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“I thought I was supposed to stay put”, I said to George as I followed him.  “Someone wants to meet you”, he said.  Oh..someone wants to meet me..wait..what?  Who wants to meet me? I wondered.  George did not answer just kept walking down the path.  I sighed.. Yeah no use asking him 10001 questions because that is one taciturn spider and he will reveal only when he is damn good and ready.  Soon we arrive at a familiar spot. Crossing the bridge to the enormous tree where the spiders reside I slide a sideways glance at George who says nothing.  I shrug and follow him into the tree and down the long flight of stairs.  “I always feel like Alice” I say out loud.  To be stating that I’m speaking to George would be silly really because he seems only intent on our errand and not in conversing.  But I am surprised when he chuckles and replies”stay out of the rabbit holes”.   Well what do you know..a sense of humor! I smile and follow him down and soon we reach the bottom.  I blink as we step out as my eyes become accustomed to the brightness, and see several that I know well. They come to greet us  and we exchange pleasantries.  George waits a bit, then says we must be on our way, and we walk toward the weaving hut.  Wait.  I’m weaving?  George opens the door and we walk inside where master weavers are already at work.  One comes to me and she and George speak  together, then they lead me to a loom in the corner.  “I will be back in awhile”, says George then he leaves.  Just like that.  Well fuck! The spider left with me introduces herself.. “My name is Chantrelle.  I will be your instructor today.” She begins to gather threads for the loom.  Light, almost airy, silver. Iridescent web-like  threads that seem so fragile that if one but breathed on them, they would disappear, and yet as I held them, I feel their strength vibrate and smile at their deceptive looks.   Chantrelle shows me how to add the threads, and move the shuttle in and out and around in an intricate panel.  Jebus, I think to myself.  I am not sure I will learn how to do this one.  Chantrelle smiles at me and reassures me that I will indeed learn to weave it.  “Just practice with it and I’ll be back to check on you”, she says.  So I sit and try to replicate  what I have been shown.  Soon I have a hopeless mess of knots.  I sigh heavily. ” I cannot do this” I say aloud.  “Nonsense child”, says a voice behind me. I turn and see her.  Grandmere Spider.  I have no words because I am in such awe.  I never thought that I would ever meet her.  Hell truth be known, I never thought I’d meet half of those I have, but to meet influential ones..that always blows my mind.  I bow..”It is an honor to meet you Grandmere”, I say.  She laughs.  “I can say the same, walker of the worlds”.  “Now, lets attend to these knots”, and she turns and miraculously untangles all I have done wrong.  “The pattern is a similar one that you already use, but has a couple new twists”.  Slowly, she takes my hands and places the shuttle in one and instructs me deliberately and patiently .  I move the shuttle in and around, and up, down then through as she instructs and before us appears the most perfect star…OMG! I actually did it! I am so excited that I want to jump up and down and laugh, but how would that look to the Grandmother of spiders? Grandmere laughs.  “You did well.  Now we need to finish the work”.  I continue the pattern, marveling over the gossamer texture and the steel resolve of the pattern within.  As I move, making the web grow, Chantrell comes back.  “My apologies Grandmere”, she says.  “I should not have neglected my post”.  Grandmere brushes her off.  “I will instruct from now on”, she says.  “She has a knack for the loom and the web sings from her hands”.  Chantrelle moves away and I can see her looking a little confused, but hey, who is gonna argue with the spider in charge right?  All too soon, I am finished with the web itself.  Grandmere helps me remove it from the loom and we hang it on the wall hooks to admire it.  “It’s beautiful”, I say.  And it is.  It seems to shine with a light of its own as if the stars themselves twinkle within the web.  “You did well Cher”, says Grandmere.  George returns and bows as he notices who is with me.  “I have come to collect my charge”, he says “Take good care of her George, and make sure that she returns often.  she and I have a lot to discuss”.  I bid Grandmere adieu and George carries the web.  We make our way toward the staircase and while I am usually the one with questions, I find that it is George who has them this time.  So I explain how I came to have an expert web spinner become my instructor and the pattern she taught me.  We reach the top of the stairs and we find Brin waiting for us.  George hands her the web and we start toward the glade.  I turn and wave good-by to George, who returns the wave then moves on to the shadows.  Brin helps me hang the web and as I sit by the fire, I lie back and admire my work.  The web adds a new depth and has new meaning. Now I just have to pay attention to those who would explain that.

