I don’t believe it so it’s gotta be fake

It’s funny what you see in other people’s conversations isn’t it?  I mean whatever we do or wherever we go, we invariably become privy to other people’s conversations as well as their points of views.  It’s the same way on social network sites.  I see conversations that aren’t mine taking place, but they get me to thinking which can’t always be a bad thing right?

So I see a conversation in which someone says they don’t believe in hexing,crossing,cursing(whatever you want to call it..my personal fav is kicking).  Wanted to know if a certain work such as writing someone’s name, birthdate on paper and placing it in the freezer would indeed hex someone.  It’s certainly one way to bind someone from certain paths perspective, but NOT the only one.  I would say yes it would work if that is your intent.  But the OP still goes on to say that because she shields and only allows positive affirmations in her life” then that could not work against her.  Excuse me while I laugh my ass off here.  The reason for the horse laugh?  Nobody I know who has ever had a working done against them has ever been able to protect themselves fully nor prevent it fully from happening. Even those who are well protected tend to get a little singed as they send it on its way.  One cannot play in fire without being exposed to the smoke you know.   It just tends to cause less trouble than those who do not protect themselves.  So what about those good love and lighters who don’t believe in hexing people?  Would they still be harmed.  Hell yes! I actually kind of like those people who claim to not believe in it..makes it much easier for me to kick their ass when I choose to do so.  So do I tell them I’m going to do it?  Sometimes, just for the chuckles I will.  Sometimes I want them to remember that I’ve told them that I am going to kick them.  Let that play around in their little world for a bit, until they can’t sleep because they wonder what I’m going to do, when it’s going to happen.  What am I doing while all this is going on?  Probably sleeping pretty damn well because the hardest part of the kicking is already taking place.  They are doing the work, waiting for the light of the train to appear from the tunnel to flatten their ass, watching…and just when they think it’s never going to happen…….SPLAT!!!! That train has rolled over their ass while I sit with my bowl of popcorn to watch the after effects.  Is this my usual modus operandi?  Nope.  Sometimes I am that still small breeze that stirs the air lulling you into false security because nothing has happened…yet.  Sometimes you might just have the wheels falling off your shit all over.  No warning..just how it is sometimes.  But wait..I don’t believe in that , you say? Doesn’t matter what YOU believe.  It’s what I believe that makes all this work.  You do not have to believe that I can do a damn thing to you(but for me it’s a lot more humorous if you do~just saying~), but I DO believe in kicking people when they deserve it.  So what would warrant my kicking? It takes a bit.  I’m usually willing to let you harm yourself really, but sometimes an assist isn’t out of the question. Fuck with those I care about and it is full game on!   Sometimes half the reward in this for myself is deciding just how or when I plan on deploying said juju.  I might get creative or I might stick with the tried and true.

The truth is, I care less if you believe or not.  I don’t know how people walk around so unbalanced in their paths.  If you cant(or wont) curse, then how do you justify sending or expending healing energies? THAT is the flip side to that coin.  It doesn’t matter if someone else believes in what you do..only that YOU do.  So for those who walk around with their fingers in their ears while their head is up their collective asses, here is just a tiniest little clue…Yes throwing a curse, tossing a hex, kicking of ass does indeed exist. Those of us who do it care less if you believe…but are kind of curious how you define what the fuck is happening to you when things are going awry. Are you sure it’s just a lil bad run of luck?  Or maybe something you did?  What if…oh, what IF…someone has decided you need to be taught a lesson? Just a thought.  😉

 

tempête parfaite

The messiness of magic

So, I’ve been thinking.    yeah..those who know me well are undecided at the moment  whether or not they should sit and watch with a bowl of popcorn or hide from what is surely about to hit the fan.  But anyway, I was watching a conversation about the use of personal things in ritual work, such as urine, menstrual blood etc.  Some were repulsed, others not so much.  So being my opionated self, I decided to delve into this.

So let’s go into a little background about using menses in ritual work.  Many traditions from Taoists to the Egyptians involved the ingestion of menstrual blood mixed with red wine to increase spiritual power.  The Ancient Greeks included the mixing of menses with corn and spreading it upon the ground to increase fertility.    The Ogala Sioux traditionally had purification ceremonies for a girl to be consecrated as a Holy woman to be revered by the whole tribe. Some aboriginal people use this as a basis of women’s magic which makes it damn important.   At one time a woman’s “moontime” was considered to be when she was at the height of her power. It coincided with lunar cycles, tides and was considered to be a cosmic event. About  5000 years ago, it was later distorted into a time of “uncleanness” and women were forced to be apart , unable to participate in the preparation of food for men, or participate in ceremonies. It moved away from a spiritual connectedness with the earth and universe and the pendulum swung over to a patriarchal type of religion in which women were considered secondary citizen in many ways.  It began to be considered a time of “curse” because after all in biblical times, Eve was given this as a sign of disobedience to god..she would bleed, her life giving force to be excreted instead of being used to nourish a child within her., once a month unless she became with child.

