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I am a mess today. My emotions go from anger, cranky to almost in tears. I have a headache that comes and goes..and its all the dreams fault,lol. I had one that tells me something and I have yet to decipher it so its thrown me of kilter. We all dream, and they speak to us about things in our lives, things we need to know or sometimes they are just to amuse. The things we see in them are not always as they appear..death is about change, water can be life or death depending upon whom you ask. Jung described it as our collective unconsciousness..we are solving issues in our lives through the dreams. So the next time you get one of those that have left you wondering? Write it down, if you dont know anyone to spin it with, get a dream dictionary(even one online) and look for symbols among them then relate it to what is going on in your life. It’s to tell you something, and its better to listen or we might miss out on something important.

The universe never cease to amaze me in the way balance is achieved. In my busy running around of making sure the princess has all she needs and is healthy while her mom works, I got hit with 2 pieces of news. One friend lost her mom today. Wasnt unexpected..she has been ill for almost a year now, but still my heart grieves for her and her family in their loss. The other news came from another friend who had a health scare and the test results came back in her favor. I am excited about this because she has enough on her plate. I am reminded of the balance upon reflection of these two events, Death/life, happy/sad, everything that exemplifies what the universe is about. We dont often stop and look for these happenings in our lives, and its not often that one gets both halves in one day. Kind of makes our mundane day to day problems of “I didnt sleep well”, “I am in pain” etc..(endless list here) seem insignificant when we get to see both halves of the universe presented to us in a big way. I could whine about things that go wrong in my life, but what would be the point? I know that eventually there will be balance and I will not feel so stressed. To my friend Jan..I wish you blessings of peace. may you find solace in the love that surrounds you. To my friend Sunshine…I rejoice with you and am grateful that things are being reaffirmed in your life. Love you both.

OMFG I have run into the weirdest people as of late. Is it the heat making them act so intelligence challenged or what? I go and have a pleasant playdate with the princess in the Buffalo Park in Tupelo. She loved it, we had a great time.(pix posted on FB) On to lunch after major hand washing since she actually got to feed said animals which was very cool..where else you gonna talk to a water buffalo named Cheech? We get to the restaurant, where they have a great buffet usually, and our waitress seemed a little harried, so finally after getting drinks, we go get our food. Now it was hot(indexes at 112), so Brae and I got drinks before leaving the park..her mother did not, so she drank hers rather quickly, and we asked the waitress in passing if we could get another. “Sure” is her response, on she goes..gets the pitcher of tea, serves 2 others in another section and replaces said pitcher without returning to our corner. So I see her clearing a table a table close by us, and I ask..”Can we get some more tea?”..She again says “sure”..I say…”that’s what you said 5 minutes ago”..So she goes and gets the tea..gets in my daughter’s face, and says “you want some tea?”..Anyone knowing Robyn knows that isnt a good thing, getting close enough to be hit..but she just said yes, and the woman, looked at me and said”I’ve been so busy..will you forgive me today”..Umm yeah, Brigid’s cross around my neck in plain view,pagan heart that is in no mood for stupidity and my son in law on the other side who has been on the receiving end of ass kickings from me(I call him yankee trash when I am pissy) is trying not to laugh..I just look at her. She walks away to finally give table on other side their drinks which they had been trying to get since they sat down. Then she is stupid enough to come back!!! SIL is about to lose it, because hello, I thought I made it clear I wasnt happy with her service to start with..and proceeds to tell me that she has this whole section etc etc. Now anyone who knows me, and those who dont soon learn. I do NOT buy excuses from anyone as to why they cannot accomplish what they are supposed to do. I can accept that sometimes things happen beyond our control, but to not do your job because what you have to do is expected of you..well….suck it up cupcake. I look at the woman like she has gone mental, and tell her..sorry, it’s your job, no excuses..turn back to my meal, and tell my daughter to finish up because we won’t be staying long,lol. So we leave…but I’m still ticked, so I left nice message for them at their corporate office. This was just ridiculous. Then we get home, the princess goes out and talks with kids across the street, and they again invite her to church. FFS..She is 5..has no clue that their brand of fundamental rhetoric is cult-like and that they would indeed tell her nana (not to her face of course)that she is going to hell..if such a place existed. I dont go out of my way to antagonize people, and even though I disagree with my neighbors beliefs, I am not rude to them, and dont mind the kids playing together. What I do mind is that they feel the need to “collect” every child not affiliated with a church of some kind because that is how they are going to ‘save” the world. My princess knows her nana does magic..She wants to “say the words”..and truthfully, sometimes her little positive self is a boost in what I am working. We light candles as I explain what the color means and whom I am lighting for..She loves when we light for Sunshine…she says it looks lovely..I tell her its full of love for our friend. She likes that. I want her to grow up knowing that people are entitled to their own beliefs without having to be collected as if they are in need of being saved from the big bad world. We live here..it’s our job to make it more positive..without excuses as to why we can’t.

