place the blame where it belongs

I’m going to try to end the year with getting rid of baggage. It’s been stuffed in my personal closet for way too long.


The news is filled with two men who garnered the respect and admiration of millions everywhere as the ultimate father figure. Bill Cosby and Stephen Collins. One denies his victims claims and the other skirts around the truth with “I only touched them”. Both neglect to see the impact their actions had on the lives of those they assaulted. Both with their positions of power negate the believability of their victims in the eyes of others. Because after all, they are not those type of guys are they? Cosby would have us believe that everyone is lying and has ulterior motive for coming out. How about, they just want to be whole? Collins in his denial of not being a pervert who preys on little girls negates the knowledge that his actions changed that little girl forever. She was thrust into a world she wasn’t ready for, colored how she sees herself as a person and violates any trust she may ever have for those who want to be close to her.


So how do I know this? I too was subjected to sexual abuse growing up by family members who knew that my home life was already a mess and therefore I would never be believed if I told or that if I did, it would be somehow my fault. As I grew up, it kept me isolated because what do I have in common with girls fumbling in back seats with boys when a man had already claimed what he wanted from me? I didn’t date much. When I did, it was with groups because that’s safer. I didn’t trust much (something that I’m still working on). Do you know how long it’s been to look in a mirror and not see a damaged little girl? I wish I could say that marriage transformed me but it didn’t. I still kept isolated, with few friends, stayed busy with my children and their lives. It’s only as I age that I’ve begun to value myself as a real person with gifts to offer to the world. Life isn’t perfect but it’s also not terror filled with nightmares  I can live with that.


There it is.Out on front street. For the victims, I applaud your courage. For their scum bag purveyors of pain, I wish for you to get everything coming to you that you deserve… And then some.


Comme vous recolterez ainsi vous semer vie me sera pas le votre pour profiter. Les visages de ceux que voux leses doit etre dans  vas reves la douleur vous saurez toujours.