With all we know of backgrounds , and the fact that many paths work differently, I find it interesting that some would absolutely sneer at the use of personal issue.  I know of some paths who take the “curse” part and use it accordingly.  It works damn well.  Some use it for love spells..now that is one that one should be damned sure you want the other person since this one is powerful enough to connect you to them.  Also it can be used for protection such as urine in a witch bottle.   The part many have to get past I guess is the way they feel about it in their own life.  If they find it inconvenient, or something worse than death(have heard that mentioned before), then they will of course find it unappealing to use in ritual work.  Some feel squeamish at the collection part of it, but in truth, one should be familiar with your body and with its functions so why should you go all childish at the thought of taking something natural and using it? Many consider it waste, since it is flushed from the body as it were , but I find that even though it’s not being used as was its original intent , it still holds the nutrients that it would have used to nourish a child.  It’s not for everyone I know, much the same way that the use of animal sacrifice or bones are not.  Some do not practice much more than the use of herbs, candles or incense (if at all) so to venture off their strict (and for me limiting) path fills them with a sense of revulsion.  But magic is messy, somewhat smelly and definitely limitless if one but chooses to embrace other areas.  What it really comes down to is how you want to infuse yourself into your working.  What you feel about yourself.  Much has been made about exclusion of self..whether it be bodily functions, parts of self such as nails, hair because of cultural beliefs, personal preferences, religious views and just general view of their own path they walk.  To my own thinking as I walk my path, that limits how I choose to work. It’s the same for me as someone saying they could never curse because they don’t harm others.  I call bullshit because I am sure they are not perfect people and somewhere at some time have been cruel to someone with their actions or speech.  Kind of blows that out of the water huh?  So when someone says they could never use bodily fluids in workings, I kind of want to ask them just WHAT do they use when they kick?  Why would you not use something so intensely personal to hex someone or protect yourself? I myself have no problem with it but I can understand that it is not for everyone.  Some just can’t get past that societal squeamishness that infuses their belief system.  But even if you choose to not include it, at least give the same respect you would wish for others to offer you at your offerings.  To equate them as something such as mucous snot(which is a by product of cold or allergies btw, not a bodily function that occurs as a natural cycle) is more than a little insulting to those who choose to accept such functions as a normal process of their path.  I would expect better of my peers. I demand better of my friends because respect is a two way street. I think as adults we can concede that we will not agree on everything, nor should we. But we can accept that we all have our own beliefs, practices without speaking without thought and trod on others because of our revulsion, beliefs, or prejudices. For me, that is my personal line in the sand.  I may not understand how you work or believe, but I will respect your right to do so.  I just ask the same from others.

 