Well, let me just preface that question with a “it depends upon how pissed off I am today”… umm yeah that was joke..or was it? .I was reading today on pagan boards ..One question today was :”Is there color in magic”? I’ve read so many of the …if one violates harm none or does a ‘death spell”..(yeah they exist..dont know of anyone who has successfully done one)*shrugs* just saying…then that is “black” magic, and against all witches principles. Says who? It all comes down to one’s own personal code of ethics. In wicca, which Gardner set up and made up the terms “harm none” and the “3-fold law” in the 50’s, people refuse to evolve past that which served for a time. I keep hearing all the time that one can be wiccan and not be initiated(which is a whole nother blog in itself), then why would you constantly stick to that which is obviously made up fluff? Personally, I think that old Gerald and his co-horts pushed the envelope of what was the norm back in the day and was afraid to cross over that line in the sand they drew for themselves, so it kind of became “law”. Now, many speak of Crowley who started the Golden Dawn, and had great influence on many people, including Gardner, David Bowie, Ozzy Osbourne among others,as one who practiced “black” magic, because his made up prose was “do as you will”. I basically like his better because it essentially says, if you can live with it, go ahead and do it. It is your personal responsibility..your own personal line in the sand. There,in truth, is no color to magic. It all comes down to the one who is practicing. (And yes, I spelled it magic..because its pretentious to add the “k” or “j” like some do’..its a manipulation of energy people, no matter how you spell it). Nature is made up of balanced symmetry. One has to have light to balance out the shadows. So why would you limit yourself to not walking down both halves of self? We all have a shadow side..that part that we keep hidden from others, the one that we sometimes think that if we let others see, they would either run screaming the other way, or hide in the corner whimpering at what they found there. Sometimes we have to reach inside that other half to allow us to move forward on our paths. I used to be afraid of that side,,all the anger that resides there about life, but now I know that I can use that at will to achieve my goals. Some divide this as “right hand path vs left hand path..black/white..and yet I have found that life is not absolutes. It has many shades of gray and what I would do, you might not, and vice versa. In my opinion, which in this blog is only one that counts, I feel that too many people get hung up on all the labels of what is and is not good/evil. do I believe that there are things out there beyond redemption? hell to the yeah. Do I think that there are things that I would not do to someone or for someone when working….my personal ethics say I have to leave them breathing…:)…Its time to stop trying to define what magic is or isnt ..It all comes down to your own personal yardstick, and if you can live with it…more power to you.
Peace out……

Ok, ya’ll know how I am, perusuing pagan pages and such, reading..from some pretty awesome people by and large, and yet every now and again, some stupid fucktard opens his mouth..and voila! a new blog is born,lol
Thing is, someone asked why pagan peeps prefer to go under a pseudonym when they are either online or meeting within confines of pagan communities. Now the short version of that is that sometimes, its more for protection, because some employers, family etc would not understand our chosen spiritual path. Much like people who were executed in the 1600s who were not witches, the same still applies. Still others use it as definition of who they are spiritually and still others use it as more of a “working title”. Yet this fucktard I speak of throws in race..RACE!!! in this day and age..we STILL have to speak of race issues. Living in the south, I get a lot of grief because truthfully, people dont know what to make of me. Then they get to know me a little better..read few of my writings and decide..hmm, ok, she’s not what I thought.(Some are grateful that I am what they thought, which is cool too) Now I know that in the “real” world this crap still exists, but I would hope that in the pagan community this could be put to rest..apparently not. Then we get the little fluff without a clue who states that “the goddess loves us all, no matter what outsiders think” WTF!?!?!? Did she not just read and comment on the same thread I was at? Did she not see the slam directed at one of the wisest black women I know? Yeah, in truth, the comment in utopia would be ideal, but hello..earth to fluff without a clue..this is the real world, even online people are the same. In fact, they have a tendency to say things and behave worse because of the anonymity one gets. A feeling of self-superiority to do what one desires without being held accountable. They slur against race, sexuality, economic standings..whatever floats their boat without feeling the ramifications of the pain they just inflicted. It makes me want to puke. How dare they pollute the air of where I am, and hurt others I respect? I would hope that one day in the not too distant future, my princess and her cousins will not know what this crap is, or have to deal with it. In the mean time, I am going to protect them all I can and may the gods have mercy upon those who decide to pollute that sanctuary I create with their hateful energy…it will not be a pretty sight when I am through with them.