Validation.  Big word with intense meanings…something that corroborates a held belief,thought or action, to officially sanction it as correct response or action.
Personally, I look for validations when I’m working or from my guides that what I’m doing is correct or will have the desired results I intended. I do NOT look for it from others.  Why is that you may ask(and I know the couple readers who follow here probably will). It’s because I refuse to allow others to define who I am.  I look in the mirror every day-not for long I’ll admit since I dislike physical flaws that I KNOW are there ,lol.  So what do I see? A woman who has aged, not always gracefully, but that has gained in knowledge about just how strong she is, and can be again when the need arises.I see a person who shares her compassion with others, teaches life lessons to those who require them, and enjoys life as the journey it should be.  I also know my limitations.  I cannot change everything or everyone.  Some people will choose to remain ignorant no matter how many pearls are placed before them.  Those are the people who will be used as slag when the road to knowledge is constructed….trodden underfoot and mired in the mud and grit because of their willful ignorance.  But it’s those willfully ignorant people that frustrate the hell out of me.  They wear their ignorance like its a badge of honor-“we act like this because it’s expected of us, so we behave in a way that makes others laugh with us” .Wait.  What!?!?!?  You act STUPID because   OTHERS expect it of you? Why in the name of the gods would ANYONE let others use their bias and closed minds  to validate them? How does that benefit you? Does it help you grow spiritually? As a human being? I swear it’s enough to make one want to bang your head repeatedly until it explodes.  Nothing less than pain can remove that ignorance from your eyesight or hearing. All this “dumbing down” has got to stop.  It does nothing to further the education needed to make the right choices in our lives.  We as human beings have an immutable right to choose our own destiny, and frankly this crap of reality TV  does nothing to prove that people are taking advantage of that.  Why would one want to limit themselves to playing “Bojangles” to validate what others perceive them to be or deem they are only fit to be? How fucked up is that? Jebus, the number of people walking the earth who’ve grown up thinking they are less than their worth is almost innumerable.  You’re too fat/too skinny, too tall/ too short, too ugly/ too pretty,too stupid/too smart, too black/too white, ..the list is way too long to list here, but ya’ll get my drift.  Why let others define your worth?  Why let them pick what path you set your feet to?
The way I see it, is that this is dangerous thinking.  You begin by believing what others believe you to be and when the time comes for your voice to be heard ..NEEDS to be heard..you cannot speak.  This is what gets humanity into a world of hurt and causes history to be repeated across the board.  I hear people say “I can’t afford education”..really?  REALLY?  Open your ignorant eyes.  Education is all around you, free for the taking.  See that man over there tending the yard? Know what he’s really doing?  Taking his mind elsewhere from the day to day mundane problems, and feeling the earth..reconnecting, filling his spirit with something other than the bullshit handed out on every street corner.  See the woman in the corner knitting?  Guess what she is doing?  Observing humanity.  Removing herself from negative that flows from others and finding a calm place within herself in order to be able to face the other issues once she goes about her daily life.  Education doesn’t just come from books you know.  It’s from observation, finding those examples  that show us how to tap into creativity, a way to reconnect to that center we all hold.  It comes from living life , taking each day as it comes, reaching out for the promise held there and working through the obstacles that will invariably arise.  Don’t think because you are out of school, never finished school or hadn’t the opportunity to further your education that you cannot learn something every day.  Most of all, do not believe others when their image of you falls short of the one you hold within your heart…they’re wrong ! So go forth and educate yourself.  Stop thinking that you have to act like their views.  Become who you were destined to be.  It’s not as bad as you’ve been led to believe.

So social media has rage triggers for me, most of which I am proud to say I can walk away from, or find a way to channel it elsewhere.  Other times…well…not so much. Such as today.

