Amethyst's Offerings

Sometimes there are days when it feels like life is not all it’s cracked up to be.  The drudgery of work, bills, family(yeah especially family) hammers at us, and our psyche takes a hit.  It causes us to try and hold back tears, the harsh words that are so easily formed when the ignorant cross our path.  It’s not their fault they are in the wrong place at the right time, but they sure as hell will bear the brunt of our frustrations.  It’s been that kind of week for me.  I know Mercury went into retrograde..that isn’t my issue..really..well maybe a little, but that I will only apply to the mechanical failure of my machine this week..not how I feel at the moment..the emotionally spent, tired as hell feeling that has me wanting to crawl into bed at an obscenely early hour  and shut out the world.  And then just when we feel like we can’t handle anymore..there on the corner is a sliver of innocence that shines out at us.  In my case, that would be the princess who lives here…my rotten baby as I call her..and she is terribly spoiled..but her sweet ways are endearing.  I chuckle at the fact that she carries a pink blanket that has green frogs on it EVERYWHERE.  She calls it her “blankyfrog”..and it even has a gender..she always calls it “him” when she has misplaced it.  There is also Lenny her lemur friend…stuffed animal that sleeps with her and dances with her…”Cmon Lenny..follow my moves” she instructs him.  Making me wish I had video camera to document this moment in time for times such as now when I am feeling the pull of being less than charitable .

It’s not just me either who feels like this…I know of others who have had problems in the past month just dealing with life.  Deaths, family issues, job carp…It’s life in general.  Thank the Gods for the innocents who touch our lives with their unencumbered joie d’vivre.  Without them, I’m not sure I would want to come out of the shadows or greet the sun each day..and today would be one of those days..I’m just tired really…it’s been a week of people being ugly to one another, of pretending friendship and then hearing their shit they say behind your back when they think you don’t know…seriously, with the way FaceBook is lately, a lot of shit is coming across feeds that people think is hidden, and yet..it’s not.  Funny how the universe works huh?  I guess my frustration and emotional upheaval is the disappointment I get in my fellow human beings. I expect them to be better, and am disappointed when I find they aren’t.  Sad really, because deep inside, I know they can be.  I get frustrated by the little cliques too that gang together and are “so much more knowledgeable” because they’ve either known each other longer, belong to the same church, club together, believe alike..endless list here…I don’t know where this is headed really as I sit here feeling emotionally empty, in the doldrums…but I do know that as I hang with Brae tonight, I will once more give thanks to the powers that be that I have her as a gift that gives my life a small glimmer of light.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately, and of course convos from various places always makes me do so, which in itself is a good thing.  So some of the conversations have been about magic, tools and how one uses them.  I know what I do for myself personally, and while it works for me, it doesn’t apply to other paths.

