Category: path related

So, I’ve been thinking.    yeah..those who know me well are undecided at the moment  whether or not they should sit and watch with a bowl of popcorn or hide from what is surely about to hit the fan.  But anyway, I was watching a conversation about the use of personal things in ritual work, such as urine, menstrual blood etc.  Some were repulsed, others not so much.  So being my opionated self, I decided to delve into this.

So let’s go into a little background about using menses in ritual work.  Many traditions from Taoists to the Egyptians involved the ingestion of menstrual blood mixed with red wine to increase spiritual power.  The Ancient Greeks included the mixing of menses with corn and spreading it upon the ground to increase fertility.    The Ogala Sioux traditionally had purification ceremonies for a girl to be consecrated as a Holy woman to be revered by the whole tribe. Some aboriginal people use this as a basis of women’s magic which makes it damn important.   At one time a woman’s “moontime” was considered to be when she was at the height of her power. It coincided with lunar cycles, tides and was considered to be a cosmic event. About  5000 years ago, it was later distorted into a time of “uncleanness” and women were forced to be apart , unable to participate in the preparation of food for men, or participate in ceremonies. It moved away from a spiritual connectedness with the earth and universe and the pendulum swung over to a patriarchal type of religion in which women were considered secondary citizen in many ways.  It began to be considered a time of “curse” because after all in biblical times, Eve was given this as a sign of disobedience to god..she would bleed, her life giving force to be excreted instead of being used to nourish a child within her., once a month unless she became with child.

With all we know of backgrounds , and the fact that many paths work differently, I find it interesting that some would absolutely sneer at the use of personal issue.  I know of some paths who take the “curse” part and use it accordingly.  It works damn well.  Some use it for love spells..now that is one that one should be damned sure you want the other person since this one is powerful enough to connect you to them.  Also it can be used for protection such as urine in a witch bottle.   The part many have to get past I guess is the way they feel about it in their own life.  If they find it inconvenient, or something worse than death(have heard that mentioned before), then they will of course find it unappealing to use in ritual work.  Some feel squeamish at the collection part of it, but in truth, one should be familiar with your body and with its functions so why should you go all childish at the thought of taking something natural and using it? Many consider it waste, since it is flushed from the body as it were , but I find that even though it’s not being used as was its original intent , it still holds the nutrients that it would have used to nourish a child.  It’s not for everyone I know, much the same way that the use of animal sacrifice or bones are not.  Some do not practice much more than the use of herbs, candles or incense (if at all) so to venture off their strict (and for me limiting) path fills them with a sense of revulsion.  But magic is messy, somewhat smelly and definitely limitless if one but chooses to embrace other areas.  What it really comes down to is how you want to infuse yourself into your working.  What you feel about yourself.  Much has been made about exclusion of self..whether it be bodily functions, parts of self such as nails, hair because of cultural beliefs, personal preferences, religious views and just general view of their own path they walk.  To my own thinking as I walk my path, that limits how I choose to work. It’s the same for me as someone saying they could never curse because they don’t harm others.  I call bullshit because I am sure they are not perfect people and somewhere at some time have been cruel to someone with their actions or speech.  Kind of blows that out of the water huh?  So when someone says they could never use bodily fluids in workings, I kind of want to ask them just WHAT do they use when they kick?  Why would you not use something so intensely personal to hex someone or protect yourself? I myself have no problem with it but I can understand that it is not for everyone.  Some just can’t get past that societal squeamishness that infuses their belief system.  But even if you choose to not include it, at least give the same respect you would wish for others to offer you at your offerings.  To equate them as something such as mucous snot(which is a by product of cold or allergies btw, not a bodily function that occurs as a natural cycle) is more than a little insulting to those who choose to accept such functions as a normal process of their path.  I would expect better of my peers. I demand better of my friends because respect is a two way street. I think as adults we can concede that we will not agree on everything, nor should we. But we can accept that we all have our own beliefs, practices without speaking without thought and trod on others because of our revulsion, beliefs, or prejudices. For me, that is my personal line in the sand.  I may not understand how you work or believe, but I will respect your right to do so.  I just ask the same from others.