tempête parfaite

The Augury

I am Elsewhere.  I recognize this because this is unfamiliar to me.  Usually when I travel it’s to places that I know pretty well, but this garden, I have never seen before.  It is elegant and lush but has a wildness to it that in the mundane I would probably enjoy, but since this isn’t a place I know, I am on guard.  I get the feeling of not being alone and look over my shoulder and see Dav.  WTF? Why am I here with him and not his brother?  Corwvyn had another mission he tells me and will meet us on the other side.  Wait. WTH are we doing here and why, I demand to know.  Dav smiles…I need your help, and asked others who said you could do this.  It never occurred for you to ask me?   He shook his head..I needed their permission anyways.  Well FUCK! We walk through the garden for a bit, speaking little because I rarely speak when I’m pissed and I was more than a little ticked off that my services would be offered without someone letting me know beforehand.  The thought of visitor in the glen comes to me, but I push that away..because why should he care what this elf does? Suddenly Dav turns and speaks..Look, it does me no good for you to be mad at me and not speak.  I guess I should have gotten a message to you explaining, but there really wasn’t time in my schedule to do so.  I glare at him and quietly tell him that I have no need to speak to do as he asks of me, so can we just move on with whatever the fuck this is.  He shakes his head and begins walking again.  Soon he stops me with a raise of his hand and we peer through a vine that is more like  a screen concealing what appears to be civilization ahead of us.  It is a stone courtyard and in the middle are 3 poles.  There are people milling around, dressed in their finery as if they are attending a party of sorts or some matinee.  Just past the poles sits a castle commons complete with a balcony overlooking the whole area.  I look at Dav who is staring intently with his jaw clenched.  A crowd of people soon appear on that balcony.  Someone who looks like a priest in their resplendent red robe, some sort of cabinetry people and then she appears.  The queen herself in red dress that to me looks her makes her look like she was dressing for the prom and failed..miserably, but I’m guessing I am not here to critique her attire.  As she appears, the people who had been milling around begin to clap and call her name…Aaryana.  I look towards Dav again but see I will get no help from him for explanations because he looks like a keg of dynamite about to explode.    I sigh and turn back to watch the scene play out in front of me.  A gesture is made for the people to quiet and at once they do so.  Well trained I think sarcastically. Aaryana begins to speak.  As you all know, she begins, we have had trouble with some that refuse to accept that our way is best for the people.  They have caused us nothing but trouble and I have decided that I will get their attention quickly. I will prove to them that to not fall into line will only bring them pain.  She gestures…bring forth the prisoners.  I watch as I see a woman with two small children led forth with shackles around their necks connected by chain and their hands behind their backs.    I am incredulous.  How could someone do that to children I want to know.  The heat from Dav is growing and I know that if he continues, it will blow, so I touch his arm.  Be easy.  It will do them no good for you to be so angry that you cannot think through your plan and bring it to fruition. He nods, and continues to watch.  We watch as we lead the prisoners to the center of the square and stop them in front of the poles. The woman speaks to the children gently trying to ease their fear at being treated in such a horrible manner. The guards remove the shackles one by one and tie each one to a pole facing the queen.  She is smiling , leering really as if she cannot wait to taste their blood.  This is all for show I realize, because she would have preferred to killed them instantly and dine on their entrails, but I realize she is after a bigger prize and he stands beside me.  Your family I ask him?  Yes, he says quietly.  My wife, Dressia, my son Kal and my daughter Davla. How old are the children I ask. Three summers he tells me.  I sigh heavily.  I understand why I am here now.  Not because Dav could not handle this with others, but because of the children.  So, what is the plan I ask?  We wait for now he says.  So again I turn my attention back to the scene at hand where once again the mad queen speaks.  This is the enemy she tells those of her court.  Seeds of those who would thwart our cause.  One who gives life to those seeds.  Jebus I think to myself, she is fucking crazy with her desire to kill children. The queen continues.  We have placed them here as a reminder to those who continue to fight against us that we can and will hold their hearts in our hands and devour it without mercy.  I see movement, just a glimmer .  Maybe I was mistaken because it is no longer there.  I shake my head, but then closer to the poles still, I see a familiar face.  Corwvyn! So he is on the inside.  I realize that he is not alone because I see other elves placed here and there among those milling in the courtyard accepting as gospel everything the mad woman says.  Why did I not notice them before?  They lifted the veil says Dav.  I look at him and he grins.  Corwvyn is right…you think loudly when trying to find order.  I laugh softly..yes I do.  I also tend to forget that I don’t have to speak to convey thought here.  So we watch.  I see Corwvyn and a couple of the others move closer to the poles and he places a finger to his lips so that the prisoners do not give them away.  As soon as they are close enough, Dav touches my arm..Come this way.  We move as quietly as we can toward the courtyard cloaked in a type of silver fog that seems to roll in from nowhere.  I see the queen frown at the apparent marring of her perfect tableau and hear her ask someone beside her what is happening.  They don’t seem to know either. We manage to slip in beside the others and I see a knife shine as it removes the bindings.  Carry her I am told as the girl is placed in my arms.  She feels so light, like a feather really and I can see that her features are perfect with her piercing grey eyes and silver hair. Are you hurt I ask her and she shakes her head no. I see that others also have a captive and then we move not back from where we had come from but forward toward the castle entrance.  Why are we moving inside I wonder.  We have to enter the ground floor to go back through the main gate someone tells me.  I wonder again why nobody has chased us yet and again receive an answer that the fog itself has a confusion agent and while others can see what is taking place, they do not comprehend why it is doing so or have a need to stop it.  Damn good stuff I think, I could use some of that. I hear a chuckle from Corwvyn.  You have plenty of other things at your disposal he tells me.  So off we move into the castle.  And stopped.  The Queen who was above the fog could see it, but because she was not in it, still has an ability to think. NO!!!! she screeches.  I swear she could have cracked windshields with that yell.  I see her advisers behind her as if they do not think for themselves, and probably do not. You cannot leave she yells at Dav who sneers at her and tells her that if she moves to stop him, he will remove her heart while she yet breathes.  Aaryana blanches to a paler shade of white which would be almost transparent if that was possible. It’s as if she knows that she just may have gone too far in the fight against her brother.  Wait.  Brother? I see the resemblance between them now and wonder just wth have I been pulled into now. We are allowed to leave and I hear her yell as we do so that this is not over.  Dav turns with his arm around his wife, and says,  Aaryana, hear this today..we are no longer family.  I curse the day you were born for here after.  I curse everything that is your life.  I will dance upon your funeral pyre and if I ever have the opportunity to do so, will be the one to bring that demise about.  He then turns and gathers us our group and we move to the door which opens at his command.   I hear the arrow before it comes into view.  Although it was not meant for me, the aim is untrue and before I let it hit the child I put my left hand up where it grazes it and falls silent upon the cold stone floor.  Corwvyn is beside me at once.  You all right he asks? I look at my hand and see only a small red mark so reassure him that I am. I look back at the queen who has a bow in her hand who is trying to load another arrow.  Definitely NOT part of her training I think.  Davla I tell the child..I know you can do this, but probably have not done so before but I need you to think with me, direct that thought toward the bow.  As we do, there is a silver stream of energy directed at the bow itself which disintegrates within Aaryana’s hands.  She looks confused then looks at me and the others.  A realization flits across her face and I see a myriad of emotions, anger, confusion, fear.  This is NOT finished, she repeats yet again. It is today says Corwvyn as he directs me and the child out the door.  We move quickly without looking back and soon I find us back in a small secluded camp.  I place my charge down who runs to her parents and they all cling to each other.  I sit talking quietly with Corwvyn and we are soon joined by his brother.  I cannot thank you enough Dav begins.  But I did nothing I tell him, but carry your daughter.  He smiles.  Ahh but you did.  I always knew that Davla was special from the day she arrived.  She has those powers that are born to a witch, but I had no idea how to show her that. You did today.  I only directed her thoughts I said.  She did as I asked and I didn’t doubt that she could do it.  Nor did I said Dav.  She will need some instruction of course, but I needed for her and others to see that she is not powerless.  Crazy I think to myself as Dav once again rejoins his family.  Corwvyn entertains me of family stories of growing up with their sister and of the family keep which is where we were. He then tells me of family history that tells of  one who holds power within that will become a leader to her people.  So Dav thinks his daughter is the one I ask? Her birth was at the right timing of conjunction of planets and moons he tells me, as well as the qualities she displayed early on and then the connection with you today reaffirms his beliefs.  I shrug.  That is a lot of responsibility thrust upon one so young I say.  She will be taught, but also allowed to grow he tells me.  She is loved as their child not only as a leader of her people.  Come, I will take you back to the bridge where Brin waits for you.   We say our farewell’s and make our way to the bridge where indeed Brin does await my return.  Thanks for the help Shae he says.  I’ll come see you soon and we can hang out.  He gives me a hug then walks back across the bridge.  I am tired I tell Brin, let’s go home.  I am soon lying in my bed, and think..wait.  I should be sound asleep, not feel like I am still awake and traveling.  My hand throbs and I look at it.  Holy shit!  It has turned black!  WTH was that arrow tipped with?  I get my phone and take a picture to send to a friend who might have an answer.  As soon as I hit send it seems as if I have a response.  Sit tight I am told, we are on our way.  Wait.  Who is we I wonder.  I feel so tired and wonder when my friend will arrive and soon I hear her voice in my ear.  I’m here.  Let me look .  I feel her lift my hand but do not open my eyes because it seems to take too much effort.  I hear someone else speak.  I don’t know the voice, but it seems familiar if that even makes sense, and it says that I have been poisoned and need to have it flushed from my system immediately.  As the voice keeps speaking, I seem to drift away from it melting into nothingness which concerns my friend, and yet the voice picks me up as if I am nothing but air and tells her and Brin to follow him.  I do not know where we went, nor what occurred as the vileness is removed from my body.  I do know that where I awoke was not a place that I am not familiar with except for being told of it. I open my eyes and look around.  My friend sits near with worry in her eyes, and Brin also hovers close.  Ya’ll know that I’m fine right I tell them.  You weren’t about a day ago says my friend, so excuse the hell out of us for sitting here a little bit worried and a whole lot pissed. I laugh because I know that her anger is her release over the worry and confusion.  I’m sorry I made you worry.  I certainly had no clue that anything was wrong, but I do know that a certain queen is about to be handed her ass before long.  Indeed says my friend, but that belongs to another day.  Thank you for the help .  I did nothing, but guide my “friend” to you and it was he who knew what was right to do.  Thank him too I say.  I will pass along your message although I’m sure he will say as I do that no thanks are necessary. Brin will take you home now so you can get some real rest, and I will catch up with you later.  I am carried along in Brin’s capable arms, and tucked in safe and warm where I fall into a deep dreamless sleep and awake this morning tired somewhat but reviewing certain details in my mind.  I know now that the work spoken of before has a definite detail now of instruction and guidance and that it may or may not come with dangers that I am now more aware of.  Tomorrow I will go back to the spiders and we will make up a plan of action.  In the mean time I am grateful for those in my life that while they do not always understand my path, are still willing to stand beside me and help when and where they can.