Seriously..wtf is wrong with people? Do they go out of their way to write blogs and post and hope that nobody sees their crap? They spout rubbish as truth and then wonder why nobody wants to take anyone who claims the label “pagan” seriously. I read a blog tonight that compared pagan/christians as like comparing apples to toasters. Are you serious? They claim that personal experience trumps anything dealing with education of your path. That would be UPG or Unverified Personal Gnosis. There are no authoritative texts..and on that she is correct, however, there are plenty of info around for one to at least educate yourself in what it is you would like to believe in. She thinks that looking for common ground between paths is a useless venture. I disagree. why, you may ask. Respect!!! We keep looking for what makes us different…Across the world, people see color, faith, sexuality, etc. why not look for some commonalities? We are one race…HUMAN. Paganism is not ONE path, but as I’ve stated before, an “umbrella” term for many other paths. I was reading this hot mess when it struck me…damn! This woman is serious in what she is writing here. How silly for someone to be that naive in their thinking that paganism is a faith unto itself. And what is truly sad is that she is teaching this drivel to her young. She thinks that it’s an “us” against “them” mentality and I want to challenge that thinking. We all have to live in this world…why make it any harder than it already is for people? Why make yourself the stumbling block to someone who may perchance have been seeking a little something and run across your trash on the web posted in the guise as a helpful work? Think before you speak people. Stop forcefeeding fluff to the seekers..those who dont know any better to look at you and say “really? It’s tiring sometimes to read a lot of things, and I’m sure others may not like hearing what I have to say..solution? don’t read it..simple as that. But I’m going to keep speaking out against fluff and ignorance every chance iIcan and hope to the gods someone starts paying attention sometime soon.

Peace Out

“I hate pagans” was first thing that jumped out at me in chat today…Seriously funny coming from a Wiccan friend who is great in her humor, knowledge and friendship.  She obviously didn’t mean the pagans she was speaking to, but its funny where the conversations go sometimes. We were reading a blog from someone who claims to be minister(from somewhere online is where she got her license) of a church in Tn.  It was full of southern cliche’s   and shame that pagans would “down” other pagans.  I have to disagree with her.  Pagan is an “umbrella” term.  It covers everything outside of the Abrahamic faiths, so would encompass quite a number of paths from everything from Buddhism to Wicca and lots in between.  The infighting of various pagan churches are much the same as any other faith.  It’s because people let their egos get in the way of spirituality.  There are those who claim the label of pagan/wiccan and are in it to get noticed in the pagan community and make money. I have no issue with making paper, but not at the expense of dispensing bullshit for knowledge.  That to me is just unethical, but hey, if you can live with it..who am I to say?..ok I will say..STOP! That is the reason people are the little retarded fluffs running around thinking its all love and light, “harm none” and 3-fold law is real.  It’s made up… People who come seeking deserve better. Then you have those who really desire to teach.  Those are the special ones.  the ones who impart knowledge to others without expecting much in return, maybe a thank you or a pay it forward.  Those are the ones that should be searched for. But they are hard to find.  I’ve been in and around enough groups to recognize when I’m being used because of things I know, appreciated for who I am because of that same thing, or removed from said group because someone felt “threatened” by the things I know.  It’s crazy really when one thinks about it.  I mean, I have met many people who know more than I, and am excited about learning what they know..no envy, no feelings of insecurity.  So why slam people for speaking out against those who are a. either just in it for the money or b.  couldn’t find their ass without GPS ? To me, its just the right thing to do.

