There may be casualties, and that is regretful, but seriously, she has things to do.  If man in his “wisdom” would stop trying to fix shit, she might not have to go back and redo it.  Why not start in your own back yard?  There are things you can do to live greener.  There are people who can use your help.  Why the need to do this on a “grand” scale?  for the attention?  Fuck that!  Be a human being for Elphalba’s sake!  Live that path you walk instead of giving it lip service.  Connect to it spiritually instead of using it as a label.  If you are going to keep on doing the same thing day in and day out, then expect those same results…Say!  Ya’ll might want to check with a psychologist cause I’ve heard that is the legal definition of crazy.  Just don’t expect me to keep listening because at this moment, I am so NOT hearing you.

 

DEUCES

I’m so persecuted…..~Whah~

I’ve run across another group page of pagans.  I use that term loosely because they obviously are one due to the fact they don’t follow any Abrahamic faith, but they aren’t like any of those I know who follow a serious path.  The “group”/page is full of those who claim to be persecuted by christians and other faiths because they are pagan.  It’s an old tune that gets played quite a bit by those who have little knowledge of how things really work.  They are the ones who shout from the rooftops that they are “pagan”, wear all the pretentious pentacles and purchase all the tools and books that people are willing to sell them.  Leaves me shaking my head. Why?  You may ask.  First let me begin by saying that in some places, I have no doubt that ignorance rears its ugly head and people are harassed  for not walking a more socially acceptable path.  But on a wide scale platform?  No.  I live in  a small southern town and if asked will tell people that I am pagan(although there are damn few of us around in this area), and while some have made silly statements about going to hell(I work there..not afraid of it), for the most part, I am not persecuted.  So back to this little group.  I read first one post, considered as a “pagan creed”.  I will tell you that pagan is an umbrella term and unless one has a definite path, how one “creed” can cover us all, I have no idea.  So here is this thing:
I am a Pagan, spoken against by Jews, Christians, Muslims and Scientist alike.

I am of the First Religion to grace the Earth, long before the idea of the “One True God” ever tainted it.

I am of the religion that does not call to kill others but simply to live and let live.

I am the worshiper of Ra and Isis and Hecate and Hades and a long list of others.

I am of the true religion of peace who would not kill you simply because you worship another god.

I am a Pagan.

I CALL BULLSHIT!!! While there are a few of those in the first group in this statement that might speak out against those who of us who do not follow a more secular faith, there are many who have a live and let live attitude to us…sort of like “let god sort it out” kind of thing.    The second statement is almost accurate.  If one considers pagans as anything not Abrahamic, then yes, pagans existed long before Christ ever came onto the scene.  Gods/goddesses existed and ritualistic beliefs were held.  The third statement is patently false because pagans killed others.  Plain and simple  history tells us of those of other faiths being killed simply because of that faith.  Christians were killed, People of other nations were killed..all because they were different.  Fourth statement is true, as far as that there is a long list of deities that some incorporate into their path.  Some just choose to work with them, others worship them and claim them as protectors. Last statement is again Bullshit.  Same as the third one..we know that pagans killed others because of their faith.  Carthaginians killed others who were not of their faith, hell they even killed their children to offer to the gods without a whimper, so don’t tell me that pagans are all this love and light bullshit.  Read some damn history!

Apparently I am not the only one to comment about the “us vs them”  mentality, because they again posted a long post decrying the bullying of those who don’t understand.  That they were not espousing “hate” but posting a positive pagan statement.  They equate it with racism that if a black person said something, and a white person said the same..it would be construed as racist on the part of the white person.  ~cough~ excuse me while I gag on the bullshit in that statement.  Apparently according to the writer of the statements, its perfectly okay to abuse, revile, and otherwise puke on other faiths because according to him,  “paganism  is a true religion of peace”.~HEADDESK~ First, as I think I’ve explained before….Pagan covers a lot of ground.  ANY faith that is not of the Abrahamic ones are considered pagan, because they don’t follow christ.  Paganism is NOT a religion.  And I think I have stated above that a majority of those that followed what was/is considered  a pagan path are/were anything but peace loving.  He then goes off on a tangent of how King Josiah from the Bible killed pagans  and destroyed temples.  Well, obviously there were things done, but it was definitely a two-way street on that one.  He tries to use this as a basis for wiccans/pagans(yeah he differentiates) not being taken seriously.  Really.  Can you tell me why there are many in the pagan community who are highly respected even by those not of a pagan persuasion?  I guess its because they let themselves be bullied?  There is a difference in standing up for ones self and being an asshat, especially if one is not going to take the time to learn some damn history.  Respect for others as human beings goes a long way, no matter what path you’re on.  It’s those similar in nature of those of this particular page/group that give others a bad name.  it makes people want to lump us all into the same pile of shit, and I have to tell ya’ll..it ain’t happening to this witch.  I will continue to speak out for those who need a little back up, no matter what they believe.  I will also call out those who continue to spread their brand of bullshit that wants to tar us all with the same brush.
So for the idiots(yeah I’m name calling because their ignorance warrants it)….crack open a damn history book.  Specifically read about the Gauls, the Romans and the Greeks…can toss in some of the Egyptian as well…all those deities you mentioned..they all have a real affinity for persecuting and killing those who did not believe as they did and sacrificed them to their gods.  And stop spouting as truth, stupid asinine statements about paganism being a religion of peace…it’s not a religion, never was….EVER. Get it right or just better yet(and I personally prefer this one) STFU!!!!!!