So…where is the magic?  It is within each of us, and abounds within, without the universe.   Gaia embraces us within her warmth and connects us to her, to each other, with her energy.  So why the need for tools? Basically, no need for tools at all. I’ve seen the books with the lists that many publish as “needing” to have on one’s altar for magical workings.  Athame, cauldron, candle holders, bowls, stones, tarot cards, mirrors..the list is seemingly endless, and while they may have purpose, and be aesthetically pleasing to the eye..not necessary. One’s mind is the greatest tool one can use in working with energy..it can visualize anything you need, and essentially you become the best tool required-and I say that in the nicest possible way-~smiles~.  So, why do we collect tools.  Personally, I like the look of some of them, and how they feel as I hold them.  For a long time, my athame was a dull knife with a wooden handle that I found at a yard sale somewhere..because I liked the feel of the wood in my hand. Now I have one my son gifted me that is shaped like a dragon who’s tongue is the blade.  Very ornate, and while the gift is appreciated, my finger would have worked just as well.   I’ve seen some pretty pricey tools made by others, and while I do not begrudge them from making some paper, one doesn’t need to go all fancy if you either cannot afford it or just don’t feel the need.  It’s the same with any tool.  I have several decks of tarot cards(I collect them I guess because I love the art, or they “call” to me)…One doesn’t need to spend a great deal on these either.  I actually have a Rider-Waite deck that I got online somewhere that you print the cards out on card stock and color yourself..very cool infusion of personal energy, as well as cost efficient if one cannot afford to buy the deck.  I did buy an actual deck though later on, but gave it away because really, it just did not interest me.  I personally buy a deck that intrigues me, such as my Thoth deck, or amuses me like my deck of the dead(which has the major arcana as skeletons).  I think that sometimes when one buys decks such as fantasy, dragons and the like, its because it interests them, and if one is interested from the outward appearance, then they may be inclined to learn to read with them a little more in-depth than using the little white booklet that comes with the cards.   The deck of the dead is actually my personal deck because I always smile as I pull it out. It has the fool with his dog as a hitchhiker, and I am amused because it reminds me of my brother who used to travel that way when he was alive.    If one is going to use actual tools, then I feel they should be consecrated for use.  One can make your own ritual up, using herbs, water, salt, incense, candles of your choosing(I have my own personal recipe, but again, this is for your own use, so use what works for you).  This sets your tools apart from anything else, and only for the magic.  Some seem to feel that their tools are what makes the workings manifest, I beg to differ.. It is the practitioner’s intent that sends the working on its way, to be manipulated into whatever it is that we desire.  We hold the magic within ourselves…we use it as we divine, cast spells, or work with our tools…or not… It is after all our choice as to how ornate we are going to be, if we set up an altar or not and what tools, ANY tool, we are going to use.  It has to feel right to us when we collect them, to make them really feel as our own.  That is what a personal path is supposed to be about after all, making it your own.  So when looking around and taking stock of what you need, or might not need, make sure the tool feels right, fits your path and most of all speaks to what you want in your path.  It’s not a “one size fits all” kind of world…even if some books say it is..listen to that voice within you and find your magic…it’s there inside.

It has been a wild day of mishaps today, and some ever stranger conversations.  I could blame it on the fact the mercury is going into retrograde tomorrow, or that there is a VOC occurring as well, and while i was joking about that with a friend on twitter, I know better.  I’ve told ya’ll that I work in a sewing plant..we make ACU(that would be uniforms) for the military.  It’s a piece rate kind of thing..if you make a certain level(production rate) then you make better than minimum wage, if not..that is all you get.  I refuse to settle for minimum, so I work damn hard…Mississippi is a right to work state so there are no unions ala “Norma Rae” to help keep the workers from being taken advantage of, so…anyway, today my machine did not want to cooperate at all..breaking thread and just being stupid..so enters the mechanic who had to take the thing apart and of course that takes time, so while I wait, I am losing money.I could rant  I guess, but what is the point? In fact, I took the time to joke about it on twitter. I blamed it on the retrograde…it’s not..it’s just one of those things that happens to a machine that has a lot of years of wear and tear on it and by operators who push it to make money.  Shrugs..it is what it is.  So while I am waiting, the girl behind me who is also having problems with her machine…yeah was Monday for all of us….begins telling me about her life and how damn hard it is.  Really.  I would never have guessed  that someone who actually have life hard…She complains that she cannot afford to pay her rent, her bills, buy her kids things to start school, and yet…..she buys beer EVERY weekend..enough to last all week.  And her husband buys cigarettes.  Ya’ll know I had to…so I did…I ask her, why she bought those things when she obviously needs to keep a roof over her kids heads and groceries in the house, etc.  But those are things we need, she says.  NEED?!?!?! FFS! Really? The 30 plus dollars from the beer would have bought some school supplies. and at over 6.00 a pack for the smokes, she could have put couple gallons of gas in her car.  I just shook my head, because people like her would not understand my thinking at all.  “So how do you do it,” she asks?”You work 3 days a week, and I know you have a houseful of people”.  She is right on both counts.  My ex, youngest daughter, her husband, and granddaughter all live with me.  Robert draws piece of disability check, I work 3 days, and Robyn weekends at the bar.  It’s a challenge at times, but we make it work.  How?  Well we pay the bills first, that’s how..whatever one that is due, gets paid…then maybe if there is something left, it goes on what we want.  Sometimes I am willing to go without so others can have their needs or wants met(usually Brae), but that’s just how I am made.  Life is a challenge at times when dealing with medical issues, legal things that I am in charge of, or just family dynamics which can be challenging even when we all don’t live together.  But when I wake each day, and I may not want to get up and go to the plant,  much preferring to sleep late and hang out with the princess…I put my feet on the floor and hit the coffee pot switch on the way to the shower where I wash away the wisps of last night’s dream, and mentally prepare myself for the daily grind.  Some days it’s a little easier than others..I appreciate my friends who tweet or send me text to make me laugh…makes the long day seem to go faster.  Other times, it’s just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and making it to the end of the day when I can come home, deal with the issues at hand and make it to my bed at a decent hour.  Life is meant to be lived, experiencing all that it has to offer, the ups and downs and in betweens.  If one does not take the opportunity to do that, then you are just existing.  I cannot imagine going through life like that.  Even on my worst days, when I would lie awake at night and ask the universe to just let me check out for a little while even, and then find myself hitting the alarm the next morning swearing because I did not, I would not even consider just “existing”..going through the motions of life, without experiencing the pain,joy, laughter, tears…everything in balance that makes up life.  So while my life is nowhere even close to being perfect, I accept that it is what it is and value everything that I experience each and every day.