In a pagan group I am a member of, I was reading where someone had had one of “those” type people come to her door with a small child and prompted him to give her one of their religious pamphlets.  She politely tells him “no thank you”   and closes the door.  Others have commented that they would offer pagan literature to said child, although they played it off as a joke.  My question is what pagan literature?  Many things written out there, so what would one offer as truth about an umbrella term that covers lot of traditions and faiths? Others say they would look the child in the eye and tell them “people really hate it when people such as yourself come to the door like this”.  Really?  Give the child a distorted self image of himself at 3?  Seriously..this will happen without your help as he grows into that faith …his brain washing that it is his “duty” to convert and save those who do not believe as he does. It’s what he is taught and the faith he is indoctrinated in.. Others still say they would tell the child “your mother is wrong for making you do this”.  OMDayum people! This is a small child who emulates his parents, loves them and you really want to be the asshat to tell him they are “bad”?  My problem is that some adults are focused on the child, who did nothing more ,after prompting from his mother , than to hand out a damn pamphlet.  I dont agree with the religion or its tenets, but I am almost certainly NOT going to speak to the child and tell him how stupid I find his parent for bringing him to a stranger’s doorstep..that will be reserved for them .  First, it is not their job to “save” me, no matter what lies they have been served.  Second, there is no unseen god that will reach down and protect them from harm should they find themselves on the doorstep of someone in the throes of a manic state, drug induced paranoia or worse yet, some pedophile intent on gaining that child’s trust.  This is not the 40’s..time has move on and people have no respect for one another let alone their fellow man(yes I am a cynic in that belief).  I will simply not allow their crown to gain any pearls from being berated, but simply hand them the brush that hangs by the door to wipe the dust from their feet and trouble themselves not about the condition of my soul. I get a lot of pissed off looks, but its effective.
What bothers me so much is the vitriol directed at the children  that through no fault of their own are born into faiths that require absolute obedience to family, god, cultural doctrines.  And yet other adults feel the need to judge and berate them for doing as they have been trained to do.  In this day and time, I see people who are rude to adults, but what gives one the right to be that way with children?  What gives people the right to teach their children its perfectly ok to speak rudely to their elders?  I know I’m from another time and raised with another set of manners than a lot, but elders are to be respected even if one disagrees and children are to be protected and enjoyed.  Even when they are involved in the ignorant things their parents make them do.

So be the adult.  Save your crap for the ignorant adult at the door, and do so away from the child…they are exposed to enough shit in their lives. Bid them good day and shut the door. Simple concept really, and less damage inflicted by you onto a child.