Roots

I’ve been in among the group pages today, reading some, laughing some..shaking my head at other comments.  One subject posted, was “At what age should one include children into rituals”? Personally since this is one’s spiritual path, why would you not include them as they come into the world?  I’ve heard all the arguments both for and against at not wanting to prejudice your child against any other faith, but here is my thinking.  In secular faiths, that child is inundated with aspects  of that faith from birth.  Catholics have christenings, Jews have formal naming ceremonies as well as a bris for the boys(  girls are welcomed into the Jewish community  in synagogue as her father reads from the Torah).  Even in other faiths, children are welcomed into the faith from birth, taught the tenets of their particular beliefs. Going to church immediately to be welcomed with love and joy.  So why do I hear so much from  pagan people  who are acting as if they cannot do this with their own children?  Is it because they feel that because it isn’t a widely accepted path that they don’t want to make their child feel as an outsider when they are in social settings?  Life is difficult enough for kids without adding the stigma of being “different” I’ll admit, but seriously.  They grow up knowing what you believe if you are truly walking a pagan path.  It will be in literature, books around your home,  tools you may own or use. You will speak openly with others about it, and you will practice some element of it every day.  If you don’t do ANY of those very basic things I just mentioned…you are a fraud(imho).  Your path is a representation of who you are.  It comes from your very core and is what feeds the spirit.  If that is not why you walk a path..then you need to check the mirror.  We all should be honest with ourselves about why we walk the path at all.  So I have trouble wrapping my head around as to why one would not want to teach your child your faith instead of keeping it wrapped in secrecy as if you are ashamed of it.  I understand if you are going to a circle/ritual elsewhere with others who may not practice exactly as you do.  But it’s been my experience that most groups always have special things planned for children that will not take away from the adults in their working.  So how does one know when to include a child in those circumstances?  I think it comes down to the child, how much you have taught then, how mature they are and what they understand, as well as to how the ritual is going to be conducted.  I believe that children should be excluded from skyclad gatherings, as well as rituals that will offer blood offerings.  For me it’s personal thing. .. children don’t usually understand the nuances there and it could be frightening as well.  But for any other than that, I don’t see the need to exclude them from group gatherings. Circling would be different for me(but then I am picky as to whom I join that energy with), and some groups also choose to not allow children, and that is their choice.
The reason I prefer children to be involved from the beginning is it gives them roots.  They know who they are, where they come from. All children need to know this.  Even if they do not follow the path/faith of their family(and there are many of us who do this), they at least will have some understanding of the family dynamics.  So when people start talking about how they don’t want to “influence” their kids, I want to smack them…because everything we do influences them.  We are the examples.  We show them how to treat people, how to make intelligent decisions(and if you don’t..shame on you and get to work on that!).  We need to stop with the rhetoric of “not influencing” our children’s beliefs because if you don’t someone else will(and you will have noone to blame for that mess but yourself).  It’s not wrong to want our children to make their own choices, because we encourage them in independent thinking.  That independent thinking  is why many of us walk as we do.  What we need to do is provide a little ground work with education and provide some insight as to why we walk as we do so they will be able to make a balanced decision.  Hiding what we do, what we believe makes them feels as if there is some great secret that should be kept or that it’s wrong.  That isn’t the message we need to give to them.  So however you believe, however you practice, My advice is to keep your children involved, and informed.  They might surprise you at how much they already know.