tempête parfaite

I am Elsewhere.  I recognize this because this is unfamiliar to me.  Usually when I travel it’s to places that I know pretty well, but this garden, I have never seen before.  It is elegant and lush but has a wildness to it that in the mundane I would probably enjoy, but since this isn’t a place I know, I am on guard.  I get the feeling of not being alone and look over my shoulder and see Dav.  WTF? Why am I here with him and not his brother?  Corwvyn had another mission he tells me and will meet us on the other side.  Wait. WTH are we doing here and why, I demand to know.  Dav smiles…I need your help, and asked others who said you could do this.  It never occurred for you to ask me?   He shook his head..I needed their permission anyways.  Well FUCK! We walk through the garden for a bit, speaking little because I rarely speak when I’m pissed and I was more than a little ticked off that my services would be offered without someone letting me know beforehand.  The thought of visitor in the glen comes to me, but I push that away..because why should he care what this elf does? Suddenly Dav turns and speaks..Look, it does me no good for you to be mad at me and not speak.  I guess I should have gotten a message to you explaining, but there really wasn’t time in my schedule to do so.  I glare at him and quietly tell him that I have no need to speak to do as he asks of me, so can we just move on with whatever the fuck this is.  He shakes his head and begins walking again.  Soon he stops me with a raise of his hand and we peer through a vine that is more like  a screen concealing what appears to be civilization ahead of us.  It is a stone courtyard and in the middle are 3 poles.  There are people milling around, dressed in their finery as if they are attending a party of sorts or some matinee.  Just past the poles sits a castle commons complete with a balcony overlooking the whole area.  I look at Dav who is staring intently with his jaw clenched.  A crowd of people soon appear on that balcony.  Someone who looks like a priest in their resplendent red robe, some sort of cabinetry people and then she appears.  The queen herself in red dress that to me looks her makes her look like she was dressing for the prom and failed..miserably, but I’m guessing I am not here to critique her attire.  As she appears, the people who had been milling around begin to clap and call her name…Aaryana.  I look towards Dav again but see I will get no help from him for explanations because he looks like a keg of dynamite about to explode.    I sigh and turn back to watch the scene play out in front of me.  A gesture is made for the people to quiet and at once they do so.  Well trained I think sarcastically. Aaryana begins to speak.  As you all know, she begins, we have had trouble with some that refuse to accept that our way is best for the people.  They have caused us nothing but trouble and I have decided that I will get their attention quickly. I will prove to them that to not fall into line will only bring them pain.  She gestures…bring forth the prisoners.  I watch as I see a woman with two small children led forth with shackles around their necks connected by chain and their hands behind their backs.    I am incredulous.  How could someone do that to children I want to know.  The heat from Dav is growing and I know that if he continues, it will blow, so I touch his arm.  Be easy.  It will do them no good for you to be so angry that you cannot think through your plan and bring it to fruition. He nods, and continues to watch.  We watch as we lead the prisoners to the center of the square and stop them in front of the poles. The woman speaks to the children gently trying to ease their fear at being treated in such a horrible manner. The guards remove the shackles one by one and tie each one to a pole facing the queen.  She is smiling , leering really as if she cannot wait to taste their blood.  This is all for show I realize, because she would have preferred to killed them instantly and dine on their entrails, but I realize she is after a bigger prize and he stands beside me.  Your family I ask him?  Yes, he says quietly.  My wife, Dressia, my son Kal and my daughter Davla. How old are the children I ask. Three summers he tells me.  I sigh heavily.  I understand why I am here now.  Not because Dav could not handle this with others, but because of the children.  So, what is the plan I ask?  We wait for now he says.  So again I turn my attention back to the scene at hand where once again the mad queen speaks.  This is the enemy she tells those of her court.  Seeds of those who would thwart our cause.  One who gives life to those seeds.  Jebus I think to myself, she is fucking crazy with her desire to kill children. The queen continues.  We have placed them here as a reminder to those who continue to fight against us that we can and will hold their hearts in our hands and devour it without mercy.  I see movement, just a glimmer .  Maybe I was mistaken because it is no longer there.  I shake my head, but then closer to the poles still, I see a familiar face.  Corwvyn! So he is on the inside.  I realize that he is not alone because I see other elves placed here and there among those milling in the courtyard accepting as gospel everything the mad woman says.  Why did I not notice them before?  They lifted the veil says Dav.  I look at him and he grins.  Corwvyn is right…you think loudly when trying to find order.  I laugh softly..yes I do.  I also tend to forget that I don’t have to speak to convey thought here.  So we watch.  I see Corwvyn and a couple of the others move closer to the poles and he places a finger to his lips so that the prisoners do not give them away.  As soon as they are close enough, Dav touches my arm..Come this way.  We move as quietly as we can toward the courtyard cloaked in a type of silver fog that seems to roll in from nowhere.  I see the queen frown at the apparent marring of her perfect tableau and hear her ask someone beside her what is happening.  They don’t seem to know either. We manage to slip in beside the others and I see a knife shine as it removes the bindings.  Carry her I am told as the girl is placed in my arms.  She feels so light, like a feather really and I can see that her features are perfect with her piercing grey eyes and silver hair. Are you hurt I ask her and she shakes her head no. I see that others also have a captive and then we move not back from where we had come from but forward toward the castle entrance.  Why are we moving inside I wonder.  We have to enter the ground floor to go back through the main gate someone tells me.  I wonder again why nobody has chased us yet and again receive an answer that the fog itself has a confusion agent and while others can see what is taking place, they do not comprehend why it is doing so or have a need to stop it.  Damn good stuff I think, I could use some of that. I hear a chuckle from Corwvyn.  