 

 

tempête parfaite

Keeping it real

I have been observing people lately.  That in of itself is not unusual, because it’s an old habit of mine and it’s served me well when I choose to read others.  What I have seen are those who portray themselves one way and then pervert themselves to fit another’s mold.

I see it every day with people who live as they choose, speak as they will and sit on a church pew every day the doors are open(and living here in the south that is pretty damn often).  But in reality, they treat people with such disdain and a lack of respect in both their actions and their words that it makes one to vow never to step foot into whatever denominational building they belong to.  They act, when they think  others are looking, all sweet and kind on the surface and yet let you walk away and you become fodder for that sharp tongue .  It’s crazy how they feel that what they do isn’t of any importance because as they say “god will forgive them”.  Good luck with that.  Because as I understand the book that I’ve read..you know the one that is given as instruction to your particular faith, supposed to be from holy men?…that one is supposed to treat others as yourself..hungry, then feed them, need shelter, provide a means to make that happen, in need of love..give that too..without expecting a damn thing in return.  Why?  Because we are ONE race..HUMAN.  They do not seem to be able to grasp the  ONE simple concept given by the one they  worship  as the standing tenet of their faith.  Love UNCONDITIONALLY.  Not decide that if they look, speak, dress, live, worship, love etc as they do, then and only then can they embrace them in love. Just hard for me to wrap my brain around the things they do in the name of god.