 

Rag doll

Ever had a song get stuck in your head?  Like for days?  I’ve been catching myself singing/whistling/humming Aerosmith’s Rag Doll.  Probably not for the reason you think, although I love the band and their music.  The reason? I have had rag dolls on my mind as of late.  I work with them quite often.  I can see the wheels turning now.  What do you do with them?  Aren’t they supposed to be evil and full of malice?  Well……yes and no.  First, I don’t use subjective terms in relation to my magical undertakings. It all comes down to intent so depending upon whether or not I am sending healing out or kicking (yeah I do that occasionally), would determine what some would label it.  In 100 BCE, wax dolls were made of Pharaoh Ramses III  by his many enemies including women of his harem(guess they weren’t too fond of him, huh?) The ancient Greeks used sympathetic magic in love and defensive spells.. Banishings were done by using herbs like garlic or rue Some even suggest that the pins that one might use could be used similarly like acupuncture I’ve never tried that myself, but it’s interesting concept.  The dolls themselves are unique.  I make them out of various things, such as clay, soap, string, cloth, paper.  It just depends upon what I plan on doing with them after I am done with the working.  Sometimes I add herbs or taglocks, depending on what I’m doing.  So….just what am I doing?  Well, I’ve  been in the healing mode of operation lately, in the mundane and elsewhere.  So now that someone I respect can use that energy, I’ve pulled out the things to make my rag doll.  I have cloth, herbs, and something that would represent my friend(taglock).  Taglocks can be a number of things…hair, personal belongings..all those things you’ve probably seen in movies or read about somewhere.  but they can also be something as simple as writing that person’s name and tucking it inside the doll itself.  Working with the dolls themselves are not hard, but one needs to be clear about focus.  Exactly what is it you want your poppet to work on?  For myself, I NEVER do “love” workings because where is the fun in that?  One has to have free will and if you tie someone to you and then tire of them, what can you do but try to break that binding.  what a waste of energy and will be redundant in nature because if one tries it once and it is successful(for the time that they used it) then they will try it again.   Why not do something mundane say like.. Oh…..I don’t know….try and work on the relationship like everyone else does. Trying to manipulate something as important as relationships goes against my personal ethics.  One has to be specific in wording. of your intent as well.  I have a friend that I gifted some money oil.  She asked for more money.  Yeah..now she is working her ass off at both of her jobs.  She should have been more specific like she wanted a certain amount of money all at once, or win the lottery, but she wasnt and is now being afforded the opportunity to have more hours on her jobs and earn more money.  Yep…Need to be specific in that wording.  So what to use for the healing working I have in mind?  Pine, lemon balm, carnation, ivy are some herbs to consider.  Other herbs that one prefers can be used that hold healing properties can work as well.  I would use white cloth since its neutral, and many think of it as “good”…yeah I know..there’s that subjective label again, but once in awhile I roll with those that are tagged with it.  And of course my taglock.  I work alone, and while I tell you (as in this case) that I am working.  The how’s and what it all entails are kept private.  Not because I think its some big secret that only the “elite” should know, but because this is a personal thing for me.  It requires a lot of energy, and a lot of focus, and if you’ve never done it before, then its not as easy as one might think.  I know a lot of people out there want to make it sound as if its something scary(ghost stories?  really?).  But it only scares those with no real knowledge about workings in general.  My suggestion is to start small, maybe make you a small string dolly to carry around with you for money, good fortune and see how that feels, than move on to the heavier stuff.  I’ve been doing this a long time, so don’t think too hard about how or why I am working…just that I need to do so. So little rag doll, here I come to play and we’ll send healing energy on its way.

DEUCES

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who needs calgon? I’ll settle for some first class alcohol!!!