Today is the time where everyone stops to think of freedom in this country.  Small towns across the country hold parades, firework shows and everyone gets down to the business of the bar-b-ques that are sure to happen with family and friends.   But what does that word really mean?  Webster defines it as a state of liberation from slavery and independence from another.  Does that still apply to us today?  I know that we are freer than some countries, but little by little our freedoms are being usurped by those we have placed into office to help run this country.  The “patriot act” is just nothing more than a way for “big brother” to spy without having to answer for it in the name of catching terrorist, when in reality, they have those tools already in hand yet ignore their most basic intel that would help them thwart such attacks(I’m not a part of the conspiracy crew..this is known fact in the news lately..read for yourself).  Women’s rights are being taken away, with some states, such as Georgia, Mississippi, and others making a woman “prove” that her miscarriage was from a natural act and not an abortion..WTF?  How stupid is this? As far as I know..Roe v Wade made this legal and as such, if one were to have one..its done in a doctor’s office, and not in the back alleys from days gone by.  Having to prove loss(when this is often traumatic event for most women) or that they were in fact raped is ludicrous.  It places women back in the day of being chattel and I for one will not go without kicking and screaming.. There are those who claim if you belong to a church or the Catholic persuasion, if you believe in a right to choose, then you are not a good…catholic, baptists, (fill in your denomination here).  In truth, people are believing in that person’s right..freedom to choose what is the correct choice for their life..People are screaming  about religious rights ..and in some cases, they may have a point..But it falls on both sides of the fence.  There are those fundamentalists who demand that the country be done as in the day when the Declaration of Independence was signed..hate to disappoint ya’ll but NOWHERE does it say that this country was christian.  “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are  Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  This statement came to represent the views of  marginalized groups and the moral compass upon which this country should strive for.  Many of the original signers were deists..That is they believed in a higher power, and yet not “god” as some would claim it today.  They believed that one had the right and privilege to worship as they saw fit.  One that benefited them spiritually as well as society..In other words..we’re not out here on our own doing as we will.  We have obligation to make our particular world a better place.  My Gran always told me..”to whom much is given, much is required”.  I respect that.  There are some who feel they have nothing to offer.  Really? I’m sure if you think about it, there is something you can do.  Doesnt have to be big..giving a neighbor a ride somewhere, listening to someone’s problem(even if you dont have an answer)..small things, but appreciated to be sure and increased positive flow in your little corner of the world.  There are just as many on the other side of the fence as well who claim persecution because they live in certain places(Bible Belt comes to mind)Now while I respect that there may be some isolated incidents, I havent had an issue nor heard of one on a wide-scale basis.  Yet as they scream they are being “hated” they are speaking, and wearing shirts with inflammatory sayings on them.  Just what does that mean?  That they demand to do as they will and you have to like it?  I don’t think so.  Even as a pagan, I am not a fan of flaunting anything in someone else’s face.  Why?  Well it comes down to respect and personal responsibility.  I am responsible for my actions.  I was raised to accept people as they are, and if we didnt click..move on.  Being raised on Army bases all over the world, one gets a view of what freedom really means.  One is liable to meet people from many walks of life, different cultures as well as faiths.  My dad always said..”we are one color…O>D> Green-that would be olive drab for you nonmilitary)..that would make us Army people..nothing more.  That carried me through my whole life even when I left home, joined the service myself and then as I entered civilian life and raised a family.  Freedoms are hard won, not to be taken lightly nor perverted into something one groups(s) think they should be.   Real men and women gave their lives for them. They deserve our respect and so the people we come into contact with on a daily basis..no matter if they are rich, poor, somewhere in between, gay, straight, christian, pagan(something in between).  We are Americans.  We are one race:HUMAN.

Lately its been a drag and drain on the energy surrounding me. Usually when things gets really crazy, I go and sit out at my favorite place. Know the kind I mean..the place where you walk with bare feet and feel the connection with mother earth and one with the universe? I have such a place near by. It is the Shiloh national battlefield. I know some might think that a civil war battlefield might be a strange place to go and find center, but for me, it speaks to my spirit like very few places. I love to go and walk though the cemetery, just feeling the soft energy flow and wander through to the water’s edge. I know the history of the Union boats coming up the waterway and the huge battles that ensued upon their landing, but water has always called me and the serene scene that surrounds me there blows the cobwebs out of my head, allowing me to pull inside and shift things to breathe a little easier. One of my other favorite place to go there is under the cherry trees in the orchard a couple miles down the road within the park, It is said that in the battle, the cherry blossoms flew like snow as they were tugged from their branches amidst the volley of musket balls.Now as one sits under the shade of the trees, and smell their sweet blooms, it is hard to imagine something so harsh as war. I can feel the soulful energy of the spirits who lost their lives their and their sense of sadness at the loss of life. But then too, in the renewal and growth of the trees is the promise of new life and renewal ..and that is why I am here. To renew spirit, recharge my batteries so to speak so that I can once again get back to the work I am supposed to be doing. We all need sanctuary..that place where we can just brush off the daily grind and energy dust from others. One cant help but collect some of it as we go through our daily routines..its almost inevitable, but we dont have to keep it. Sometimes when we deal with things daily, like chronic illnesses, family issues, etc, it can bog us down. So when you feel like things are too much..go and seek out your place to just let go…recenter, recharge then get back to work 🙂