And I am finding that I have a real issue with those who walk other paths as well.  Like those who talk the talk, claim affiliation to one path, deriding those who don’t follow like them, and then for the sake of the almighty dollar, doing a 180 and sounding like many other pagan authors looking to shill their works.  That is not to say all authors are sell outs, they aren’t.  Some truly want to put forth accurate information while making a little extra pocket money.  But one has to wonder about the authenticity of those who speak out of both sides of their mouths when they give “information” to others.  Just what is their agenda?  To fill the coffers? Gain prestige? Notoriety?  Probably some of all of the above.  But  if one cannot be true to self then what is the point?  You might as well not have any spiritual path,  and write, speak, teach etc whatever you wish without any regard given to those who follow those words for guidance.  That to me is unethical on so many levels. It violates my own personal ethics as a pagan as well as a human being, because I was always taught “to whom much is given, much is required”.  So it is when we choose to speak up and offer guidance.  If your path that you followed is no longer relevant, I have no issue with that.  Many practitioner has changed and tweaked things as they grow.  But if you are still going to claim that path and speak in favor of something that you once overwhelmingly labelled bullshit, then one can understand those who look askance at your motivation.  There are also those who yell blue murder about their works that they themselves offered publicly without thought, and now want to cry foul over  others using it without credit or monetary remuneration.  Why the change?  Well imho, it all comes down to placing themselves in the middle of the relevant conversations of plagiarism and copyright that other authors(including this blog and others) have had to contend with. Their own pathetic views, while once filled with great belief of empowerment for women have long since lost its luster and refused to grow and change as time moved on.  So now they are simply irrelevant to many who are coming to the path in a more enlightened world, and are trying to grab whatever attention they can receive.    So I call bullshit and tell you to check that mirror because you are beyond faking it.

I even have to check myself from time to time.  Is how I live, practice, believe real?  True to being who I am and choose to be?  If I have  a problem answering in the affirmative, then I need to go through the checklist(yeah I have one), and see where I need to tweak or change.  Sometimes I have been known to toss out things, people, beliefs that no longer serve me or hinder me from positive growth.  It’s a necessary part of keeping it real for myself.

Life is all about change.  We need to be willing to stretch the boundaries, to stop placing limits upon ourselves, but most importantly, we need to be honest and real, not only for those who sit and observe us, but for ourselves.  If we cannot do that, then we are merely existing within this human shell with no spiritual connection anywhere.  and that would be a sad reality indeed.

 

tempête parfaite

 

Conversations from the glen

I am falling into nothingness and land softly in a familiar place.  I feel the fire’s heat warming my bones which seem to stay cold as I travel between.  I can smell the herbs on the fire filling me with their peace and overwhelming sense of home.  I feel Brin’s presence nearby. It makes me smile, then frown as I sit up and survey the private glen that gives us refuge when I just want some alone time.  Why am I here?  I know things have been little over the top at times, but haven’t felt the need to come here or go to the swamp as of yet.  Seeing my confusion Brin smooths back my hair, and hums softly.  She tells me that I will be having a visitor arrive soon and he requested a private place to meet that would not draw undo attention. A visitor?  Jebus! who would dare have the balls to invade what is a private sanctuary? Then I smell the unmistakable smell of cigar and spiced rum. WTF!?! Here? He would come here? Shit! What in the hell have I done now? “Nothing” he tells me with a laugh.  “Sit”, he said motioning back to the log where I had been perched.  It is only then that I realize I had stood up as he came through the entryway.  I sit back down.  “To what do I owe the honor”? I ask.  It is a time before I hear an answer.  My visitor lights his pipe, pours himself a drink which seems to have materialized from thin air.  I wait. And I wait.  It seems like an eternity passes and my patience is wearing thin.  I want to yell at him “Out with it!” Finally when it seems as if I can’t stand it any longer, he smiles and winks.  “Patience is a virtue I have heard”, he says chuckling.  I roll my eyes, and shake my head at his little joke.  “Since when have you known me to be patient about anything where you are concerned,” I retort.  Throwing his head back, he roars with laughter.  “Agreed”.  “But you are learning to stay quiet on the outside even if inside you are screaming for those to speak”.  Now it’s my turn to laugh and agree with his statement.  Again I wait.  Surely he didn’t come to just hang out with me.  “Why could I not ma petit”? he asks.  I shake my head smiling.  He laughs.  “I came to speak about your traveling plans”.  Traveling plans?  I don’t have those, although to be honest, I often don’t make a plan when I drift in the in between..I just show up.  “There are things happening that you are aware of on the peripheral, but now will be asked to join en force , so I came to make sure you understand what is being asked of you and the need to protect yourself even more”.  I understand the protection part.  I’ve been feeling the pull of the spiders.  Another layer of webs are indeed to be in the works.I nod slowly.  So…am I to travel soon I wonder.  “We are patient”, he says.  “You will begin work soon on the protections: he says as he looks over at Brin who nods.  Great I think..Another trip to the otherworld among snarky spiders.  My visitor laughs, “You should get along amazingly well with snarky spiders” he says.  I grin.  Well perhaps, but I think one in particular has me beat in that department.  So…he has come here to tell me protect myself and get ready to work.  Lawd…what DO I get myself into at times.  Again he laughs loudly.  “Cher, you are so easy to read, and your comments make me smile, but you know and have always known what is required.  “.  I sigh and cup my hands around the glass that seems to have just appeared.  “You know drinking with you gets me into a lot of shit”, I tell him laughing, but I bring the glass to my lips anyway.  To hell with playing it safe..well as safe as some would like me to walk.  So we sit and talk of things that was, things to come and those that might be.  I feel energized and awake as I realize that I really have been dragging my feet.  “Thanks for being patient”, I tell him with a rueful smile.  “Things happen as they are meant to and in their own timing.” he tells me.  He drains his glass and stands to leave.  “I will see you again soon” he tells me, reaches out to brush my face.  And then as quickly as he arrived, he is gone.  I sit quietly, drinking the rum, feeling its smooth spiciness warm me from the inside out.  I look at Brin.  “You knew he was coming”? I ask.  She nods.  Well of course she did,  I tell myself.  NOBODY gets near without her consent.  “You could have warned me”, I tell her gently.  She laughs.  “Ma petit, what would you have done..panicked? Non.  He comes as he does, so you can speak to him as an equal, not as a child who is afraid of  spooky tales or putting yourself out on the edge for others”.  Oh. Well, there is that.  He has already spoken about the equal part which boggles my mind.  It’s hard to wrap my head around really, but I’m learning.  So Brin and I sit staring into the fire, and I find myself becoming drowsy.  No wonder really since the alcohol combined with the energy of my visitor, I feel like I’ve been awake for days.  I find myself being held closely and hear the familiar song that reassures me that the world is as it should be.  I’ll check with the spiders later I think.  “Indeed” says Brin who pauses only momentarily in her soothing me into a restful sleep.  I drift off to sleep, thinking as I do that I have work to do….later.