Ok. I’ll admit it.  I’ve been beyond a little snarky the past few days.  It’s hard to just pinpoint it on one thing really.  it could be a combination of things.  I’m trying to quit the diet cokes/  they aren’t really healthy, have way too much caffeine than is good for me, and tea/water and any other drink really is better for me.  It’s hard really because they are my drink of choice during the day. So as anyone who had had to cut down/off the caffeine can attest..one can get down right irritable.  The week in hell has been damned long.  I’m behind from last week due to yet more machine issues…Three fucking weeks worth of machine break downs!!! WTH?  And the job behind me caught up and so decided to play snatch and grab til I behaved like …well like the bitchy witch that I am I guess…Today was better.  The machine is finally fixed and I rolled as I usually do, so pleased to be able to have some breathing room. Let’s just say that I am glad that today is Friday and I don’t have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn and go anywhere for the next two days.  And I wasn’t provided an opportunity to tell my youngest grandson happy birthday or send him his gift because his mother is still not behaving the way she was brought up.  Yeah, sometimes one earns that damn kick when it hits just right.  Just saying. So then I decide to chill on FB checking in on some of the discussions in various groups.  One conversation caught my eye.  It was about what makes something right.  The obvious turn came to religious beliefs as it usually does.  Conversations began with bashing of various faiths because they didnt make sense to people, like Scientology or Mormonism.  The wearing of burkas for Muslim women.  Personally, I care less about faiths that make no sense, because truthfully, my path only applies to myself and for someone else to get it,….they wouldn’t.  Others in the conversation had to go on about them because being Wiccan, they are of such “ancient” ways.  Yeah, I call BULLSHIT. If they believe they are any more ancient that those they are dissing, I have some swampland that they are more than welcome to buy.  Yet they felt the need to explain that people tend to associate with others that have similar ones.  I know the psychology of like attracting like. The law of Attraction is scientifically proven.  BUT, not everyone are sheep.  Majority of us do tend to associate with those who hold similar moral tenets, they don’t have to hold the same interpersonal beliefs.  I think it would quite boring to have no diversity in our lives, which in my friends list is quite varied.  We don’t all hold the same thoughts on big discussion subjects, like abortion, spanking kids or faith, but that’s what makes it a damned interesting mix.  One woman decided that I seemed decent person so would not associate with murderers or rapists(that last one would depend on legal definition for me personally, because under the law, its not all cut and dried)…but she presumed to place her own ideals on me.  When I voiced my opinion, she “assumed” I meant she was a love and light kind of girl, which kind of set me off, because I did not mention her or that at all. To say I was less than kind would be an understatement.  Fortunately, I was saved from deletion by others who know how I can be, and have moved on.  Added to the mix is that manic man is not feeling well.  He is weak and little disoriented.  Sounds like my weekend will be spent in urgent care to make sure its not serious health issue.  Sometimes I think my whole life is like the FML app on iphone.  And the icing on the cake?  Yeah there is one.  A dear friend..one who’s knowledge I respect greatly and who makes me laugh when I really dont want to(like now) is in ICU very ill.  So I’m done whining…I plan on being constructive, and stop dwelling on my pitiful existence that amounts to fuck all when he needs the help.  Time to do what I do well.

 

DEUCES

Friends….finally?