Dreams seem to be getting more physical lately..At least I feel them physically when I wake.. such is the case from last night.  My jaw is sore and my right shoulder blade feels like the knife is still there.  I got a note from a friend.  It says “Meet me“.  I know the friend, and also know the spot to meet him, so I gather my cloak and go to the In-between.  It is dark and I don’t see him as I look around when without warning, I am accosted by 5 armed men.  “Hold Swamp witch” said their leader.  “Fuck you” is my reply.  He approaches with sword in hand and at once I also call mine to me.  “You want me, this will not be easy”, I tell him.  So the dance of swords begins, I parry and thrust and it looks as if I will win this battle…until I overlook one of the other asshats and he reaches out to clock me in the jaw making me hit the ground. I remember thinking FUCK as I go down.  I wake up in a resplendent bedroom wondering where in the hell am I and what happened to my friend.  My jaw hurts and I can taste blood.  Someone will pay for that one . The door opens and in walks the Queen of my nightmares..Aaryana.  Well this explains a great deal I think to myself.  “Good , you’re awake”, she says.   “You will notice that I didn’t put you in the dungeon again since you’ve proven that would be a waste of time”, she said.”Yeah, thanks for small favors.  Just what the fuck do you want this time?”She smiled a smile that does not reach her eyes.  Cold hearted bitch, this one.  “I want us to work together”, she says.  “Not fucking likely”, I tell her.  “You have injured your people, harmed children and been vile as hell to your family.  Just what makes you think that I would work with someone such as yourself”.  She smiled that reptile smile of hers again.  “I can make some intriguing offers”, she said.  “come and walk with me”.  I move a little stiffly from where I had been sitting on the bed and leave the room with her.  As we walk through the castle, she begins telling me family history.  I do not tell her that I have heard this before from my friend, her brother, Corwvyn.  We enter the great room and she bids me to sit on the chair beside her.I do and she tends to her business with people.  I see a familiar face in the crowd.  One man is from among those rescued from the dungeon.  “What is he up to”, I think.  He seems me watching him and turns away as if to shield his face.  Then it hits me.  It is because of him that I am here.  I got no message from my friend.  I went to where few others knew of, and it is he who started this who shit pile.  I look at him and give him a look that says he will be dealt with.  He turned a shade of pale and moved from the hall quickly.  I am beginning to become impatient for this farce to end.  I don’t have long to wait.  I hear a great commotion come from the courtyard and someone runs in to tell the Queen that they are under attack.  She runs for the balcony..I run for the courtyard.  I see more familiar faces.  Dag, corwvyn and others are fighting.  Dag sees me and yells, “Fight Shae!” No need to tell me twice since I am a seriously pissed off witch, and call my sword to me.  We continue to fight until there are no more standing..there are casualties on both sides.  The Queen is more pale than at any time I have seen her.  She orders help for her men and stares at her brothers.  Dag looks at her and tells her that they will speak another time.  We all leave without being stopped which is confusing to say the least, and do not stop nor speak until we have reached the sanctuary.  Dag stops and looks at me.  “Why were you there?”, he asks severely.  “You could have cost us our surprise”.  Wait..WTF!?!? I could have cost them the advantage?  Myself who was tricked into a meeting at a spot few knew of , and I am the recipient of his anger? Oh hell the fuck no! I draw myself up as tall as I can bear to stand since I seem to have suffered a blow to the right shoulder blade and my jaw still hurts like fuck.  “Now see here you ass cricket,” I begin.  “I am tired of all this being pulled into your shit. First your woulds, then your family, then the damn dungeon and being held hostage is not high on my list of recreation, just a little FYI.  I did not intend to be at the castle.  I was drawn there by a ruse to meet your brother at the In’between…I have the note”, which I produced for effect. Don’t be standing there accusing me of shit I had no control over nor any part of.  As for the fighting with you..you’re welcome, but this will be the last damn time I stand before you because of that bitch”.  I see the familiar face in the crowd and tell him.  “You want to place blame?  Look from within…not all are as they seem to be”.  I move to walk off before I really let loose, and feel a hand on my arm.  Corwvyn.  I look at him.  “I am not in the mood to speak to you today.  Someone has breached your security at the In-between, and I am through dealing with elves on this level”.  He looks at me carefully and finally nods and allows me to proceed.  I move across the bridge and see Brin waiting for me.  She takes one look at me and gathers me close and we instantly appear on Maman’s porch.  “Bring her in here”, says Maman.  She hands me a drink that I have grown to love…the coffee with cinnamon, chicory and chocolate laced with potent rum.  I lean back in the chair and she begins to tend my wounds, all the while chattering in her french dialect mixed with a language that is familiar but I dont speak.  I start to sit up to tell her something, but she pushes me back..”Rest Cher”, she says.  My eyes begin to close and when I do open them again, I am in Brin’s arms, held close.  I recognize this place.  It is her glade.  A place I’ve only been to a few times since it is a long journey.  I look at her questioningly as I hear the soft sounds of slumber from other dragons around us.  “Nobody can come here without permission, and you  need to rest and be protected”, she says.  I nod and close my eyes again as she sings the song of old that soothes me.  I will consider what to do about my friend and his family later, but for now, I will rest.