You have plenty of other things at your disposal he tells me.  So off we move into the castle.  And stopped.  The Queen who was above the fog could see it, but because she was not in it, still has an ability to think. NO!!!! she screeches.  I swear she could have cracked windshields with that yell.  I see her advisers behind her as if they do not think for themselves, and probably do not. You cannot leave she yells at Dav who sneers at her and tells her that if she moves to stop him, he will remove her heart while she yet breathes.  Aaryana blanches to a paler shade of white which would be almost transparent if that was possible. It’s as if she knows that she just may have gone too far in the fight against her brother.  Wait.  Brother? I see the resemblance between them now and wonder just wth have I been pulled into now. We are allowed to leave and I hear her yell as we do so that this is not over.  Dav turns with his arm around his wife, and says,  Aaryana, hear this today..we are no longer family.  I curse the day you were born for here after.  I curse everything that is your life.  I will dance upon your funeral pyre and if I ever have the opportunity to do so, will be the one to bring that demise about.  He then turns and gathers us our group and we move to the door which opens at his command.   I hear the arrow before it comes into view.  Although it was not meant for me, the aim is untrue and before I let it hit the child I put my left hand up where it grazes it and falls silent upon the cold stone floor.  Corwvyn is beside me at once.  You all right he asks? I look at my hand and see only a small red mark so reassure him that I am. I look back at the queen who has a bow in her hand who is trying to load another arrow.  Definitely NOT part of her training I think.  Davla I tell the child..I know you can do this, but probably have not done so before but I need you to think with me, direct that thought toward the bow.  As we do, there is a silver stream of energy directed at the bow itself which disintegrates within Aaryana’s hands.  She looks confused then looks at me and the others.  A realization flits across her face and I see a myriad of emotions, anger, confusion, fear.  This is NOT finished, she repeats yet again. It is today says Corwvyn as he directs me and the child out the door.  We move quickly without looking back and soon I find us back in a small secluded camp.  I place my charge down who runs to her parents and they all cling to each other.  I sit talking quietly with Corwvyn and we are soon joined by his brother.  I cannot thank you enough Dav begins.  But I did nothing I tell him, but carry your daughter.  He smiles.  Ahh but you did.  I always knew that Davla was special from the day she arrived.  She has those powers that are born to a witch, but I had no idea how to show her that. You did today.  I only directed her thoughts I said.  She did as I asked and I didn’t doubt that she could do it.  Nor did I said Dav.  She will need some instruction of course, but I needed for her and others to see that she is not powerless.  Crazy I think to myself as Dav once again rejoins his family.  Corwvyn entertains me of family stories of growing up with their sister and of the family keep which is where we were. He then tells me of family history that tells of  one who holds power within that will become a leader to her people.  So Dav thinks his daughter is the one I ask? Her birth was at the right timing of conjunction of planets and moons he tells me, as well as the qualities she displayed early on and then the connection with you today reaffirms his beliefs.  I shrug.  That is a lot of responsibility thrust upon one so young I say.  She will be taught, but also allowed to grow he tells me.  She is loved as their child not only as a leader of her people.  Come, I will take you back to the bridge where Brin waits for you.   We say our farewell’s and make our way to the bridge where indeed Brin does await my return.  Thanks for the help Shae he says.  I’ll come see you soon and we can hang out.  He gives me a hug then walks back across the bridge.  I am tired I tell Brin, let’s go home.  I am soon lying in my bed, and think..wait.  I should be sound asleep, not feel like I am still awake and traveling.  My hand throbs and I look at it.  Holy shit!  It has turned black!  WTH was that arrow tipped with?  I get my phone and take a picture to send to a friend who might have an answer.  As soon as I hit send it seems as if I have a response.  Sit tight I am told, we are on our way.  Wait.  Who is we I wonder.  I feel so tired and wonder when my friend will arrive and soon I hear her voice in my ear.  I’m here.  Let me look .  I feel her lift my hand but do not open my eyes because it seems to take too much effort.  I hear someone else speak.  I don’t know the voice, but it seems familiar if that even makes sense, and it says that I have been poisoned and need to have it flushed from my system immediately.  As the voice keeps speaking, I seem to drift away from it melting into nothingness which concerns my friend, and yet the voice picks me up as if I am nothing but air and tells her and Brin to follow him.  I do not know where we went, nor what occurred as the vileness is removed from my body.  I do know that where I awoke was not a place that I am not familiar with except for being told of it. I open my eyes and look around.  My friend sits near with worry in her eyes, and Brin also hovers close.  Ya’ll know that I’m fine right I tell them.  You weren’t about a day ago says my friend, so excuse the hell out of us for sitting here a little bit worried and a whole lot pissed. I laugh because I know that her anger is her release over the worry and confusion.  I’m sorry I made you worry.  I certainly had no clue that anything was wrong, but I do know that a certain queen is about to be handed her ass before long.  Indeed says my friend, but that belongs to another day.  Thank you for the help .  I did nothing, but guide my “friend” to you and it was he who knew what was right to do.  Thank him too I say.  I will pass along your message although I’m sure he will say as I do that no thanks are necessary. Brin will take you home now so you can get some real rest, and I will catch up with you later.  I am carried along in Brin’s capable arms, and tucked in safe and warm where I fall into a deep dreamless sleep and awake this morning tired somewhat but reviewing certain details in my mind.  I know now that the work spoken of before has a definite detail now of instruction and guidance and that it may or may not come with dangers that I am now more aware of.  Tomorrow I will go back to the spiders and we will make up a plan of action.  In the mean time I am grateful for those in my life that while they do not always understand my path, are still willing to stand beside me and help when and where they can.