RING!!!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me? AGAIN?!?  I open my eyes to see the elf standing yet again in my room.  “I thought we were done with this shit”, I tell him crossly.  “My apologies”, he tells me, “but I need your help”.  I get a really good look at him now.  Standing tall in the half shadow, I look at him, his  eyes wild, hair tangled, and…”Is that blood I see on you?” I ask.  “I need your help Shae”, he repeats.  I get up and start toward him.  “Fine, let me look”.  “It’s not for me”, he tells me.  Not for him, I think..then who? “Will you come with me?” he asks.  I dress and tell him that I need to know what help is required if I need to bring other things.  “I need a healer”, he says.  I nod and begin the sorting of herbs, and other assorted things I would need and place them all in my traveling bag.  “I am ready”, I tell him.  A huge blue portal opens and he motions for me to go through it.  I think to myself that I have to be one of the craziest witches I know going places with strange folk.  But I walk through the opening and find myself in shadow.  Not the ones of ghede, that although are bone chilling cold, they  feel inviting.  Nor the ones that feel warm and comforting to me like the swamp, but this is one where I can see distant images of trees through the mist of darkness and it feels menacing as if it knows that I am an interloper.  I pull my cloak closer to me and grip my bag firmly as if to reassure myself that I will be fine.  Corwvyn is soon beside me and leads the way.  We walk for awhile and finally come to a huge tree.
Remembering the one from the spiders, I am not surprised to find that we are going inside the trunk.  The Elf touches a place on the trunk and an opening appears and he again motions that I should go first, which I do.  I enter a fairly good sized room which has a table and chairs, a fireplace  on one wall and a bed.  It is to the bed that he goes and speaks to the one lying there.  Another elf, I think to myself…GREAT.  “I brought the witch for you Daeg”, he speaks softly.  “She can help you”.  Daeg nods, and I move next to Corwvyn and see that this elf is very hurt.  Almost as if he  knows I am there, he opens his eyes and I can see how this came to be.  His green eyes are mirrors that tell me everything of the battle that is still raging and how he was injured trying to save his friend.  I shield myself against his pain because it is too much for even me to bear.  I speak softly to Corwvyn.  “I need some hot water  and more light so that I may see to his wounds”.  The fire is lit and water begins to boil in the cauldron.  I open my bag and begin to pull out herbs, moss and bandages.  I pull one of the chairs next to the bed, and pour water into a small bowl.  I remove the blood soaked bandage from Daeg and assess the damage.  What I see leaves me shaking because it is indeed massive and deep. ” I am limited” I tell him, “in what I can do, but I will try to ease you some”.  He closes his eyes and nods.  I begin to clean the wound gently and as I do I can hear the crash of battle around us.It is so loud that the tree shakes even though it is massive.  I jump and look around.  “It sounds closer than it really is” says Daeg gently.  I laugh.  “you are injured and yet seek to comfort me.  Sweet”.  I find that for the intrusion, I like the elves.  I begin to make  a salve with the herbs, and place it on the wound and bandage it with care.  I make a tea with the other herbs in my bag and have Daeg drink it.  “It will help with the pain”, I tell him.  He drinks it slowly and the door opens and yet another elf comes through.  Seeing me, he stops short.  “What is she doing here?” he demands to know.  I turn to look at him, and dismiss him as immaterial to what I am doing.  Seeing my slight, he begins to get louder.  “I said, WHAT is she doing here?” “Oh for the love of Elphaba!”, I whirl around and yell at him.  “Will you stop all the damn yelling? I am here because my friend asked for my assistance and I came to give it”.  He looks at me as if I have grown another head that I would dare yell at him, while Corwvyn grins at my sarcastic response.  “You heard the lady”, he says.  “I asked for her help and she agreed to come help me”.  The yelling elf looks at Daeg.  “And what if you get gangrene from accepting this witch’s magic?” he asks.  Daeg looks down at the neatly bandaged wound and looks back at “screamer”(I don’t know his name but this is what I tagged him with) and says,”I went to ‘healer’ and have spent two whole days and nights trying to decide if the pain was worth my life.  Less than an hour has passed and I am no longer in pain and the wound feels better.  I would say that is a much better improvement, so I cast my vote for the witch”.  He closes his eyes again and smiles.  Obviously this is not what screamer wants to hear, so he turns to Corwvyn and says.  “She needs to leave and soon for her own safety”.  Corwvyn agrees, which kind of surprises me but then there is much going on in their battle that I don’t know about.  I gather my things, and leave herbs for them to use, explaining to him what each is for.  Corwvyn listens intently and thanks me for leaving them.  I go to the bed and say my goodbys to Daeg.  “Thank you for coming, and for the help”, he says.  “I will not forget”.  “Take care of yourself” I say gently.  I turn and gather my cloak and bag…”I’m ready”, I tell the elf.  As we leave the tree, there is a vehicle there.  It is a cross between a jeep and a tank..massive.  “We will take this”, he says.  “it’s faster”.  OMDamn! Fast was so not the word for this thing.  We zipped along like we moved at the speed of light.  Soon we came to a clearing and the elf geared down to stop.  “Why are we stopping here?” I ask.  Corwvyn motions with his head and I turn to look.  There in the clearing stood George with the huge black dog from Maman’s as well as Brin. “A welcoming committee”, I chuckle.  “I kind of made you go off grid” says Corwvyn sheepishly.  “They won’t thank me for that”.  “Fuck!.. I thought I was protected, and I wasnt?” “I protected you” he said.  So he did.  I shrug and move forward.  Brin looking very much like a worried mother hen(which is damn hard I must admit) carefully looks me over as if reassuring herself that I am well.  “My apologies” said Corwvyn.  “I needed her assistance and she agreed to come”.  George looks at me crossly as if to say that we will speak on this later(yeah so looking forward to that one)m but it is to Corwvyn that he speaks to.  “I will ride back with you”.  Corwvyn nods, then turns to me.  “I thank you for your help tonight.  If ever there is a time when I can also repay the favor, just call”.  Then he leans forward and kisses my cheek.  With a wink he returns to the vehicle which George and the dog have already gotten into and with a flash it is gone, leaving me standing with Brin.  We move back through the portal with Brin hovering close.  “I am sorry that you were worried”, I tell her.  “I will try to warn you before I move off grid again”.  Brin arches an eyebrow at me as if to say there had better not be a next time, but ya’ll know how I am about rules, even those regarding my personal safety,lol.  I undress and put the bag back into my closet.  I get into bed, suddenly exhausted.  These trips into elsewhere take a lot out of me I think.  I’m getting too old for such shit .  that makes me chuckle because in the elsewhere I dont feel that way at all. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep…no dreams, but real rest until the mundane chirping of the alarm goes off signaling the start of a new day. I awake and think of the night…Crazy shit I think…And interesting friends to hang out with..Friends?  yeah, I think I might actually have to include them as such…I laugh and shake my head.  I swear I think this might be another sign of the coming apocalypse.