 

tempête parfaite

Purpose? Just a matter of perspective

So my blog has been slacking since my forced vacation, and I find that I am behind on my rants etc.  So what is a witch to do?  Well get off her ass and write of course!

I’m on FB as is my usual and I am playing in the stalker feed which can be entertaining since I can follow friends postings in groups that I’m not in(and don’t want to join).  So as I’m reading, I see a posting from someone that asks people what their purpose in life is. There are many answers from being a good parent(honorable) to walking their path better(eh…~shrugs~), but the answer was apparently connected to “what are you passionate about”.  Umm..no.  IMHO, our passions change as we grow,age, experience life.  What we are passionate about at 5-not taking naps- we might learn to appreciate say about the age of 50.  What we love in our teens may not translate over into our adult years.  While we may still hold an appreciation for them, they are not our true purpose.  Did Mother Teresa always hold a purpose of helping the poor?  I don’t think so.  I think it grew as she did, seeing and experiencing life around her to the extent that she placed herself among them in order to further that true purpose.  What of Buddha?  Born of privilege, his path to enlightenment began as he surveyed life experiences around him.   His purpose ? Personal enlightenment.  His passions changed to a more self-centered personal one.  One can have passions about many things and while they are fulfilling, they may not be our true purpose in life.  Our goals change as we grow and experience life experiences.  Some may love art and seek to attain a greater experience with that.  So what is their purpose?  Is it to be commercial and make a living doing what they enjoy doing?  Is it to actually create something that is received favorably by others or is it simply to experience that feeling of nirvana that comes from the creative process? It could vary and still yet what if their purpose was simply to put that art out there that is to be experienced by someone else to gain an appreciation for the world at hand?

While it is true that it’s better to be passionate about what we do, sometimes what the universe has decreed to be our main purpose in life is totally different.  My guides give me definitive instructions.  They show me why I am here.  I don’t always listen much as a stubborn child, but I do know it’s not what I show to the world at large on a grand scale.  I am passionate about my family, their well being is of my concern on a daily basis and I make sure to keep in touch with them so that things run smoothly.  While they are a great part of my life, there is part of it that doesn’t concern them and has nothing to do with my main purpose.  It is centered around my spiritual self and that is personal.

I often wonder about those who claim to have  a lock on their “purpose”, because for me it’s a work in progress.  Simply posting “quotes in a bottle” here and yon for others to find a “nugget” that they feel applies to them in the moment does not mean you have found true purpose.  What it means is that you have found a way to connect to those seeking and while you personally have made a connection, the other person may not have found what it is they seek as purpose in their life.  I can’t tell people what their purpose is, but I think too often they have a tendency to limit their idea of what that is.  For me purpose has to fulfill EVERY aspect of one’s life, not just on one level, so if somewhere it’s not available in an area of your life, chances are, it’s just a passing passion and not true purpose.

 

Ignorant attempts at Justification

I’ve probably been more than my usual snarky self with my enforced “vacation” .  But I have valid reasons for them…really !

It took over a week to get my computer back from a local tech shop(yeah should have taken it to bigger place, but it was such a simple fix that….yeah ya’ll get the picture). A week to get the power jack reseated and a new charger since the jack is little bigger than previous.  Their reasoning is that they had to order one and of course it takes time you know.  Really?  I’ve NEVER ordered ANYTHING online so have no idea that it takes over a week to get something in.  Just some usual bullshit over taking their slow ass time, which seems to be the norm according to reviews I have seen(after the fact of course).