“Why is it always so damn cold”, I wonder to myself as I walk down the road.  It’s always like this on this road.  Darker than midnight and damned cold. I pull my cloak around me tighter willing it to warm me.  There are few lights on the road, and those that are lit only provide a weak respite to the black ink that is the sky.  I can barely make out shapes in the distance, a tree here, some rocks there.  I know that the farther I walk there is an inn that I have stayed in before, but it is still a good distance away.  What the hell am I doing out here anyway? Then I see him…well think I do.  a ghede who seems to come toward me and then disappears. ” The hell”, I think.  I shake my head and keep walking.  I finally get to a light and see him reappear, so I stop.  Might as well have some sort of feeble attempt at light to decide what is really going on, right? The one in front of me stands there with a deer in the headlights look and holds out his hand.   I am confused, so stand and look at him.  Apparently this makes him more nervous, so he disappears again…all but his hand which is skeletal and holds a key.  Wait.  A key?  Yep..there it is, a key.  Silver with an ornate head, and at the bottom two slim tumblers.  “I wonder what that goes to”, I think to myself.  The key continues to hang suspended in air, if one can call it that, wrapped within a skeletal hand.  “Are you going to make him stand there all night or will you allow him to give you the key like he’s supposed to”? asks a voice from behind me.  I smile.  I know that voice well.  If I had not been so busy with my thoughts, I would have paid attention to the rum and cigar smoke, so missed his arrival.  “Why does he keep disappearing”? I ask.  There is a laugh, followed with a reply of “Because you frighten him Cher”.  Wait.  I frighten him?   I laugh.  “You know most people would either think he was their nightmare, or that they were having some sort of psychotic break if they saw him”, I say. “He reminds me of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland,” I laugh  He laughs.  “And yet, here he stands in front of the fierce Swamp Witch, doing his best to not fade completely away in order to give you what he is supposed to give you”.  Fierce?  The word makes me laugh.  I am nothing like that word  at all. He laughs.  “Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean others perception is the same”.  “Now, if you please, the one who had charge over the key is still waiting”.  OMG’s..the ghede.  I had forgotten he still stands half in, half out, holding the damn key.  So I hold out my hand and allow him to drop it into it.  Which he does quickly, and then the hand also disappear and I can feel the movement of a breeze as he moves away quickly. I look at the key and marvel that its weight is heavier than I first imagined.  “So what does this go to?” I ask.  He smiles.  “You know that you will have to find that out for yourself”, he said.  I shake my head.  “Yeah so much for things to be easy.” I laugh.  “Come have a drink with me”, he says.  Yeah…drinking with him is an adventure, but I do need to speak with him, so I agree and we set off for the tavern which seems to be closer than I first thought.  We find a table and the barkeep immediately brings us glasses and rum.  We sit and talk about several things that have been bothering me, and the other keys in my possession, what I have learned with them and the possibility of the new one doing(he would neither confirm nor deny my suppositions).  Soon it was time for me to leave.  I thanked my friend and made my way back home.  I have a lot of thinking to do and decisions to make concerning some things.  I’ve had good advice, and today a slight hangover. ~holds up keys~ “tell me little key, where do you belong?”

Help!  Help! Ebay is persecuting pagan people and tossing all our wares off its site!  Really?  Wonder why it did that?  Maybe it’s just because its had some sort of rule or another since like forever about some of this stuff.  The problem is online stores are catching up with the mundane about services offered and how they are policed.  Many places have ordinances about those who sell readings, spellwork and herbal decoctions.  After all, where is this stuff regulated and who knows if the ones selling it are legit?  There in lies the rub of it all.  When allowed to sell their wares of love spells, hexes, or tinctures to help push the envelope of astral travel, then those sites allowing it to happen are also likely to be held liable should someone seek recourse for a failed spell or worse..physical/mental harm.  Truthfully, there is so much crap floating around for sale, it is hard to tell those who are genuine and those who are only in the business for the money unless you look really hard at them.  Go into larger cities, and you can find botanicas, metaphysical shops, and new agey places.  What you probably will NOT find is someone in there who is knowledgeable about spell work or the herbs used for them, incense correspondences without looking it up.  Oh hey..there’s an idea..buy a book!  Many do just that.  People write books about spells and how to do it yourself even those buying them have little or no experience in doing such.  The truth is that many do NOT practice so have little to no experience with what they write about, make or sell.  Their ingredients may be some run of the mill weed that looks similar to what is actually supposed to be used and it could be toxic.  OMDamn! But where is the “harm none” in all that?  Good question.   Because in most cases the goods are sold to those who haven’t researched enough history to figure out what they need or how to go about achieving it.   Want a job spell?  go walk a bit, put in some applications.  Want a love spell?  Try being yourself and cut out all the bullshit games when you meet someone.  Need something to calm you down “before someone gets hurt”?  maybe you need to see a dr..you know..a real one to rule out any physical or psychological issue before trying magic.  If it is neither of those, try some meditation(that helps even with a dr’s assistance).  or use some herbal blends in teas or a trusted herbal store.  But don’t go seeking some service from someone who had no clue what is going on in your life.
So while people will whine and cry about the loss of revenue and ability to push their snake oil to those who arent sure if they are on the level or not , I agree with it myself.  If you are truly about helping others, you will find a way to do so, whether it be on a site you create yourself and advertise on social media, or even open your own little shop and sell locally.  It can be done.  As for those looking for an easy way to get through life…suck it up cupcake..You are just existing anyway.