I’ve run across some crazy comments lately on Facebook as well as outside the digital realm.  All of them have centered around the religious context of people’s beliefs.  Some feel that people wearing certain jewelry tells them exactly what their path is, i.e. pentacle means Wiccan or pagan, cross means christian, star of David means Jewish.  Pretty good assumptions I guess , but what if someone just liked the jewelry? I know some people not especially religious who will wear the star of David or a cross, and yet not be affiliated with any particular church or synagogue.  Still others feel that if one dresses in a certain way that should identify what path you are affiliated with..well maybe.  Some Jewish sects wear their hair a certain way(Hassidic comes to mind), some Christian groups( pentecost, holiness sects)wear  dresses for women and the long hair Amish and plain people also live and dress a specific way.  And some swear that by the pictures on FB they can tell what one believes…maybe, maybe not…Some people with Cthulu pix can be satanists or maybe they are into chaos , practicing and incorporating the necromicon into their path, pentacles could either be pagan, Wiccan, something else..sometimes for shock value and no religious ties at all… So how do you know who believes what?  How are you supposed to know?  I like the line from The Adams Family movie when Wednesday tells her mother she is dressed as a homicidal maniac..they look like everybody else…so it is with the majority of us.  Unless we go to the extreme in dress, actions etc, then a lot of people do not know what we believe unless we are asked directly(which is what a person on my friend’s list is doing atm).  We could go around shouting from the rooftops I guess “I am a (insert path here)”, but what does that truly do for us?  Draws attention to be sure, and maybe that is what one is after with such a declaration. Gives an ego boost? Probably.  I mean one takes pride in the path they construct for themselves, right?  Even in the christian paths, one can’t always tell..I mean  some who do what they please all week, then attend church on Wednesday night and Sundays seems more than a little hypocritical, but then who am I to judge? If they feel it works for them, soldier on people.  I guess the thing that rankles me sometimes is the assumption people get when they look at someone and decide they “know” who they are.  Really? Unless one reads, I’m not sure you can(some people shield damn well;) ).  My friend on FB wants to ask “what religion are you”…I’m not sure one could explain that your path actually isn’t a religion per se…since according to the supreme Court Wicca is the  officially recognized religion.but pagan covers a lot of territory, so unless you belong to a group that has filed for tax exempt status, then you don’t have a religion…it’s a belief system, usually based on UPG..meaning what works for you, is how your path developed…Some are initiated, and that is fine for them, others follow a more structured path.  But would you know just to look at them? Probably not…We all believe differently and are entitled to live as we choose.  We just need to remember at times, that so do other people.  If they are ignorant, and have sucky references, then so be it…the debate will be livelier….If they choose to feel that we should study more, there’s no argument here…we all can stand to learn something new every day…But I refuse to live life assuming that people are one way or another just because they speak, dress, live in a way that I may have preconceived notions about.  yeah..am gonna have to work on some of the judgment myself, but at least I am honest to admit that I could use the work in that area…….

 

peace out

Been thinking past couple days after seeing some comments, posts etc about just what the universe will and will not do for you, so it got me to thinking and this is a list I came up with.