tempête parfaite

I am falling into nothingness and land softly in a familiar place.  I feel the fire’s heat warming my bones which seem to stay cold as I travel between.  I can smell the herbs on the fire filling me with their peace and overwhelming sense of home.  I feel Brin’s presence nearby. It makes me smile, then frown as I sit up and survey the private glen that gives us refuge when I just want some alone time.  Why am I here?  I know things have been little over the top at times, but haven’t felt the need to come here or go to the swamp as of yet.  Seeing my confusion Brin smooths back my hair, and hums softly.  She tells me that I will be having a visitor arrive soon and he requested a private place to meet that would not draw undo attention. A visitor?  Jebus! who would dare have the balls to invade what is a private sanctuary? Then I smell the unmistakable smell of cigar and spiced rum. WTF!?! Here? He would come here? Shit! What in the hell have I done now? “Nothing” he tells me with a laugh.  “Sit”, he said motioning back to the log where I had been perched.  It is only then that I realize I had stood up as he came through the entryway.  I sit back down.  “To what do I owe the honor”? I ask.  It is a time before I hear an answer.  My visitor lights his pipe, pours himself a drink which seems to have materialized from thin air.  I wait. And I wait.  It seems like an eternity passes and my patience is wearing thin.  I want to yell at him “Out with it!” Finally when it seems as if I can’t stand it any longer, he smiles and winks.  “Patience is a virtue I have heard”, he says chuckling.  I roll my eyes, and shake my head at his little joke.  “Since when have you known me to be patient about anything where you are concerned,” I retort.  Throwing his head back, he roars with laughter.  “Agreed”.  “But you are learning to stay quiet on the outside even if inside you are screaming for those to speak”.  Now it’s my turn to laugh and agree with his statement.  Again I wait.  Surely he didn’t come to just hang out with me.  “Why could I not ma petit”? he asks.  I shake my head smiling.  He laughs.  “I came to speak about your traveling plans”.  Traveling plans?  I don’t have those, although to be honest, I often don’t make a plan when I drift in the in between..I just show up.  “There are things happening that you are aware of on the peripheral, but now will be asked to join en force , so I came to make sure you understand what is being asked of you and the need to protect yourself even more”.  I understand the protection part.  I’ve been feeling the pull of the spiders.  Another layer of webs are indeed to be in the works.I nod slowly.  So…am I to travel soon I wonder.  “We are patient”, he says.  “You will begin work soon on the protections: he says as he looks over at Brin who nods.  Great I think..Another trip to the otherworld among snarky spiders.  My visitor laughs, “You should get along amazingly well with snarky spiders” he says.  I grin.  Well perhaps, but I think one in particular has me beat in that department.  So…he has come here to tell me protect myself and get ready to work.  Lawd…what DO I get myself into at times.  Again he laughs loudly.  “Cher, you are so easy to read, and your comments make me smile, but you know and have always known what is required.  “.  I sigh and cup my hands around the glass that seems to have just appeared.  “You know drinking with you gets me into a lot of shit”, I tell him laughing, but I bring the glass to my lips anyway.  To hell with playing it safe..well as safe as some would like me to walk.  So we sit and talk of things that was, things to come and those that might be.  I feel energized and awake as I realize that I really have been dragging my feet.  “Thanks for being patient”, I tell him with a rueful smile.  “Things happen as they are meant to and in their own timing.” he tells me.  He drains his glass and stands to leave.  “I will see you again soon” he tells me, reaches out to brush my face.  And then as quickly as he arrived, he is gone.  I sit quietly, drinking the rum, feeling its smooth spiciness warm me from the inside out.  I look at Brin.  “You knew he was coming”? I ask.  She nods.  Well of course she did,  I tell myself.  NOBODY gets near without her consent.  “You could have warned me”, I tell her gently.  She laughs.  “Ma petit, what would you have done..panicked? Non.  He comes as he does, so you can speak to him as an equal, not as a child who is afraid of  spooky tales or putting yourself out on the edge for others”.  Oh. Well, there is that.  He has already spoken about the equal part which boggles my mind.  It’s hard to wrap my head around really, but I’m learning.  So Brin and I sit staring into the fire, and I find myself becoming drowsy.  No wonder really since the alcohol combined with the energy of my visitor, I feel like I’ve been awake for days.  I find myself being held closely and hear the familiar song that reassures me that the world is as it should be.  I’ll check with the spiders later I think.  “Indeed” says Brin who pauses only momentarily in her soothing me into a restful sleep.  I drift off to sleep, thinking as I do that I have work to do….later.