Then of course there have been the conversations both online..which I have been kept apprised of thanks to some friends…They revolved around the way others are perceived according to race, sexuality and religions…Wait…Remind me again what year this is?  We are STILL having to have conversations about this shit?I know that some people were raised in certain atmospheres of hate and intolerance, but seriously, don’t you think that as one ages they can evolve into something, oh let’s say…something close to resembling a HUMAN BEING? I realize that being raised all over the world gave me a broader view but my parents were products of the south and held on to some of those beliefs when it came to our personal scope of things.   Want a for instance?  Ok, they objected to my dating someone who wasn’t my skin tone…did that stop me? Let’s just say that what they didn’t know surely didn’t hurt them(I still smile Marcus when I think of you)…What did it do for me?  Proved the point that he wasn’t any different than any other guy I dated, just NSFP(not suitable for parents), or at least not MY parents.  I’ve seen first hand the hatred and bigoted rhetoric spewed from people who want to sit on church pews and then treat others with utter disrespect as if they do not count for anything more than to take up space.  The judging of others who see a mixed child and the whispers of “they’re mixed you know”.  Really?  So….does that mean they won’t grow up to be anything more than a welfare mother or some thug on the street?  Exactly what do you mean when you say that you cannot love a child who is mixed race? Do you mean that you could not show them love or compassion of any kind or that you feel they are less than you as a human being?  Personally, and this is my opinion, but YOU who are across that line I’ve drawn are the worthless beings, not worth the air that the universe has given you to breathe.  YOU are the ones with a problem because you cannot see past a color divide that divides us into races, ethnicity.  Truthfully, EVERY white person upon the earth is MIXED with some other race.  Some of us even may have a darker persuasion*gasp* if you but check your family tree.  My family came from Ireland, some parts from Romania, some even mingled within Native american tribe.  I know..lots of people claim to be Cherokee, but I’ve done the research as have others in the family.  My brother even went so far as to claim his tribal number.  Cherokees as a civilized tribe often had whites, blacks as slaves, captives, and children were often born as a result of someone taking advantage of the situation.  Fact of life.  So it bothers me that people tend to assume that just because they look white, that it makes them so.  What if they were to be reminded of a time in history that said if one had ONE drop of “black” blood, they had to claim that as a race? Damn..I think I just caused someone to faint.  All those closeted sheet wearing bigots are pissing their pants right about now running to check their genealogy charts.  Better look close because even white doesn’t mean white ass crickets.   So race is still a big issue even when one is walking down the street wearing something that others deem to be “thug-like”.  I’ve seen people hold their purses a little closer when passing them in the mall, pull their kids out of the way.  Now to be fair, sometimes things ARE what they seem to be, but most often not, It’s just a way of self expression, and sometimes it can lead to tragedy, such as the case in Florida, which is now beginning to wind it’s way through the court system which has been too long delayed(yeah I know..that is my opinion and I’ll voice it..thanks all the same).

Race is not the only issue in which we still have work to do.  Women’s rights have seemed to be pushed by ignorant ass crickets back into the dark ages where we were treated as chattel.  Unfortunately for them, women today have been raised by many to believe that they can be and do anything they so choose,  thanks to a great many brave women who spoke up when it was not easy to do so.  But now we keep hearing the rhetoric of when and what a woman can do with her body.  It is getting beyond ridiculous.  Do these morons think that women cannot make informed decisions without their interference?  Majority of this is nothing more than a pandering to the religious zealots who demand things go their way or you’re going to hell for stepping out of line.  I don’t let fear rule my life even in the name of some unseen god, so choose to treat others with respect.  We are long past the stage where we are to stay at home letting the man be solely in charge of household doings(marriage is a partnership and if you don’t see it that way better check that expiration date). Women are more than capable of making informed decisions about their lives without having our options removed from us by those with their own agendas.  It’s time to take a stand and demand it stop.  IMMEDIATELY.

I’ve had people tell me that my opinions make me little judgmental myself.  Why yes.  Yes I am.  But I actually prefer to think that it’s on the correct side of the fence in a utopia like atmosphere that believes that in some point in time we can stop fighting the same old battles and learn to stop repeating so much negative history.  Pollyannaish I guess, but I really wish it could happen in my lifetime.  It would make the world a much easier place for our little people to live in.  One where they can be who they want to be, love who they choose to love and not have to explain what or why they believe as they do.  So while I’m on this side of the fence choosing to treat your ignorance with the disdain it deserves, just stay out of my way and stfu because I have no patience for the willfully stupid.

 

tempête parfaite

Storm witch

The night was a dark one, with just a sliver of the moon shining behind gossamer wisps of clouds .  The spanish moss hanging from the huge ancient mangrove trees provide an air of secrecy, as she steps forward from the boat.  With bare feet , it’s as if she is connected instantly as she feels the earth beneath her.  Pulling her cloak closer, she gathered the things she had brought with her tonight.  Things have been off kilter as of late…some things needing a tweaking, other things to be let go.  It was time to call the storm.  She walked forward to a clearing that was used for ritual work.  Secluded, private, and unseen by those who have not the eyes to notice where it was located.  As she approached, it seemed as if the wild life that resided in the swamp knew why she had arrived, as they made their presence known.  Alligators splashed their tails upon the water, the cranes covered their nests with their wings as if they know what is coming, and are in agreement.  The croak of the bullfrogs seem to beat in rhythm to the energy that is beginning to stir…singing a chorus only known to them.  She walks into the clearing, greeting the keeper of the gate as she does, and moves toward a place where the fire has already been stacked in preparation of her coming.  All is in readiness.  She stepped closer and snapped her fingers, bringing life to the fire, which illuminated the sheltered copse as a protected circle.  Drawing a bundle of herbs from her cloak, she tossed them into the cauldron that sat beside the fire, and she moved it to catch the heat of the flame, letting the perfume from the herbs waft around her.  She breathes in deeply, letting the warmth and perfume envelop her, filling her with peaceful energy.  She smiles to herself because she knows this is but the eye.  She turns then to the small bag she has brought with her, setting up a small altar with candles, rum, incense and sits a small drum down beside a rock near the fire.  Standing before the altar, she welcomes those in who would work with her this night and then turns to the drum.  She begins to drum lightly, caressing the skin as a lover might, smiling as it begins to vibrate within her spirit, as she continues to play watching as the fireflies dance to the rhythm overhead.  As she drums, she begins to sing..words of old, known to but a few, calling the storm to come and clear the air, to toss out that which no longer works, and causes pain.  To reap chaos on those who willingly put themselves in the way of the storm that has been building, calling it to themselves as if they were a magnet.  The storm clouds begin to gather and the wind blows from the east, bringing with it change,  raging, howling, moving, swirling with its anger.  The rain begins to rage as rapids, like the waterfalls over mountains in all its fury, and yet she sings on… calling out to the elements that bring forth life and fill her soul with renewal.  The rain, wind and drum dance together, filling the night with their energy.  In and out, over and under, all around it flows until there is no beginning or end to any of them.  And still she sings until at last all of her energy is spent, and the drum falls silent.  She sits now, spent and exhausted as the last of the storm begins to dies down and all that is left is a cleanliness to the air, and a light cleansing rain falling.  She smiles and places the drum back into her bag, giving it one last small pat in thanks, and gathers the pieces of the altar.  She sits and contemplates before the fire, then thanks those who lent their assistance and drinks one small libation with the gatekeeper.  She makes her way back to the entrance, not looking back because she knows that the fire will be extinguished and things made aright as they always are. As she seats herself in the small boat to makes her way home,  she knows that whatever the storm has wrought, will be  necessary and things will be righted in balance once more.

