Are you for real?

So I’ve been in another form of social media today…Tumblr.  It’s a cute little place, offering a view of those who comment, write little posts, post pictures , etc.  I like it..most days.

So there is one blog that I’ve seen come across the feeds today.  They have a metaphysical store online, do readings(saw them do some free ones on the site itself yesterday), and an interesting blog. Today, I read something interesting.  The girl was telling of a spiritual encounter she had that had her concerned.  First it was just a glimpse from the side that had her undecided if said entity is there or not.  So after she gets offline, yet leaving her computer on for light since she is a little stressed that there may be an entity there, she goes to bed.  She sees the spirit by the door..her only exit out, so then proceeds to freak the hell out.  She then pulls the covers over head and says she can feel bumps, and like the entity is standing on her bed.  Today she has migraine from lack of sleep she says and will not read or mess with the magical in any way since she is freaked out. I asked (anonymously)if perhaps  she had opened a portal(logical thought process).  Her reply?  There were several witches in the house and they are all careful when working within the house.  Wait…Back this magical tour up.  You “read” tarot, do spellwork, sell the metaphysical and sound knowledgeable enough when speaking with others online, and one new entity freaks you out?  There are multiple witches working within one home and ALL protect and shield before they do so?  There are regular spirits whom dwell within the home and you as witch of the abode(although not head ) do not demand to know who they are and what the hell they want? that is about as fucked up as a soup sandwich, so I’m throwing down the bullshit gauntlet. As I explained to a friend who says that they speak and act like others online..that they portray themselves as having knowledge. They offer said knowledge to others..for a price via their store. They read for free on tumblr..I can’t fault them for that because sometimes its a great way to hone skills..reading for unknown people..but the caveat emptor applies to those readings..buyer beware..you get what you pay for sometimes.  It brings to mind the scene in the Wizard of Oz as toto pulls back the curtain to expose the wizard as nothing more than a mere mortal of a man who sold snake oil back in the mundane.
I am not an expert by any means, but as one who walks with a foot in both worlds, I do expect those who claim to have experience to act that way.  To not whine about how scared they are about encounters with a new spirit.   So to the one I mentioned, here it is simply:You  left a light on, probably when you opened to read, and did not turn it off.  That you were the only one to see this new spirit or feel the presence means you called it. Own that and take care of it.  The other house regulars will not be pleased if the situation is not resolved. And ffs…get some education!  You have some interesting energy…now learn something to go with it.  It makes you look like the myriad of people  online who talk a good game and are full of shit. And we’ve had all the fluff anyone can stand.

DEUCES

Chickadee

I am alone.  Seems to be how I spend my time as of late, both in the mundane as well as in the dreaming.  I am in my favorite place to meditate.  High on the cliff overlooking the ocean.  There is a path to my left where I can walk down to the beach if I wish and walk the beach or gather shells or even splash in the waves if I choose, but none of that interests me right now.  I feel cold..Not just physically, but inside as well .  Depressed?  Maybe.  But its more of a need to want to yell at the stupidity I see that keeps perpetuating itself on a daily basis.  I thought I protected myself better..maybe I have been too lax at not keeping the webs pulled tight so that others cannot cross them.  ~shrugs~ Whatever the issue is..it pulls on me and I feel the need to retreat.  There are those I could ask for an assist, but they have enough going on right now, so I tough it out…not like it’s not unfamiliar territory.  So I sit and watch the waves.

“Come climb to my branches Chickadee,” says the tall pines. ” I will gather you close and caress you until you are feeling stronger. ” I smile at the thought of having my face stroked by the feathered branches of a pine tree that stands to remind me of being grounded and connected to the earth.  I smile my gratitude at the tree and thank it for the offer.  But I cannot accept, because to give in would leave me feeling weak and I hate that feeling even more than when I’m feeling this disquiet within me.

“Come fly with me chickadee”, says a voice high above me.  I look up and see a shadow soaring over the waves , silhouetted against the sun.  A hawk dips and soars through the clouds as if he is a kite untethered on the winds.  “I will allow you to feel the winds upon your face, see the sun up close and we can  soar and travel as far as the eye can see”.  The thought occurs to me that this would be most pleasant actually…the idea of running off and leaving what causes the chaos in my life.  But the practicality of it all…yeah that sense of responsibility that seems to be deep seated within my genes wont allow me to do that.  Besides, I would probably turn into Icarus flying so close to the sun and fall into the ocean itself to drown.

“Come dance in the waves, Chickadee”, says a voice far below me.  I look and see a vision of perfection just nearing the waters edge.  She holds  a hand aloft as she waves at me.   Beautiful in her bronze colored dress, her brown skin shining like the finest of chocolate.  I smile as I remember the taste of the honey when last we spoke.  “Come and we will dance among the waves and feel how much love surrounds us”.  I would love to I tell myself, but there is always payment required and I have no offering of honey or perfume to give her for her love and help when I require it.