Last night I was reading on Pagan Mystics board about Cerunnos,whether he was in fact deity or not. It was a great discussion, full of knowledge and proof of what people were speaking about. Nice conversation actually. But in enters the fluffy asshat, Sean. The first thing he states is that the god(?) in question has worshipers, answers prayers and to suggest he not be up to our standards of scholarship not be a god is suicidal. Now first lets just say that in this day and age…I dont know anyone who worships Cerunnos as deity solely in their practice, and expects him to answers prayers. and his use of the word scholarship(which he misspelled)was incorrect. So he was asked to explain..twice. So again he says that many feel the gods work for them, and that scholarship is worth more than belief. Ok..I had heard enough, so out comes my snarky self., First I lit in that the term was misused..scholarship pertains to financial support while one is learning. One can be scholarly whilst learning. and as for expecting the gods to work for us? I’m sure that caused laughter somewhere among the deities. Really? One can petition for your desires to be obtained(its done as such on many paths), but you cant just order things to be done because you say so. Or I’m thinking we would all be having some cool shit. I agree that knowledge is power. One learns all they can about your path, yourself and history so as to not make you look so ignorant. Did he leave? umm..no. he then pointed out that Cerunnos poked a hole in the weather and one place had sun while there was rain all around. Yeah..ya’ll read correctly, and I can hear the laughter now. My response? Weather patterns happen all the time..its called “scattered showers”..a natural phenomena.. its obvious you have lived in fluff land too long..gathering up enough lint to catch the dryer on fire.’ I had never heard of the god in question controlling the weather actually…that would have been Zeus..another set of pantheon altogether..Cerunnos is Celt, Zeus from the Greek. Sometimes one hears some crazy shit on these boards. Was Sean done? Sadly no. He claimed to have been dyslexic so had problems spelling(in truth only word misspelled was scholarship), and yet had a genius IQ. I laughed, told him that did not excuse ignorance and go back and read the thread because he might have learned some things. That effectively shut him up, and others could go back to having their discussion. Now here is my thing. I could pass off my snarkiness as I was drinking last night, yeah..I do that from time to time, but those of you who know me well, know that I despise ignorance. If one is going to jump right into an intellectual conversation, and you voice an opinion, make sure  that what you state is in fact opinion rather than a bold statement and pass it off as fact. And if one is going to lay claim to having a genius IQ, then act like you have some intelligence. I myself have enough intelligence to know what my limits are. Can I carry on an intellectual conversation? Most of the time.. if I know enough about the topic at hand..Contrary to what many think, I don’t know everything about everything..Am I above having a little fun with some things? Nope..After all, life is too serious to stick to the mundane. Unfortunately one sees too many people running around trying to prove how intelligent they are, speaking on several different subjects when in actuality, they show just how much they have to learn. I am for learning every day. I learned from the thread in question..It had a lot of info that I had not read before, other things to consider. I like conversations like that. I enjoy intelligent conversations with people who back their shit up…Not some asshat coming in and throwing fluff on the floor and demanding we view it as a mohair carpet. Not happening..Not from my perspective anyway. Intelligent Quotients are nothing more than a number..a tool used to measure for those who hang their lives on such. For me..I have met people who’s IQ were in the stratosphere and yet could not comprehend the common sense in picking up after themselves. Truthfully numbers do not measure how intelligent you are, but how you retain such knowledge and function on a daily basis. I know people who have disabilities, that on face value, society would place in a corner somewhere, and yet they have the ability to see people for who they really are and do things that others thought were an impossibility for them. So who in fact was “genius” there? The ones who dismissed such a person, or the one who defied those odds and did what they felt inspired to do? I’m going with the latter. We are the only ones who limit ourselves. If we think that we are unable to learn something, do something..whatever it may be..then we have already lost the war. Knowledge is power..but for one to access that power, one has to be ready to fail..Fail? Yep…fail. We dont always get it on the first try you know..Sometimes we have to pick ourselves up, reassess the issue at hand and try something else to achieve that goal. That is the real power.