1. Life is not fair..It doesn’t matter how much you whine and wail, that is just the truth of the matter.  Someone, somewhere will invariably look like they have things made to the max while you are on the edge of nothingness, an yet..you do not have advantage of their perspective, so have no clue as to the truth  of that image.
2. People lie.  It’s human nature to want to hide things from others.  I’m sure it’s gone on since the dawn of time, it’s been spoken/preached on ad nauseum about how Eve lied to god about what she had been up to, never mind that she had examples from god himself when he said to not eat from the tree of Knowledge “lest they die”..OK, they didn’t immediately die, which was the implication, so maybe a half-truth?
3. People will take things that belong to you.  It may be plagiarizing something you’ve written, taking your personal belongings, or your identity.  Small or large, it makes you feel sick to your stomach because you have been violated.
4. NOBODY knows everything.  I know that we’ve all seen people who speak with such knowledge that we might feel that they are a wealth of knowledge..and they probably are…on that subject.  I have yet to meet someone who is omnipotent or omniscient.  Buddhists feel that Buddha reached the level of true enlightenment, and while that is an admirable goal, I feel if he were truly enlightened, then he would have found a way to attain god status and retain the love and family he left by the wayside in his journey.
5. What you do has a reaction.  It’s called “cause and effect”, not karma…If you do something like leave your shoes out in the floor then trip over them, I guess you learned to put them away.  Sometimes you may get caught up in others shit, and while its not really your fault…if you had removed yourself from the situation, you might not be covered in shit when it hits the fan.
6. Not all people who claim to practice magic really do. Some talk a good game, but its all illusion.  some try to differentiate it by being pretentious and adding a “k” to the word..sort of like Crowley, who also did that to let people know the difference between real magic and sleight of hand, although he was known to have once stated that witches are great illusionists because they make you see what you think you see ..some do..those who make a buck or two off readings, spells for sale etc.  The “I can remove that curse for 1500.00” group is alive and well in many paths.
7. Readings are for guidance only.  No matter how many tarot cards you pull, runes you peer at, bones you throw…whatever divination you use…it’s all guidance and not set in stone.  It’s not like throwing dice over and over again hoping for a 7 or 11 only to get snake eyes.  You and you alone have the ability to change things in your life.  The cards or reader can give you insight, but that is all it is.  Death does not mean literal death..stop freaking out..it’s change..not always physical.  Learn to be fluid in those readings, and never pay a reader who only wants to ask you 1001 questions because they are just siphoning off from you..they aren’t really reading.
8. Yes there really are people who can suck all the energy out of a room. They don’t always know they are doing it..it’s just how they are.  If you don’t shield enough to keep from being exhausted by spending time around them..learn to avoid them.
9. Family will always make you crazy. It’s in their nature.  Sometimes we are frustrated by wanting better for them, and they repeatedly screw that up.  Sometimes they kick us out of their lives because they are too selfish to know that family is what gives one roots, yet wings to fly.  We just have to shrug and let it go. It just pulls us to their insane level trying to figure it out.

10. Life is filled with love and beauty if we just take the time to see it.  Friends come into our lives that fill it with laughter, and insight, and that is a great thing to be thankful for.

Now I am sure that there are a great many other things that the Universe does not clue us in about, so feel free to add your own to the list..but this were the ones that made my top 10.

Peace Out

Meditation is an internally invoked personal practice.  One can use a variety of items to use for focus.  There are a great many different styles, and it varies according to beliefs, and personal practice.  the history of meditation is bound up in a myriad of religious practices, even in prehistoric civilizations rhythmic chants and offerings to appease the gods were used dating back to 500 B.C.  In 500-600 B.C. the Taoists in china and Buddhists in India began to develop meditative practices.