I continue to sit as the night begins to fall around me, turning the air cooler.  It begins to rain, causing me to become even further chilled.  Suddenly I feel warmth.  I look around and find that one who loves me and guides me has brought my cloak so that I may continue to sit and contemplate things without becoming ill.  I realize it is beginning to rain harder and so I cast a protection around myself and Brin.  She looks askance at me and I tell her, “I know that  you are immune to weather, but I could not hardly sit here in the weather and know that you are here because I am and are getting wet. I continue speaking.  “I don’t know why you can’t just tell me what it is I am supposed to be learning here.  “What the hell am I doing?”  She lifts an eyebrow and looks at me sadly. I continue, crying as I do so.  “Why am I not supposed to know how to do things?  what is the purpose of relearning things I have always known but do not use?” “It’s hard and I feel like I am hanging out here on this web all by myself because people have no damn clue why I do what I do..hell I’m not even sure I do”.  I continue to cry and feel Brin put her arms around me and pull me close.  I can feel her grieve for and with me because she knows that no matter how much I am hurting now, it will pass, because realist that I am, know I still have much to learn and work to do. I see a tear slide down her face, and land upon my hand.  A beautiful amethyst tear.  I begin to pull myself together because this guide , my friend who has been with me for so long..longer than I can remember, is hurting for me because she cannot break her oath..to those who gave her to me..she is to guide..not tell me everything.  she cannot even make decisions for me, just help me clean up the mess when I fuck up..and I seem to do that often. “I’m sorry Brin”, I tell her.  I’ll be fine. “.  We sit a while longer and watch the foam appear on the waves and the shadows creep in as night falls.  I feel somewhat better.  I didn’t solve any major issues, but sometimes one just has to separate yourself from others to cry out about all the perceived injustices of being the responsible party…the adult if you will.  some days that sucks sewer water, and is most damned unfair.

FADE TO BLACK

What now Chicken Little?

Help!  Help! Ebay is persecuting pagan people and tossing all our wares off its site!  Really?  Wonder why it did that?  Maybe it’s just because its had some sort of rule or another since like forever about some of this stuff.  The problem is online stores are catching up with the mundane about services offered and how they are policed.  Many places have ordinances about those who sell readings, spellwork and herbal decoctions.  After all, where is this stuff regulated and who knows if the ones selling it are legit?  There in lies the rub of it all.  When allowed to sell their wares of love spells, hexes, or tinctures to help push the envelope of astral travel, then those sites allowing it to happen are also likely to be held liable should someone seek recourse for a failed spell or worse..physical/mental harm.  Truthfully, there is so much crap floating around for sale, it is hard to tell those who are genuine and those who are only in the business for the money unless you look really hard at them.  Go into larger cities, and you can find botanicas, metaphysical shops, and new agey places.  What you probably will NOT find is someone in there who is knowledgeable about spell work or the herbs used for them, incense correspondences without looking it up.  Oh hey..there’s an idea..buy a book!  Many do just that.  People write books about spells and how to do it yourself even those buying them have little or no experience in doing such.  The truth is that many do NOT practice so have little to no experience with what they write about, make or sell.  Their ingredients may be some run of the mill weed that looks similar to what is actually supposed to be used and it could be toxic.  OMDamn! But where is the “harm none” in all that?  Good question.   Because in most cases the goods are sold to those who haven’t researched enough history to figure out what they need or how to go about achieving it.   Want a job spell?  go walk a bit, put in some applications.  Want a love spell?  Try being yourself and cut out all the bullshit games when you meet someone.  Need something to calm you down “before someone gets hurt”?  maybe you need to see a dr..you know..a real one to rule out any physical or psychological issue before trying magic.  If it is neither of those, try some meditation(that helps even with a dr’s assistance).  or use some herbal blends in teas or a trusted herbal store.  But don’t go seeking some service from someone who had no clue what is going on in your life.
So while people will whine and cry about the loss of revenue and ability to push their snake oil to those who arent sure if they are on the level or not , I agree with it myself.  If you are truly about helping others, you will find a way to do so, whether it be on a site you create yourself and advertise on social media, or even open your own little shop and sell locally.  It can be done.  As for those looking for an easy way to get through life…suck it up cupcake..You are just existing anyway.