 

DEUCES

Renewal comes in strange ways

So yesterday was a rough day for me.  Other members of the tribe had things going on causing them stress and because we are closely affiliated, I get reverb which in turn kind of causes me to have my own meltdown of sorts.  I try to keep it quiet as I can so as not to knock all of us off the web, but even I am not immune to whining.  So eventually, I kind of pull it together, hang for a bit with other wyrd witches , and when I finally pull the plug, I am ready to sleep.  Yeah, I should have known that sleeping is the last thing I will be allowed to do.  I am soon aware that I am lying in a glade somewhere..not my usual haunt where Brin and I spend time, but a different spot.I am trying to find a comfortable spot, trying to fluff the pillow under my head, and when it moves, I realize that it is no pillow.  I sit up and look around, and there is George!  Now what am I doing lying in a strange glade using a snarky spider as a pillow, I think to myself.  “You needed the rest, cher”, George tells me. I nod and lie back down, looking up at the stars.  Odd, I think…I don’t ever seem to see him except in the dark.  George chuckles..”people would not be receptive to seeing me otherwise,Cher” he says.  I have to agree with that.  He continues speaking as I continue to check out the diamond studded sky.  “you’ve been sick this week, and let down you shields. It cost you today.”, “You mean it wasn’t a good time for me to spiral out?” I ask.  “That snark won’t work on me”, he tells me a little testily. “You know damn well that it costs you time because you have to regroup before moving on”.  “George”, I say gently,”sometimes in the aftermath of that spiral, I find nuggets of information about myself that I might have overlooked.  Yes, the meltdown is intensely painful.  I try to only harm myself. But I made it through, and while am still saddened over some issues, I will live to fight another day”.  George sighs.  “I brought you here to recharge.  Lie back and let the earth do its magic”.  I chuckle at the thought of this giant being telling me how to heal myself for I’ve always found a way to do so long before I met him, and yet I do as he asks, and lie back. I feel the short hairs on his back against my neck and appreciate that for all his own snarkiness, he has gone out of his way to be worried for and about me.  “George”, I say softly. “Thank you for reaching out to me.  For caring when I felt like nobody else did”.  “Most welcome, Cher. I owe you anyways”.  What does he owe me for, I wonder, then smile because a certain elf come to mind as he is the one who brought him to my door.  I had forgotten that..whoops, there goes a shot to the ego for said elf, I chuckle.  George laughs.  “I won’t tell him you don’t remember his name” he says.  “Oh I remember it “,I tell him, “but seems as if when I say it he appears like some other mythological being from a fairy tale,  so I choose to NOT say it”.  We both laugh, then quietly lie there and then I begin to feel it…..vibration.  It’s coming from the earth we lay on.  Soon I can hear it as well, it starts small, but soon I can tell the difference between a hum and the drum beat, moving in, around, through me.  It’s a rhythm older than time, one that I know from somewhere deep in my spirit.  It seems to fill me, toughing the innermost parts of my being.  Removing shadows, casting light into the corners. This space is healing my very soul.  I turn my head to look at George’s face, who looks at me, and reaches out to stroke my hair.  “Let it continue to move, Cher.  You hold too much inside you and you need to let some things go.”.  I nod, then I close my eyes, and allow the song of the earth fill me.  I smell the damp clay that has been with me since I learned to walk this path.  It is Ghede.  One foot on either side, I am able to see, hear, speak, smell, and yet am not afraid.  Maybe I don’t have the sense to be..maybe I learned a long time ago that respect from both sides is what was always needed.  Whatever it is, it has brought me into contact with those I needed to speak with.  I feel the drums begin to beat, my pulse seeming to move in time with the rhythm.  this too has been with me although for the life of me I cannot tell you why.  It is what it is I guess.  I’ve long ago decided not to question why some things are as they are and to move on using it as a tool for help.  the drums work as I work, so they are an integral part of me. Their song can calm me, inspire me, lift me when I need them to.  I smile and just lay there thinking about how blessed I really am at being able to find sanctuary when I thought the whole day had dissolved into madness.”I will go see Maman later this week”, I tell George.  He nods.  “I thought as much”, he tells me.  “There are some recipes I need and a conversation long past due”.  He laughs.  “She will help you as she always does”, he tells me needlessly.  This too I know for she has always been.  She is as much a part of me as anything else I carry in my path.  Providing needed information, sanctuary, respite from my inner demons.  I am lying on the ground, melding into the clay beneath me.  a part of the earth and yet not.  Part of the rhythm of sound that fills the void of spirit, and yet separate.  Some would probably think I slipped over the precipice down into the dark abysss, but I am comfortable where I am…and who I am with.   Yeah George has provided a renewal of sorts to me.  He didn’t have to do that, and if I try to offer any more than the thanks I have already give I will offend him.  Of this I am sure, since this is NOT his usual way of dealing with me.   I awakened this morning with slight headache which is usually the norm when I am elsewhere traveling in dream state.  But I also am more relaxed than I have been this week.  So at the risk of getting smacked later….Thanks again George.