Social media, social fixer and all of the trappings that come with it can be damn amusing . I have been known to cull my friend lists from those who want to preach at me, those who seem to think my life is open for discussion, those that are there “just because”, those who play an app, then drop out.  So I’ve cut my list down considerably.  Sometimes I see that I too, haven’t made the cut on someone’s list, and that is perfectly fine with me.  So today I get up and find that someone who seems to spend an awful lot of time popping in and out of groups has un-friended me.  I’m laughing because truthfully I wanted to know why. Was I too snarky?  Was it because I didn’t agree with everything you posted?  Or was it because I wanted to appear as a responsible human being?  ~prostrates self~  for the love of elfalba tell me!!! ROFLMFAO.    My status is a sarcastic joke of the situation, fuel added by friends.  And the idea that I would be hurt or dismayed by the situation makes me giggle.  I would have to know you for that to be accurate.  I would have to actually give a damn about you, your life or situation for this to be so.  I don’t.  I do have people like that in my life, and if they were to kick me to the curb, I would hope they would honestly tell me..”hey bitch..this relationship is so not working”.  Truthful, direct and no games played.  See how easy that is? No making excuses, no sleight of hand, just an upfront approach to a situation that isnt beneficial to either party.  So how do ya’ll choose who or what makes the cut? Do you choose to limit family, friends,  who would not understand the page you’ve created, the way you practice, your personal beliefs? Do you allow stalkers to stay just for the amusement value, or decide you’ve had enough of that shit in the mundane and toss their heads to the rubbish pile? I have no rhyme or reason really..just depends on the mood I’m in when I start the process.  I may start with a select few for various reasons, but then continue on through said list .  I was just curious about other’s criteria.  Social media…the pain, the misery, the humor of it all.  Some days I unplug(I know that is hard for some of you to believe), and other days I have to see what else will crop up.  Who would have ever thought that an anti-social witch such as myself would be on social media everywhere?  Certainly not myself.  To those still on my list..consider it as a reprieve because I am sure the list will continue to be whittled away.  to those who choose to walk away now..I bid you sweet parting…don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.  Adieu