Check

I am cold.  so cold that my limbs seemingly are turned to ice and dont have the power to move.  I open my eyes and see only blackness.  not the warm comfort of shadows, but the empty soulless cold blackness  that pervades every fibre of my being.  Where in the fuck am I? “Are you awake Shae?” I hear a familiar voice ask. Corwvyn? Where is he? “I am in a cell just across from yours”, he replies.  I forget that I have no need to speak aloud, so am a little surprised that he answered me.  I am tired of this damn darkness as well, so I pull myself into a sitting position and stretch out my right hand.  “I sure hope George was right when he made me study all those formularies”, I think to myself.  I concentrate and soon a small blue energy ball is bouncing just above my palm.  It’s enough to work as a small penlight and I move my hand around to see my surroundings.  Fuck!  Maybe I should have just stayed in the dark I think.  I am on a cold floor of a cell in what looks like a dungeon.  Great.  Where in the hell am I and I am so fucked when I get out of here.  “We are in the dungeon of the keep.” Corwvyn tells me.  “Aaryana brought us here”.  Ahh..the red queen who acts as if she is the
Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland.   Wonderful. I realize that my cloak is beside me so I pull it to me and instantly feel warmer.  The heat begins to move through me and I can soon stand and move my feet.  Damn..so that’s what being dead is like..sort of.  I hear Corwvyn laugh.  “I’m sure if you ask nicely, our hostess will accommodate that curiosity”. “Fuck you..was just a random thought”.  He laughs…”and if we get out of here..perhaps I can”….”Ok stop right there…You and I will talk on that later”…”Jebus,” I think to myself”. I move around the perimeter of the cell.  Empty and cold is all there is.  Damn, she could at least have provided some hay or something.  Right…She being the good hostess and all.  I soon come to the front of the cell and see that it is iron bars.  O put my left hand to the bar and find that amazingly enough, it goes right through.  WTF? How is this even possible?  So if the hand goes through..maybe my body as well? Worth a try.  I move forward and voila! I am out into a narrow hallway.  “Corwvyn”, I call softly.  “Where are you?” I ask.  “To your right across from you” he answers.  I find the cell and move through the bars there.  I can see him shackled to the wall, with iron shackles around his neck, wrists and legs.  “Damn”, I say.  “Your sister sure didn’t want you leaving any time soon”.  Corwvyn looks at me a little confused.  “How did you get in here?” he asks.  “I’m not really sure.  George has had me studying formularies, moving energy and changing it to morph..so I visualized myself through the bars and here I am.” He laughs.  “Aaryana worries about the wrong one of us, I think”.  I look at the shackles.  “She used iron”? I ask.  “What a bitch”.  I know that the iron was used to hurt the elves in past wars and is one metal they cannot break.  I shrug and look at the shackles closer.  I reach out and touch it, and feel the vibration of the metal.  “What are you doing”, asks Corwvyn.  “Shh”, I tell him.  “I’m listening”.  I move my hand across it and concentrate , feeling the vibration within me.  I hear a click and the shackle falls off into my hand.  “I am not even going to ask because frankly, you are beginning to freak me out with this new power of yours”.  I smile.  “It’s not new.  It’s just newly remembered”, as I think back to a conversation I have had recently with George.  “Now, let me deal with the rest”.  I move to the remaining shackles and as with the first, they all fall harmlessly to the floor.  I pick them up and toss them in a corner in distaste.  I look and see the burns where the iron had been and reach out to help my friend.  “Hold still” I tell him.  “this may sting”.  I place my hands on his neck and begin the healing process.
Soon it is just a small pink line instead of the horrible burn that had been there.  I move on to his hands and feet doing the same each time.  “That is all I can for now”, I tell him somewhat weakly.  “It takes a lot to heal like that without the herbs”.  He smiles and takes my hands into his, and shakes his head.  “You are an amazing witch” , he says.  Corwvyn pulls himself to his feet.  “Are you all right”? I ask.  “I’m well enough”, he replies.  “Now to see about getting out of here.  He moves to the cell front and rattles the bars.  “I’m afraid that I cannot do as you did and apparate through”.  “Maybe I can find the keys”, I tell him and move through the bars.  I move down the hall and see some others in cells, and there on a peg on the wall just ahead is a set of keys.  I hear a noise that sounds as if someone is coming.  “In here girl”, a voice calls to me.  I move into the cell, and extinguish the light.  A guard comes down and stops just short of the cell.  “I could swear I heard something”, he says.  His companion laughs from the top of the stairs.  “The Queen Bitch has us all on edge.  It was nothing”. The first guard shrugs his shoulders and goes back upstairs.  I breathe a sigh of relief as the door slams shut above my head.  I relight my orb and look around to thank the one who’s cell I had been allowed to seek sanctuary and I see him.  Sitting on a pile of cloth rags.  His hair grown out in a long silver cloud that flowed around his shoulders.  His eyes mere white orbs in his dark face.  I realize that physically he cannot see me, and yet is more than aware of where and who I am.  “Are you all right good sir?” I inquire.  He smiles.  “I have been waiting for you to come girl,” he says.  “You knew I was coming?” I asked.  “I could feel the energy building and smelled your scent”, he said.  I shook my head.  Things work on a faster time frame in the elsewhere.  “My name is Shae”, I tell him.  “I am called Draengile””I am honored to meet you”, I tell him. ” I am going to get the keys and open the cell doors”, I tell him.  He nods and I move through the bars again back into the hall.  I reach the keys and quietly  begin unlocking the doors.  As I do the inhabitants of the cells begin to spill out into the hallways.  Women, men, children…all looking at one another as if they cannot believe what is happening or why a human would be doing so.  Draengile   comes out of his cell. He tells them all quietly to stand still and be quiet as possible so as to not attract attention.  They do so.  I finally reach the cell of my friend and let him out. “Took you long enough” he chuckled.  Sorry, I was busy trying not to get my ass caught”.  He looked at me curiously.  “A guard”, I replied.  “I hid in someone named Draengile’s cell”.  “That is my uncle…head of our clan”, he replied.  “I am glad he has survived, because he has been here for over 10 years.” I give Corwvyn am incredulous look.  “Ten years?” “My sister has been at this awhile”, he replies bitterly.  We move into the hall and make our way to where Draengile waits with the others.  “I am most pleased to greet you Uncle”, Corwvyn tells him as he grasps his forearms.  “I told your witch that she took her sweet time”, laughed Draengile.  “She has other responsibilities, bgan Corwvyn”.  Draengile interrupts.  “It was a bit of a joke boy..I know she cannot come at our every beck and call.  Although I am most grateful that she is here”.  “Now let us leave this place before we are found loose”.  “Which way do we go?” asked a voice from the back.  At the hesitation before me, I allow my senses tell me.  “We go forward, down the hall, then to the left.  It leads outside the keep”.  “Then we do as is suggested”, said Draengile.  “Lead the way girl”, he says.  I move to the front of the group with Corwvyn beside me.  “Are you sure you know where we are going”? he asked.  “She knows”, comes a voice behind us.  I give Corwvyn a wry smile.  “Apparently I do”, I reply.  We move stealthily down the hall and come to a huge iron door.  It was locked of course.  Nothing in this keep seems to be open.  “Wait here while I see what awaits us outside”, I say.  I apparate through the door and see that we are just outside the keep near the grape arbors. I return to the others inside and tell them what I see.  “So how are we to get out”, calls a voice in the back.  “We cannot do as the witch does”.  There is a murmur of agreement.  Corwvyn looks at me and arches an eyebrow as if to say…well? I shrug and place my hands on the door as I did the shackles.  I can feel the hum and the door begin to vibrate under my palms.  Then just as before, I hear the latch click and I push it open.  I hear a collective sigh of relief from the captives and we being to file out one by one, some blinking in the dim sunlight, that while not bright was considerably brighter than the darkness they had been held in.  As I watch the children come out , some with parents, others without, I turn to Corwvyn and his uncle.  “Just what in the hell is wrong with your sister that she harms children?” He shrugged helplessly.  “She has always wanted things that did not belong to her”, he began”the children were  taken with their parents so as to not be left behind.  “She still seeks the one from legend”.   “Okay, I am confused”, I say.  “Is not your niece, Davla the chosen?” At this Draengile starts.  “Is this so nephew”? he asks.  “She is”, says Corwvyn.  “And where is she”? I ask.  “Dav has them hidden well until we can sort this all out”, he says.  We begin to join the others who by now have made their way into the edges of the woods past the arbor.  “Neighbors”calls Draengile.  “Might I suggest that we all move toward the sanctuary secluded within the hills so as to not be discovered when they find us all released.”.  They all nodded their ascent, and he and Corwvyn lead the way with me bringing up the rear looking over my shoulder every so often so as to make sure we are not followed.  We walk a long way, stopping often to allow the children to rest since they have been confined a long while and are not used to the exercise.  At our last rest stop, I am sitting under a tree, leaning back against the trunk, gaining energy from it.  I am joined by Corwvyn who takes my hand.  “I want to thanks you”, he begins.  “It is not many who would risk so much to help those not like themselves”.  “Is this a way of getting me to speak on that other subject”?, I ask wryly without opening my eyes.  He leans his head back and laughs loudly.  “No, was serious, but now that you mention it”…I laugh as well.  Your timing sucks Corwvyn I tell him.  “Indeed”, he agrees smiling all the while.  We get up and join the others who are beginning to walk past us.  And we soon arrive to what appeared to be a tall hill covered in briars.  I look at Corwvyn who brings a small pipe from his pocket and plays a small song , and the briars move back to allow us passage.  “Catchy tune”, I whisper to my friend as I move past him.  He grins and follows me as the briars close behind us.  There below us is a small village with campfires and wagons that house families displaced by the arrogant queen.  Dav moves to greet us and hug his uncle.  He then turns to me.  “We seem to be in your debt once more swamp witch”.  he says seriously.  “I am happy to be of service, ” I tell him.  “No payment is required”.  He looks at me and nods, then moves to direct those we have brought with us to where they will be quartered and can find food and healing services if required.  “I really need to get back on-grid”, I tell Corwvyn.  I am so going to catch hell for removing the protection”.  He nods and escorts me to a bridge that I had not noticed.  “This will direct you to Brin”, he said.  He leans forward and kisses me.  “I thank you for coming to my aid, yet again.  If there is ever a need..just say the word and it shall be.”.  I smile and release his hand and begin my ascent over the bridge.  As I come to the other side, I see Brin patiently waiting for me and on a rock nearby is George and the dog.  I sigh heavily because I think this cannot be a good thing.  And yet as I come closer I see on their faces acceptance that this was something that was required of me because of my allegiance to my friends.  “I’m glad I didnt have to come get you this time”, says George gruffly.  “Nice to see you too George”, I say smiling.  I stroke the black dog’s massive head.  “Been hunting”? I inquire.  “No, was waiting to see if you needed the help”, came the reply.  “I’m glad that I did not”, I say.  I could not be sure, but I think I heard him say “me too”.  “George,” I say”I do want to thank you for making me do those extra lessons.  They came in quite handy, I must say”.  He laughs.  As we come to the edge of elsewhere, just about to come back to our own realm..I hear a massive screech.  “What the hell is that?” I ask.  Brin and George begin to laugh loudly.  “That  Cher, is the sound of a queen who has been witchfucked within her own house, and she is most unhappy”.  “Oh”.  I begin to giggle.  “What I did was little of nothing,” I say.  “Just helped some folks out”.  George laughed.  “Sometimes cher, it is the little things that trip up the most powerful”.  I nod and we return home.  I shower and prepare for bed.  Brin sets the snares and checks the webs.  George checks the perimeter and he and the dog set off for who knows where.  I settle sleepily in bed and think of my friend and smile.  This could be interesting I think and grin.  Off to sleep without dreams..which in itself is a good thing since I am damn tired.