 

DEUCES

Where’s the proof?

What do you believe? Do you have patron deity/entity that you follow? Do they really exist?  Where is the proof?  For the majority of people proving god is difficult indeed.  For after all, for many it’s a matter of “faith”..the belief in things not seen.  There have been some interesting topics of conversation lately among friends, and others about what constitutes proof of our beliefs.  Some have suggested that if one believes in certain things, then one needs to prove that belief, and if they cannot, they cannot possibly be real . But I wonder how that can be a justifiable assertion.  Most of us follow paths that have no basis in a set construct. Some gods/goddesses are the things told and retold in myths, legends.   Even those who follow a more societal form of faith cannot prove god, yet follow with faith(some more blind than others),  have books that tell how their faith was developed(with a little editing by man).  Even paths that have a set structure, developed by others, have little basis of deity.  So the majority would fall under UPG.  So why would you demand that people “prove” their god(s)? To prove superiority?  Although to be honest, if we can’t really prove ours, then how can we then be superior?To prove those who add in some fluffiness which leave us shaking our heads are inferior to our path/way of doing things/?  While many in the pagan paths have an affinity to animal totems, not a lot of them feel the need to announce that they are in fact a wolf,dragon, -insert endless list here).  That role is mostly for those with little or no experience or research into their own path.  They feel no need to do a little research into history to see the basis of any path they might choose to follow(can actually say this about a lot of people no matter the path they follow whether it’s pagan or secular).  Many began the “otherkin” based upon RP gaming and its continued on into present day paganism.  It’s one thing to claim totems, quite another to claim to be one.  It’s probably one of the most troubling thing for me as a pagan  that people don’t understand the concept of how that fits in.  Not all follow a part of a path that adds totems, so it’s not difficult to understand other’s confusion.  But to demand proof from them when they clearly need educated (without elitist positioning from others)to me is more than a little close minded.  The thing about paganism is that we don’t all fit into the same mold.  We each shape our world and views based upon our own perspectives and the reality of our lives as we live it.  So demanding that others adhere to our way of thinking kind of defeats the purpose of being a pagan since one of the main things is the freedom to believe and worship as we choose.  It’s why so many leave the rule-filled dogma ed structured life of secular faiths.  They feel stifled and less connected to god by having to obey so many rules or edicts from the pulpit.  Most of us strive to find a way to connect spiritually, whether we acknowledge deity or not.  We should not have to “prove” to anyone where our connection comes from, why we believe as we do or how it benefits us.  I get tired of those that demand proof.  All anyone really needs to know about my personal path is that it provides me a spirituality that helps keep me centered. It gives me a way to find solace in a crazy world that sometimes has me running ragged.  I have deity that I do connect with.  They provide me with an example in making my personal path work for me.  Would it do so for others?  Maybe. It depends upon where they are coming from since this has been cobbled together based upon heritage, familial connections as well as seeking knowledge through teachers(some who taught me intentionally and some who did not), books and talking with others, even if we don’t all have the same path.  So if one expects proof from me, they will be S.O.L.  It’s not how I operate.  I am who I am, a perfectly happy, opinionated witch, and nobody else’s approval counts or is necessary for me to  feel comfortable on my path as it sits now.  I hope that everyone else can say the same for themselves because if they can’t, they have plenty more work to do…on themselves. Your path begins and ends with you.