tempête parfaite

Sometimes it is amazing that one receives validation from various places when you are not looking for them.  Such has been my case the past week.  Hell has been calmer, I’ve worked hard enough to get a 3 day weekend, and then there are the little things,, such as the feeling of getting water flicked at my face for attention, when there is no water near or anyone else for that matter, birds that aren’t usually out when I leave for work are suddenly swooping in front of the car as if they lead the way for me.  Even messages left for me from friends give me direction .  While things around me are a little shuffled, and I have had several tell me since my health issues to step away, leave it to others, I stood still.  To catch my breath for one, but mostly to listen…really listen to the messages from those who have always guided me well.So today when I was awakened by the little girl who brightens my days and her just as hyper dog, I realized that my knee was extremely sore.  If I put it to the mundane,  I could have dismissed it as an overuse this week, but in truth, that was normal thing for me. Or I could say it’s going to rain so bothers the arthritis there, but that too is normal.  So why do I believe it is something else?  Because I was traveling last night. To a place that welcomes me every time I have need to go. I was in the swamp. Not too far from where the cabin sits, but not in Brin’s clearing.  This was a special place,  confined and enclosed within the moss hanging from the Mangrove trees. I sat in the bottom of the boat as it was steered closer.  I could smell herbs as they wafted on the breeze, feeling the energy flow over and around me, embracing me as it pulled me closer.  As I began to come into the bank, I could feel it.  The rhythm of the drums.  They seemed to call my name in welcome and I was eager to be within the confines of the circle.   I pulled my cloak around me and stepped onto the earth which seemed to pulse with life in time to the drums which  gathered me  in and pull me closer.  As I reached the outer edges of the circle, I could see those who guide me, counsel me and sometimes chastise me when I’m not listening.  Their ceremonial garb and painted sigils tell me that this is no ordinary dance..this is more like corroborree, full of ceremony, ritual,…special circumstances.  As I step in, I am met by Maman, who hugs me warmly and whispers to me that she is glad that I have decided to come.  As if I had a choice I think….”you always have the choice” was the response.  There are others in this circle that are important party of my path and I am welcomed in as an equal.  Equal?  No fucking way am I equal to them! And yet the answer I hear is that we are equal…its human nature to place the divider…there are rules for some that are not in place for others, and they are the conduit to do the work necessary.  All the while the drums have been low, just seeming to vibrate, but now their song of knowledge, magic, protection and love is getting louder, sweeping over the clearing, embracing one and all there.  My feet seem to twitch at a long forgotten dance, one that has not been done for some time.  I feel the heat on my hand and the sigil there seems to glow as if to reassure me, and I feel a hand take mine.  I look into familiar eyes and smile, and so we begin to dance.  Twisting, twirling, turning with the beat of the drums moving through us as if we are non corporeal beings  and are one with the energy flow.  Time has no meaning in the elsewhere so I could not tell you how long the night lasted.  What I can tell you is that I awoke this morning smiling, feeling more at peace than I have in some time and aside from the knee’s small complaint this morning, I feel refreshed enough to know that walking away is not an option, because I would lose part of who I am.