Ah… the pain of social media

Social media, social fixer and all of the trappings that come with it can be damn amusing . I have been known to cull my friend lists from those who want to preach at me, those who seem to think my life is open for discussion, those that are there “just because”, those who play an app, then drop out.  So I’ve cut my list down considerably.  Sometimes I see that I too, haven’t made the cut on someone’s list, and that is perfectly fine with me.  So today I get up and find that someone who seems to spend an awful lot of time popping in and out of groups has un-friended me.  I’m laughing because truthfully I wanted to know why. Was I too snarky?  Was it because I didn’t agree with everything you posted?  Or was it because I wanted to appear as a responsible human being?  ~prostrates self~  for the love of elfalba tell me!!! ROFLMFAO.    My status is a sarcastic joke of the situation, fuel added by friends.  And the idea that I would be hurt or dismayed by the situation makes me giggle.  I would have to know you for that to be accurate.  I would have to actually give a damn about you, your life or situation for this to be so.  I don’t.  I do have people like that in my life, and if they were to kick me to the curb, I would hope they would honestly tell me..”hey bitch..this relationship is so not working”.  Truthful, direct and no games played.  See how easy that is? No making excuses, no sleight of hand, just an upfront approach to a situation that isnt beneficial to either party.  So how do ya’ll choose who or what makes the cut? Do you choose to limit family, friends,  who would not understand the page you’ve created, the way you practice, your personal beliefs? Do you allow stalkers to stay just for the amusement value, or decide you’ve had enough of that shit in the mundane and toss their heads to the rubbish pile? I have no rhyme or reason really..just depends on the mood I’m in when I start the process.  I may start with a select few for various reasons, but then continue on through said list .  I was just curious about other’s criteria.  Social media…the pain, the misery, the humor of it all.  Some days I unplug(I know that is hard for some of you to believe), and other days I have to see what else will crop up.  Who would have ever thought that an anti-social witch such as myself would be on social media everywhere?  Certainly not myself.  To those still on my list..consider it as a reprieve because I am sure the list will continue to be whittled away.  to those who choose to walk away now..I bid you sweet parting…don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.  Adieu

What are you growing in your garden?

I read…a lot.  Either here online or actual books.  It’s always been a way of escape for me, stretching the boundaries of my mind, entertaining me, educating me.  Sometimes though, the things I read or see just floor me.  They fill me with a sense of confusion.  What are we doing?  Just what type of humanity are we cultivating? As a gardener of sorts, and having watched masters growing up of grandparents who paid attention to the land and their crops, I make sure what I put in my little plot of earth actually will thrive and make the area a better place.  So it is in our personal lives.
I’ve watched the news where yet another shooting has taken place..this time at a Sikh temple, killing 6 and the shooter being taken out by a police officer. 7 people losing their lives because of hatred and ignorance.  Sikh’s are often associated with Islam because of the dress, but they have different view points. The reasoning for this tragedy hasnt shown itself yet, but will as the dust clears. So. much.ignorance.

There was also a news story I’ve read, and also watched on the local news of a predominately white church that a black couple attended would not allow them to be married there.  Wait.  what? You won’t allow two people who attend the church(but are not members) to be married there even though the preacher you paid agreed to it because of their race?  Do you not realize what year this is? Do you not realize what this does to the faith you profess? Even after they were married at another church down the road(the south is littered with churches at ever street corner) by the pastor of the first church, the pain and humiliation caused by those who claim to be of a faith of love will be hard to erase.  It’s been said that as a white woman I would not possibly understand..perhaps not..but I sure know stupid when I see it. I can see how human beings are denigrated and reduced to less than human.  I have eyes to see the fear, rage, pain, sorrow on the faces and in the hearts of those forced to undergo such ignorance.  I also read energies and can feel that pain.  So while I may not have endured that particular point of stupidity, do not insult me by telling me I don’t understand.  There may be injustices in MY world you wont comprehend on anything more than an intellectual level either, but I wont discount your right to feel empathy for another human being and reach out with a hand of kindness.

The more I look around me at the hatred spewed by those who profess love and faith, it always amazes me that its the exact opposite that comes across.  It isn’t the majority but the select, prolifically  vocal who tilt the view askew, making it seem like one is looking through a kaleidoscope and nothing seems as it should be. Do they not read their own book?  In Isaiah 61:3 it tells them to become as the tree of righteousness in order to glorify god. To be righteous, would be to follow the edicts of their faith, that includes the main commandment to love their fellow man as themselves in order to reflect the love of god.  Seems more than a little contrary to some of the messages I have been hearing as well as seeing around me.  I know that many in the pagan world do not follow any such rules, but how about if one is claiming to be a connection of universal energy…could you not make a case of treating your fellow humans with respect .  That means if they choose to not live as you do, believe as you do or even look like you, you treat them as you wish to be treated.  Even if one doesnt follow a christian path, that one commandment transcends any faith..We are ONE race..HUMAN.  and as such should make a directed effort to act accordingly.  If your mama didn’t teach you any manners, try cultivating some.  You don’t like your neighbors skin tone, either accept that they are different or move the hell out of that particular place.  But dont expect others to respect you if you arent willing to reciprocate.  Life is short.  Try experiencing it without judgments, racism or ignorance.  You might actually find it more peaceful.