DEUCES

Lessons from the dreamlife

Dreams have been used since the dawn of time to teach lessons, to give insight into situations, to guide the dreamer into the direction they must travel.  Some see them as things to be feared.  Nightmares haunt some.  But if one dissects them and checks the symbolism located there, you will find that it’s not all as you believed it to be, but truth that is trying to be conveyed on certain subjects.  Dreams have even been spoken about in the holiest of books in some faith, the Bible, the Torah, the Koran.  They were used for teaching, foretelling of things to come.  And if we use ours that way, they too can teach us a great many things.

I know that people have to wonder sometimes when they read my blogs about dreams.  They are filled with imagery that doesn’t fit into the mundane nor do the animals/people/otherkin  seemingly exist  outside of otherworld to others.  It reads like some odd sci fi book to some.  They don’t understand them and I get asked quite often  if I am mad.  Nope.  I consider myself to be quite sane, almost analytic to a fault sometimes in my read on the here and now.  I consider madness in the mundane to be something akin to spending more than you have for appearance sake, tossing those who love you and helped you all your life because of some assinine jackal who has no concept of what that means.  Those are mad actions because why would a sane person do that?  Madness is the repetitive behavior of constantly running on that wheel chasing physical, material things that never seem to fill the void you feel within.  My dreams make perfect sense to me.  They take me to places of sanctuary more often than not because the mundane I am in currently is filled with drama, stress and physical ailments, while in the otherworld, I am soothed, spoken to as an equal, chided lovingly and taught a great many things that are helpful when I am pulled back into this corporeal existence.  Sometimes the dreams themselves are lessons to make me think about how I look at a situation or a solution as to how I can change it.  Who doesn’t need that?  Dreams are not always meant to be concrete and tidy…sometimes they are open ended much like life.  Things change from minute to minute and the solution can change with it.  I get asked sometimes how I come to find myself speaking with giant technicolored spiders, swamp witches, Ghede, and shape shifting dragons..simple answer is I am not often sure myself.  But they are as tangible to me as the keys I touch as I write.  The love and laughter shared there are often a relief to the stress and tears I shed  when faced with situations in a more physical realm.  Although to be honest, for me the otherworld is just as a physical reality as that in which I find myself at the moment.   I write out the things I encounter because they give me a way to record details, to be able to go back and read again and remember conversations and pull out the gems I find there that help me.  Does it make me crazy?  I guess it depends on who’s definition we’re going with.  Some might find them absurd, and I might give them that because I have to say the first time I met George, I wondered to myself if I was losing my marbles as well.  But he exists, and has found his way into interacting with others I know which could be a mass hypnosis kind of thing I guess, if one  was to ask those learned professionals with the white coats.  But we care less about what they think.  They went to school to push meds and tell people they’re mentally unstable.  It’s what they do.  I and others like me recognize the fine line between dream state and madness  Sometimes walking that edge above the abyss can be tricky.  but it’s also necessary for our well being.  It’s part of who we are and gives us a better insight as to how to react to the stupidity of those in life we live.  So go ahead and think I’m a little off kilter if you like.  I like myself this way.  After all, Alice herself would not have learned so much herself is she hadn’t been curious enough to chase the rabbit down a hole.  Ya’ll might want to try a little of that yourself.  Going through the mirror is easy enough process.  It’s the application of the lessons that takes work.  Dream On

DEUCES

SNARK CLUB

Number one rule of SNARK CLUB.  There is NO Snark club.

Number two rule of SNARK CLUB. Never talk about SNARK CLUB.

Number three rule of SNARK CLUB. If someone cries or essentially just curls up in a corner after being exposed to the snark, it’s time to move on because there is essentially no entertainment value there.

Number four rule of SNARK CLUB . Don’t overload the conversation with snark.  While sarcasm and snarkiness have their place, too much of a good thing just crates a fight when a good snarky comment would have sufficed.

Number five rule of SNARK CLUB. If you have one conversation going, stick with it.  Sometimes it’s tempting to try and take one more than one conversation, but in the end, the snark becomes stale and ends up being a rehash of both conversations.  One cannot mix potatoes and grapes after all(unless you are making latkes and drinking wine, then its perfectly acceptable).

Number six rule of SNARK CLUB. Bare knuckles is all that is required to be a confident snark master.  Gritty truth wrapped in a little sarcastic humor goes a long way to saying what is needing to be said.

Number seven rule of SNARK CLUB. Snarky comments WILL be the norm.  It’s in our nature and by damn we WILL unload our brand of truth/humor upon the masses even if it kills them!

Number 8 rule of SNARK CLUB. If this is your first time visiting our little establishment, You MUST post a snarky comment, or you will live to regret it…maybe.

DEUCES