I am a firm believer that meditation can calm the spirit, help on center and regain balance, and believe me, some days I need it more than others.  I also have taught my little people to use it as well.  My oldest Grandson, Trey, was diagnosed with ADHD(kids diagnosed way too much for that imho).  the doctors suggested medication for his outbursts.  In reality, his parents were in the middle of a divorce at the time, and he had no way to express his frustrations with the adults in his life. This is where I step in.  One particularly trying day, he came and sat beside me on a lounger out in the back yard..”Nana”, he says..”I try..really, but nothing works”..”C’mere angel boy”, I say..”lets do this”.  So he lies beside me and we close our eyes.  “I want you to take me to your favorite place” I tell him..”and describe it for me”…Trey is quiet for a minute, calm breathing, then he speak”we are walking to a secret garden Nana…we are walking up a hill to where there is an iron gate.” “Is the gate locked or open?” I ask.  “It’s locked ” he says.  “Can we open it?” I ask.  “I can open it”, says Trey.  We go inside the garden.  “Tell me what we see Trey”, I whisper gently.  He smiles and says “there are flowers Nana”…lots of flowers, of all colors.  Some like yours here in the yard, some like we saw on the show about the rain forest”.  I smile…”smell the perfume of those flowers Trey..let them waft around you, fill you with peace”.  He smiles the most beautiful smile.   “We can sit on the bench by the pool over there” says Trey..”let’s do that then”, I say.  So we walk to the bench he has placed there in the garden.  “I think I will curl up in your lap Nana, like we are now”, he says…”great, I tell him.”you know Trey, that you can come back here any time you need to…it’s a safe place for you to come and chill out..a place to regain some calm”.  “I’d like that” he says.  We sat this way for quite some time until Trey was ready to leave his sanctuary, and retraced our steps with him locking the gate behind us.  He was considerably calmer, able to see things clearer, and continues to use this technique even now that he is older(he is almost 12 and pre-teen angst can make ANY day a “bad” day).  For myself I like to walk to a cliff overlooking the ocean, sometimes walking down a path to sit on the beach below.  My time with Trey was a guided meditation, allowing him to focus his mind on a safe place to be filled with calm and serenity.  It does not have to be some big production in which we have to find special positions, music etc..although I have found that certain scents and music does help when I have had a particularly rough week.   I’ve heard people say they cannot still their minds for “that long”..How long is that?  I have been known to take a 5 minute break at work to go and quiet my mind when it gets crazy..can they not do that for 5 minutes? I think that they feel they have to have some profound experience, when in reality it can be as simple as Trey’s garden…something quiet, beautiful and with a sense of peace…whatever that is to you.  There are even places online that offer free guided meditations, for those that need a voice to help them focus.  I’ve used them when I am stressed and have trouble in focusing.  I will provide you with links at the end of this if you are interested in trying some of them out.  We all need peace in our lives, a way to recenter and find balance, or we soon get so stressed with the day to day that it affects us physically, mentally and spiritually.  So why not give it a try..what have you got to lose except a few minutes?

 

Free meditation sites:

www.learningmeditation.com

www.meditationcenter.com

www.myinnerworld.com (they also have a facebook page)

 

Peace out

 

 

 

One could wonder what PB & J would have to do with anything, but it was “suggested” that I write a blog about it, so this is my attempt after mulling it over today.  I was first introduced to this comfort food at a young age by my Great Grandmother.  Her peanut butter tasted much different than the processed ones of today because she made it herself.  the closest that even comes near it would be the Jiff crunchy kind, so if I’m buying, that is what I choose.  My grandfather,her son, grew crops and always had peanuts as well as other vegetables an fruits, so she had a supply to parch and make into peanut butter.  It’s actually healthier, because it has many of the beneficial nutrients found in the skin and because it is not refined, also helps with cardiovascular diseases(hmm..might have to look for a peanut grower and make my own now that I think of it).  It also has couple of special nutrients in it called resveratrol an antimicrobial(also found in red grapes)that wards of potential bacteria and fungi.  All of this from one little legume.  who knew when George Washington Carver encouraged people to grow peanuts it would expand to include of of the best comfort foods of our youth.  Now many people add peanut butter to all types of cooking(I especially love it in Thai food), but many prefer the old staple of jelly, which I also enjoy.  that too was first experienced at my Gran’s table with her homemade jams and jellies..blackberry, grapes from their vineyard, blueberry, raspberry, plum from the tree by her front door…All on freshly baked wheat bread.  She got the flour from bartering with a neighbor who grew wheat..he got eggs, and fruit in return if I remember correctly..love that barter stuff between neighbors..was truly a more simpler time.  The thing is, we all have foods that just the thought of them at times take us back to a time where we were content.  I remember well sitting at that big table speaking with my Gran who always accepted me for who I was. “Shae”, she said…”always be who you are meant to be..don’t change for others because then you will have lost part of who you are”.  A very wise woman was my gran. When I would have problems with my parents, I would walk up the hill to her home and we would talk about things that bothered me.  “Stand tall” she said. Growing up in a military home, I only got to see her during the summers so that time spent with her was a special, magical time..tending the flowers, weeding the garden..not my favorite chore, but hey, want to eat, then got to work, right? But mostly talking with her and hearing her perspective on the world and how people should be treated.  So in her honor and the smile its put on my face remembering time spent with Gran, I think I will go and enjoy a PB&J sandwich ..