 

The Summons

Things can get a little weird when you are not lucidly dreaming and messages are given through others to shut up and listen.  Today I was summoned back to the library.  I’ve been there only twice before and each time I was escorted by those I know well and trust implicitly.  I wasn’t really sure if I could find the way on my own, but when one is given a direct summons, then how can one turn it down right? So, I begin my journey, pulling my cloak around me, not really to ward off chill, but as a way of centering, lowering that frieze of near panic that sits low in my belly and crawls up my spine.  Why am I being asked to present myself?  The first time there, I acquired a place to work, in the shadows of the back, the most recent time I was studying with George who was quite the task master.  I soon find myself standing in front of the nondescript shop front with the slightly askew sign hanging above swinging crazily in the sudden breeze that has begin.  I see nothing amiss, so open the door in front of me.  The bell above rings to signal the shopkeep, as if the crow that begins to caw loudly wasn’t enough to alert him of my presence. “Come in, come in”, he says cheerily.  “I trust your journey  was uneventful”? I nod and wonder to myself as to why he acts as if he does not recognize me.  But I soon see the reason for his spacial aloofness.  She was seated upon a stool just beside the check out counter.  Dressed in what could only be construed as the garb of royalty.  I am taken aback.  I was not expecting to see anyone else since the last time I was here George whisked me out of sight as if I was not to be known to frequent these parts.  My confusion must have shown on my face, because the woman spoke to me gently.  “I’m sure you are wondering why I asked you to come here”, she said.  “My apologies for it being so abrupt”.  “I know that you were here the other day when I needed a book on script for an event I am holding, and I wished that I had gotten to meet you then so that you would not be so taken aback now”.  “My guardian thought it best to keep me out of the way”, I said quietly.  “I have no idea what it is you need to speak to me about”.  “No, m’dear, I am the one who should apologize for my abrupt summons”.  “And where are my manners?  Come, let us retire to the tea I have ordered and we can converse in a more hospitable setting”.   I look above my head at the crow who seems to shrug as if to say,” fuck me..I have no clue either”.  I almost laugh but bite my lip to stifle it as I follow Her Ladyship through the library towards a table in the back that has seemingly been transformer into a rose arbor.  It contains a beautifully sat table with two chairs as well as servants who stand at attention awaiting our entrance.  At once they jump into motion, pulling out our chairs and bringing in tea, sandwiches and tea cakes.  I move to push back the hood of my cloak and as I do so, she smiles. “You are appear younger than I imagined”.  “With all that I had hear, I’d imagined you as an old woman, with gray hair, and yet you are neither.” I laugh.  “I’m not sure how to take that really.  I am ancient as I like to tell my friends…older than most of them, yet not as old as you pictured me obviously”.  She smiled.  “I am so glad you accepted my invitation Shae..may I call you Shae? I want to learn all I can about those who can help when I need it”.  Wait..I think…help her do what, and this was more than an “invitation“.  My confusion had to be showing because she spoke again while pouring our tea as the minions/servants filled my plate.  “I am planning a wedding…It must not be interrupted for any purpose, and I have spoken with one of your compatriots previously and they agreed to help, so if I should need it, can I also count on you as a back up plan?” FOR FUCKS SAKE! I know the compatriot of whom she speaks, have been privy to part of this conversation from their perspective.  How in the hell am I to help if her plan A doesnt work out? “Ma’am “I begin, “I am not certain that I have anything to offer on that front if my friend finds herself unwilling or unable to help you with that”?  She smiles.  “Don’t sell yourself short Swamp Witch”.  “Your guardian assures me that you would be most helpful should I need it, and you are willing”.  That last part was almost said grudgingly by Her Ladyship and this time I did allow the smile play around my lips.  So George was going to give me an out after all.  How very human of him after all.  the thought of George human almost was my undoing and Im sure if he ever found out, I’d never hear the end of it, but it allowed my nervousness to disparate and to see things as they were.  Her ladyship had an event that MUST take place for whatever reason and she was calling in reinforcements to make sure that happened.  “I will be happy to lend whatever assistance I can”, I tell her. She smiles and claps her hands.  “Oh good.  I was hoping you would do so”.  “Please, help yourself to more food”.  I had not even realized that I had eaten any.  As I look up, I spy a familiar rainbowed furry leg among the leaves in the rose arbor.  Oh.  I guess I didnt eat after all.  “No thank you”, I tell her I am fine”.  She continues to eat and speak of the upcoming wedding, about how she herself had personally written the invitations out in a flowing script and had them hand delivered.  She sounded so excited that I couldnt help but think that this good deed of hers..yeah would definitely have a price tag attached.  Ispent several more minutes with her, then she looked at the watch that was pinned to the front of her dress as a jewel.  “Oh my goodness..time just seems to get away with me.  I must leave, but thank you so much for this visit and your help”.  I stood as she gathered her belongings .  “Goodby m’dear.  I hope to see you again”.  And just like that, she was gone.  I shook my head.  “You can come out now George”, I tell him.  He shifts downward to the previously vacated chair wearing a sheepish grin(if such a thing can happen with a spider).   “So …let me see if I can wrap my head around this shit.  First you pull me out of sight before I can see her and tell me stay quiet, now you’re volunteering my services? Is that correct?” George nods.  “I wanted to scope things out first before I allowed the connection.  I know you know others who are connected to her, but this is different from your side”.   I shake my head.  “You owe me lunch you know,”I said as I gestured toward the table.   He laughed and soon the table was laden with all sorts of things.  “I could not allow you to eat just anything without knowing if it would harm you”, he said.  I knew this, and was grateful that he had my back even if I was still a little ticked over the manipulation.  Ah well..it’s not like its the first time nor likely to be the last.   So I ate my lunch and listened as George explained some details and went over some of the formulas he had me study before.  Soon it was time to return home, and George walked back with me because as he said, the shadows were gathering.  I dont mind shadows much, but if it made him feel better, was not going to argue.  We reached my door, and George stopped and looked at me..”You always have the choice Cher, don’t forget that”.  Out of my head spider,lol…”I know”, I tell him.  “But thanks for caring enough to remind me”.  He nods then disappears.  I have GOT to learn how to do that I think. I make my way inside and lie down on the bed to think things through.   This could either be damned interesting or a fucking train wreck. Either way the energy is going to be damned intense.  I need more rum and or sleep…either order works for me.