Things can get a little weird when you are not lucidly dreaming and messages are given through others to shut up and listen.  Today I was summoned back to the library.  I’ve been there only twice before and each time I was escorted by those I know well and trust implicitly.  I wasn’t really sure if I could find the way on my own, but when one is given a direct summons, then how can one turn it down right? So, I begin my journey, pulling my cloak around me, not really to ward off chill, but as a way of centering, lowering that frieze of near panic that sits low in my belly and crawls up my spine.  Why am I being asked to present myself?  The first time there, I acquired a place to work, in the shadows of the back, the most recent time I was studying with George who was quite the task master.  I soon find myself standing in front of the nondescript shop front with the slightly askew sign hanging above swinging crazily in the sudden breeze that has begin.  I see nothing amiss, so open the door in front of me.  The bell above rings to signal the shopkeep, as if the crow that begins to caw loudly wasn’t enough to alert him of my presence. “Come in, come in”, he says cheerily.  “I trust your journey  was uneventful”? I nod and wonder to myself as to why he acts as if he does not recognize me.  But I soon see the reason for his spacial aloofness.  She was seated upon a stool just beside the check out counter.  Dressed in what could only be construed as the garb of royalty.  I am taken aback.  I was not expecting to see anyone else since the last time I was here George whisked me out of sight as if I was not to be known to frequent these parts.  My confusion must have shown on my face, because the woman spoke to me gently.  “I’m sure you are wondering why I asked you to come here”, she said.  “My apologies for it being so abrupt”.  “I know that you were here the other day when I needed a book on script for an event I am holding, and I wished that I had gotten to meet you then so that you would not be so taken aback now”.  “My guardian thought it best to keep me out of the way”, I said quietly.  “I have no idea what it is you need to speak to me about”.  “No, m’dear, I am the one who should apologize for my abrupt summons”.  “And where are my manners?  Come, let us retire to the tea I have ordered and we can converse in a more hospitable setting”.   I look above my head at the crow who seems to shrug as if to say,” fuck me..I have no clue either”.  I almost laugh but bite my lip to stifle it as I follow Her Ladyship through the library towards a table in the back that has seemingly been transformer into a rose arbor.  It contains a beautifully sat table with two chairs as well as servants who stand at attention awaiting our entrance.  At once they jump into motion, pulling out our chairs and bringing in tea, sandwiches and tea cakes.  I move to push back the hood of my cloak and as I do so, she smiles. “You are appear younger than I imagined”.  “With all that I had hear, I’d imagined you as an old woman, with gray hair, and yet you are neither.” I laugh.  “I’m not sure how to take that really.  I am ancient as I like to tell my friends…older than most of them, yet not as old as you pictured me obviously”.  She smiled.  “I am so glad you accepted my invitation Shae..may I call you Shae? I want to learn all I can about those who can help when I need it”.  Wait..I think…help her do what, and this was more than an “invitation“.  My confusion had to be showing because she spoke again while pouring our tea as the minions/servants filled my plate.  “I am planning a wedding…It must not be interrupted for any purpose, and I have spoken with one of your compatriots previously and they agreed to help, so if I should need it, can I also count on you as a back up plan?” FOR FUCKS SAKE! I know the compatriot of whom she speaks, have been privy to part of this conversation from their perspective.  How in the hell am I to help if her plan A doesnt work out? “Ma’am “I begin, “I am not certain that I have anything to offer on that front if my friend finds herself unwilling or unable to help you with that”?  She smiles.  “Don’t sell yourself short Swamp Witch”.  “Your guardian assures me that you would be most helpful should I need it, and you are willing”.  That last part was almost said grudgingly by Her Ladyship and this time I did allow the smile play around my lips.  So George was going to give me an out after all.  How very human of him after all.  the thought of George human almost was my undoing and Im sure if he ever found out, I’d never hear the end of it, but it allowed my nervousness to disparate and to see things as they were.  Her ladyship had an event that MUST take place for whatever reason and she was calling in reinforcements to make sure that happened.  “I will be happy to lend whatever assistance I can”, I tell her. She smiles and claps her hands.  “Oh good.  I was hoping you would do so”.  “Please, help yourself to more food”.  I had not even realized that I had eaten any.  As I look up, I spy a familiar rainbowed furry leg among the leaves in the rose arbor.  Oh.  I guess I didnt eat after all.  “No thank you”, I tell her I am fine”.  She continues to eat and speak of the upcoming wedding, about how she herself had personally written the invitations out in a flowing script and had them hand delivered.  She sounded so excited that I couldnt help but think that this good deed of hers..yeah would definitely have a price tag attached.  Ispent several more minutes with her, then she looked at the watch that was pinned to the front of her dress as a jewel.  “Oh my goodness..time just seems to get away with me.  I must leave, but thank you so much for this visit and your help”.  I stood as she gathered her belongings .  “Goodby m’dear.  I hope to see you again”.  And just like that, she was gone.  I shook my head.  “You can come out now George”, I tell him.  He shifts downward to the previously vacated chair wearing a sheepish grin(if such a thing can happen with a spider).   “So …let me see if I can wrap my head around this shit.  First you pull me out of sight before I can see her and tell me stay quiet, now you’re volunteering my services? Is that correct?” George nods.  “I wanted to scope things out first before I allowed the connection.  I know you know others who are connected to her, but this is different from your side”.   I shake my head.  “You owe me lunch you know,”I said as I gestured toward the table.   He laughed and soon the table was laden with all sorts of things.  “I could not allow you to eat just anything without knowing if it would harm you”, he said.  I knew this, and was grateful that he had my back even if I was still a little ticked over the manipulation.  Ah well..it’s not like its the first time nor likely to be the last.   So I ate my lunch and listened as George explained some details and went over some of the formulas he had me study before.  Soon it was time to return home, and George walked back with me because as he said, the shadows were gathering.  I dont mind shadows much, but if it made him feel better, was not going to argue.  We reached my door, and George stopped and looked at me..”You always have the choice Cher, don’t forget that”.  Out of my head spider,lol…”I know”, I tell him.  “But thanks for caring enough to remind me”.  He nods then disappears.  I have GOT to learn how to do that I think. I make my way inside and lie down on the bed to think things through.   This could either be damned interesting or a fucking train wreck. Either way the energy is going to be damned intense.  I need more rum and or sleep…either order works for me.

It’s been noted that at times I say things or ask questions that others will not say or ask for themselves.  Why is that?  Maybe it’s because I am an opinionated witch and I usually have an opinion, or maybe its because I am not fully invested in the topic at hand and so have nothing to lose by asking, or maybe I get tired of seeing others treated like shit, so will speak for them.  Whatever the reason behind my doing so, I seem to be able to ask or say the hard questions that others want to know the answer to.