Peace out

Here’s the deal. Lot of talk has been happening lately about curses, superstitions, and such.  Often people do whatever it takes to avoid superstitions even if they claim to not be superstitious.  Superstitions,  are a credulous belief not based upon knowledge or reason.  There are a great many…  Don’t let a black cat cross your path, don’t walk under a ladder, or break a mirror, Friday 13th is” bad” day.  Even pagans have their own set of  freak outs when things occur.  A whole candle seems to go WHOOSH! into a puff of smoke when it was to burn for 3 days, The flame seems to grow or dance when one is working, working magic during a void in the moon or when Mercury goes into retrograde.  One could say that you shouldn’t tempt fate..We by nature are afraid of things we cannot explain.  Someone, somewhere had something happen by coincidence of any of those listed above, and so the urban myth grew. Personally I don’t mind working in a void, it’s great for a darker magic,and I don’t mind the retrogrades.  I just take more care with them because of others reactions.  I’ve broken mirrors on purpose, and the other things don’t bother me at all.  So why do we feel the need to attach something negative to all these happenings?  Why the need to feel cursed and attaching it to your life?  I knew someone who felt that he had been cursed by someone who was jealous of him.  Was it possible?  Sure..anything was possible, but in truth, they already had friction, so anything that happened was going to invariably attributed to the other person.  So what happens when one attributes everything ‘bad” in their life as to being cursed?  What do you do?  Find a shaman or someone to remove said “curse” or do  you look a little deeper perhaps and sit back and see what is the real truth.  I choose the latter.  Things happen sometimes just because.  Sometimes its because of something we did to cause it, other times its someone’s else’s shit that cause the ball to roll downhill.  Does that mean that there are no such things as curses…~smiles~, I know some who would disagree with that.  After all those explorers who opened the tomb of Tutankhamen all met oddly timed and surreal demises afterwards.  Was it because of said curse placed on the tomb?  Perhaps.  Do I think witches can curse?  I know some who have no problem with it if that is what is called for.  Do I think people should go around living their life thinking that everything that befalls them is because someone is projecting onto them or cursed them?  Absolutely not…to do so would almost certainly require the need to seek mental help…persecution complexes need assistance.  Yet all of us to some degree have this “fear” or belief that causes us to pause.  I myself, have a pent and jade in my car..its for protection…I believe it has merit, I placed that protection around me as I drive..so far so good.  I know people who place some sort of talisman above their door  for the same purpose..I remember the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, when Jimmy Stewart came down the stairs and touched the top of the banister for luck…People have been doing such things since way back in the day.  Does it help?   They help Peace of mind maybe..if one believes they work, they do..its the same as being cursed..it’s a mind set kind of thing.  The guy who thought he was cursed had everything fall apart because he expected it to fail.  We give it power…it is our intent that helps things along.  So the next time something happens that seems a little odd..check and see if maybe, just maybe there was something you did to cause it, ..chances are, you just might have.

Many people toss that line ‘in perfect love and perfect trust”around in the wiccan /pagan circles.  Mostly its when they feel someone is being too “mean” so remind them about perfect love…just what does it mean really? Where did it come from?

Well in truth, nobody knows exactly.  It is suggested it appeared in Gardner’s early BOS, but nobody actually knows that for sure.  It did appear in 1975 in Gwen Thompson’s “REDE OF THE WICCAE”.  In the poem it states,