Because I can?

It’s been noted that at times I say things or ask questions that others will not say or ask for themselves.  Why is that?  Maybe it’s because I am an opinionated witch and I usually have an opinion, or maybe its because I am not fully invested in the topic at hand and so have nothing to lose by asking, or maybe I get tired of seeing others treated like shit, so will speak for them.  Whatever the reason behind my doing so, I seem to be able to ask or say the hard questions that others want to know the answer to.

I choose to be vocal for those who cannot or will not speak for whatever reason.  It’s part of who I am.  Doesn’t always make me popular, but hell I’m used to that status.  I choose to allow my voice ring out to rail against injustices done, prejudices levied against those who through no fault of their own are different that those who  voice their ignorance.   That doesn’t make me any sort of hero, martyr or sadist(cause yeah some of those vocalized discussions can get a might ugly at times).  What it does mean is that I am trying my damnedest to do what makes me a better human being.  By  becoming all that my guides demand of me, and in the process helping those I care about find some answers of their own. So will I keep on speaking up.  Yeah.  I will.  Because I can.

Responsibility and our part in it

So I’ve been watching a few conversations lately and its gotten me to thinking about responsibility and what part our actions take in it.

So the first convo was from the stalker feed today.(it really is a later convo than the other, but shorter so it gets to go first).  In it a woman who has divorced, is wiccan and does not follow the whole of the rede has made her own version up.  Basically its all the love and light crap, following the rule of three..which as we all know is bullshit…She believes that the goddess returns any harm and she does not nor will not retaliate for any wrong committed against her.  FFS woman!  what kind of door mat are you anyways? NOWHERE in the rede does it suggest that you allow others to wipe their feet upon your back and push your face down into the mud.  It does say that you return as you have been given.  So one might ask, why should we care that she likes being pushed around by the universe and others here in the mundane?  The other person involved was abusive, and odds are that it will continue..with someone else.  So if one had the opportunity to drag this person kicking and screaming to a “come-to-jesus” meeting where their attitude was “adjusted”, why would you not take it?  Patting yourself on the back because you successfully got away and they can do no more harm to you is all well and good, but what about your responsibility to the world at large?  It’s like loosing a demon…may not come back to kick your ass, but it will feast on those not in the know of your deed, and that have no protection or warning.  So I am of the mind set that we are responsible for what we loose into the world, whether its in the mundane or elsewhere.  Its our responsibility, and if you want to live in a cotton candy cloud of ignorance, keep deluding yourself, just dont expect those of us who get our hands dirty to give you a hand when shit comes back to kick your ass.