I choose to be vocal for those who cannot or will not speak for whatever reason.  It’s part of who I am.  Doesn’t always make me popular, but hell I’m used to that status.  I choose to allow my voice ring out to rail against injustices done, prejudices levied against those who through no fault of their own are different that those who  voice their ignorance.   That doesn’t make me any sort of hero, martyr or sadist(cause yeah some of those vocalized discussions can get a might ugly at times).  What it does mean is that I am trying my damnedest to do what makes me a better human being.  By  becoming all that my guides demand of me, and in the process helping those I care about find some answers of their own. So will I keep on speaking up.  Yeah.  I will.  Because I can.

So I’ve been watching a few conversations lately and its gotten me to thinking about responsibility and what part our actions take in it.

So the first convo was from the stalker feed today.(it really is a later convo than the other, but shorter so it gets to go first).  In it a woman who has divorced, is wiccan and does not follow the whole of the rede has made her own version up.  Basically its all the love and light crap, following the rule of three..which as we all know is bullshit…She believes that the goddess returns any harm and she does not nor will not retaliate for any wrong committed against her.  FFS woman!  what kind of door mat are you anyways? NOWHERE in the rede does it suggest that you allow others to wipe their feet upon your back and push your face down into the mud.  It does say that you return as you have been given.  So one might ask, why should we care that she likes being pushed around by the universe and others here in the mundane?  The other person involved was abusive, and odds are that it will continue..with someone else.  So if one had the opportunity to drag this person kicking and screaming to a “come-to-jesus” meeting where their attitude was “adjusted”, why would you not take it?  Patting yourself on the back because you successfully got away and they can do no more harm to you is all well and good, but what about your responsibility to the world at large?  It’s like loosing a demon…may not come back to kick your ass, but it will feast on those not in the know of your deed, and that have no protection or warning.  So I am of the mind set that we are responsible for what we loose into the world, whether its in the mundane or elsewhere.  Its our responsibility, and if you want to live in a cotton candy cloud of ignorance, keep deluding yourself, just dont expect those of us who get our hands dirty to give you a hand when shit comes back to kick your ass.

So now on to the next convo which actually took place last night.  It involves the event of people scarving up to support others who cover their heads, either for religious preferences, or when working.  It came about as a white woman was harassed for wearing one.  she uses the scarf as a sign of respect for the deity she observes.  I have no problem with this since a great many faiths also do the same.  What I had the issue with was that  POC (people of color) were not actively included.  It was just assumed that those who walk a pagan path in the community would step up and be included without a personal invitation.  WRONG.  Many felt slighted because nobody actually invited them or any groups that they might be affiliated with.  Why is that?  Oversight perhaps or maybe its because in truth, people are people with their own bias, and sometimes it still falls within the racial scope of things.  Lines drawn, walls built as if they can only be included in historically faiths that came from slave days brought to this country. So when it was brought to the attention of those pulling the event together, the ignorance of speech came out.  some could not see the “big deal” because those working on the event were doing so without remuneration, had families, jobs, lives outside of the event.  Well…..isn’t that special? Life has a way of intruding when he have plans ya know? The one phrase that had my jaw hitting the floor? I was told that I could invite my “colored” friend.  WTF?!?!?!? I live in the south.  I know only too well the ramifications of that word which has not long been gone from signs separating  lunch counters, water fountains and bathrooms here.  NOBODY I know would even use that term because it actually is akin to the other word that does not bear repeating, as if they are second class citizens.  So…poor choice of verbiage to be sure, but truthfully I have found that many  POC in the pagan world are really a minority within a minority and are often overlooked.  I’ve not met a great many within the confines of community, but those I have , I’ve  found to be more than knowledgeable about their paths and not afraid to help when asked.  So where does the responsibility come in?  It is our job to assess our walk.  Too often Ive heard from those on pagan paths about the persecution they feel because of certain faiths, and yet they pass that same ignorance and hostility on others based upon race, ethnicity or sexuality.  We need to be checking ourselves people.  We cannot in good conscience say that we are “open” if we still allow these things to come in and impede what we are trying to accomplish.  There is only ONE race..HUMAN, and its high time that we check to make sure we are abiding to that idiom.I know we’re human beings, coming from different perspectives, but that is the beauty of it.  We all come to the same table and have different things to offer. One cannot have a sumptuous smorgasbord if you are going to limit what is placed upon the table.  It’s our responsibility to make it right.  If you see things going on that is wrong, speak up.  It’s our silence that allows it to continue. You have a responsibility to be an active member of the human race…be a damn good  example of what truly should be.

 

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