So now on to the next convo which actually took place last night.  It involves the event of people scarving up to support others who cover their heads, either for religious preferences, or when working.  It came about as a white woman was harassed for wearing one.  she uses the scarf as a sign of respect for the deity she observes.  I have no problem with this since a great many faiths also do the same.  What I had the issue with was that  POC (people of color) were not actively included.  It was just assumed that those who walk a pagan path in the community would step up and be included without a personal invitation.  WRONG.  Many felt slighted because nobody actually invited them or any groups that they might be affiliated with.  Why is that?  Oversight perhaps or maybe its because in truth, people are people with their own bias, and sometimes it still falls within the racial scope of things.  Lines drawn, walls built as if they can only be included in historically faiths that came from slave days brought to this country. So when it was brought to the attention of those pulling the event together, the ignorance of speech came out.  some could not see the “big deal” because those working on the event were doing so without remuneration, had families, jobs, lives outside of the event.  Well…..isn’t that special? Life has a way of intruding when he have plans ya know? The one phrase that had my jaw hitting the floor? I was told that I could invite my “colored” friend.  WTF?!?!?!? I live in the south.  I know only too well the ramifications of that word which has not long been gone from signs separating  lunch counters, water fountains and bathrooms here.  NOBODY I know would even use that term because it actually is akin to the other word that does not bear repeating, as if they are second class citizens.  So…poor choice of verbiage to be sure, but truthfully I have found that many  POC in the pagan world are really a minority within a minority and are often overlooked.  I’ve not met a great many within the confines of community, but those I have , I’ve  found to be more than knowledgeable about their paths and not afraid to help when asked.  So where does the responsibility come in?  It is our job to assess our walk.  Too often Ive heard from those on pagan paths about the persecution they feel because of certain faiths, and yet they pass that same ignorance and hostility on others based upon race, ethnicity or sexuality.  We need to be checking ourselves people.  We cannot in good conscience say that we are “open” if we still allow these things to come in and impede what we are trying to accomplish.  There is only ONE race..HUMAN, and its high time that we check to make sure we are abiding to that idiom.I know we’re human beings, coming from different perspectives, but that is the beauty of it.  We all come to the same table and have different things to offer. One cannot have a sumptuous smorgasbord if you are going to limit what is placed upon the table.  It’s our responsibility to make it right.  If you see things going on that is wrong, speak up.  It’s our silence that allows it to continue. You have a responsibility to be an active member of the human race…be a damn good  example of what truly should be.

 

vous êtes responsable

Behind the mask, or as I like to call it..admitting a few truths

So I post a lot on other social networks, and often times its just silly sarcastic stuff.  But every once in awhile, something comes that can start thought provoking conversations.  Such was the occasion today.  The post was of a mirror and the question asked was : Imagine if a mirror has the ability to show you as you really are..would you dare look? Most of us would want to look, but how often are we willing to see the real us beneath our masks? We always show a side of ourselves to others, to the world at large, even to those who think they know us well.  But when presented with having to acknowledge a part of us that might not be so pretty or that could be acknowledged as destructive or unproductive, would we be strong enough to look and conceded that there might be some things that need tweaking.

We all wear masks.  Its our safety net, if you will,to protect us from those who presume that they know us better than we do ourselves.  Sometimes we even wear them when we are doing our “soul searching”.  It’s hard to admit to even ourselves that there are things that  we are not perfect.  That what we do or say has consequences and repercussions in our daily lives.  For instance, “why can’t I find a guy who loves me for myself”..Perhaps its the company you keep…you know the ones who stay in the bars, dont pay their child support or hold a steady job.  If they didnt do that with the mother of their child, what makes you think they will do so with you? Why not aim for a higher class of guy. . .say perhaps, one with a job, a vehicle and likes hanging out watching movies with you because he likes the way you laugh at his corny jokes.  Damn…must be boring huh?   I often get frustrated with people who refuse to admit their value and settle for less. What made you think when you got married, you would be the one to provide the total support of the home, the care of the children, the slave to his every whim? that isn’t marriage..it’s a form of emotional abuse. and nobody deserves that.  I see people who refuse to speak up and put an end to that.  It makes me angry because I see their value.  But its not my choice.  I cannot make them change. Even if what I see would change their life for the better, or make them happier.  It is not my choice. I cannot stress that enough.  I have enough problems with the truths of my life which is no where near perfect.  It’s not that I don’t try to make it that way, but I am honest enough to admit that sometimes I suck at it.  But at least I get a new start every day so that’s always a plus.

We also wear masks and blinders in our paths as well.  I mean if we do so in the mundane, why not the spiritual ,right?  Sometimes people have the strangest idea of what we should be doing to keep us from being harmed, in their view, by the path we walk.  But I have to question their sincerity.  Is it really for our benefit that they choose to wield power to correct that or is it theirs?  Is it their power trip of playing savior that causes them to question the validity of what we do?  Sometimes we do  tend to get caught up in the shineys and other things that others before us decree we “must” have in order for the gods to hear us. When in truth, we just need to stand still and listen as they begin to tell us what they expect from us.  Wow..what a simple concept..listening.  Only we don’t always do we?  We hear what we want to especially when it is not what we want to hear.  We are alone in finding our own way on whatever path we choose to walk. We cannot and must not allow the arguments and persuasion of others sway us from what is truly our destiny.  they are not deity.  they do not have any power beyond the veil to change things for us.  That is between us and any entity we work with.  Any changes that occur are ours to make.  Nobody else’s, even if they wish it to be different. For others to speak and tell us that they could do so, or that we are wrong in our approach really pisses me off actually.  It’s not their life.  Not their path nor are they in charge of our destiny.  It is not their choice, nor do I need to allow them that privilege.

So its time to take a good look in that mirror.  A good hard honest look.  We don’t have to like what we see under that mask, but we do have to be honest at what is there. Is it time to let some things go?  Is it time to tweak some things here or there to make how we live a little more productive? Whatever we see, its time to be truthful to ourselves.  We deserve that. It is time we value what is truly us…that true woman or man that is worthy of respect, love and honesty from those in our lives, and most importantly from ourselves.

enlever le masque et de recevoir votre vérité