 

tempête parfaite

The prayer chain

Ya’ll know that I don’t mind people praying.  If that is their thing, then by all means do that.  Spells are after all prayer in action really.  it all comes down to the intent.  But here is where I’m having a problem lately.  In voodoo/hoodoo groups, and even in some of the pagan groups, I see postings of prayer chains.  People asking for prayer for simple things like sore throat, get a new job etc.  Now that is all well and good, but since when did we step off into the christian realm?  As a pagan, I do not expect the gods to answer every whim or need, desire that I have.  If I am ill, then I see a physician, or use some herbal supplement to help out. I need a job?  I get my ass out on the pavement, putting in applications, revamping that resume and working actively to gain employment.  I do not believe in a  god the same as  those who walk a christian path..it’s in different manner that  I place my beliefs, and different ones that I choose to work with.  So why would I even offer prayers for those I do not know for mundane things?  Now don’t get me wrong..I offer energy when its needed for those who can use the assist, that is NOT the same as praying.  Praying would mean I say the words you wish to hear, expending energy that I have, for something that can be handled with physical action here in the real world.  I choose when and where to offer myself, and it’s not done lightly, but I see people all the time offer to do that for others and it makes me curious really as to why that is.  Is it some kind of holdover from the christian construct they have grown up with?  Is it that they want to claim energy from others to add to theirs because they cannot put their own forth as necessary to accomplish the job?  I have no idea really.  I only know that I cannot in good conscience pray for someone since that would mean asking for something from the divine and that is not something I do lightly or for things that to me seem a bit on the silly or weak side.  I know that there are some who disagree with this, but I also know others who hold the same belief that they have no need of the words for their desires/needs here in the mundane.  Some would say…”oh but any positive energy is a good thing”.  Really.  I also disagree with that.  Pray/Prey..to some they are one and the same.  There are those who pray that someone would “come to Jesus”.  It  is praying amiss because in truth, you are violating their free will to believe as they choose, and that prayer will not be honored.  If one cannot come on their own, they walk another line.  Simple as that.  So to pray in that setting..the other person then becomes prey.  You are setting your yardstick and guidelines on others beliefs.  That is wrong on many levels.  So for those who want to walk with a foot in both paths, and send all that love and light to every corner of the earth..feel free.  For myself, I’ll stick to the shadows where it’s comfortable and do what I’ve always done and assist when and where it’s really needed, not just because someone cannot handle real life.  I am just not comfortable watching or participating in prayer chains because I left that path a long while back because it did not fill me spiritually and that is what my path is about.  I’m not a love and light kind of witch, and am not the one to ask I guess for simple things.  I don’t carry a lot of patience in my pocket lately it seems.

 

tempête parfaite

Just a little introspection

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

There are monsters all around, but none worse than the one that resides within us.  We can often times be our own worst enemy, especially when we fall victim to listening to others who want to shape and mold us.  The problem with this is that its more their vision of what we should be and become instead of the real image of ourselves.  If we allow them to push us to their view instead of standing our ground then we lose part of who we are.  Now that doesn’t mean that they are always totally wrong, because sometimes it is easier for others to see things we often do not since it under our nose so to speak, but it has to be our move and our choice.

Last night I was sitting around a fire and thinking things through.  I lost my temper with a friend because I felt that he was assuming things about me and my path that were incorrect.  He spoke to me as he speaks to others, teaching, but it lost something in the translation.   Maybe it’s because I rarely speak of how I work, what I actually believe, except in generalities.  Maybe it’s because I keep quiet about those I work with.  Perhaps its because I’ve had a lot going on lately and the comment just missed its mark, and I took it in the wrong way…~shrugs~.   The path I walk has been forged over time with changes in direction, false starts and utter chaos at times.  Through it all my guides have been beside me, protecting me, speaking with me and guiding the person I am today.  There are times when I want to walk away, shut the door and yell “enough”! But truthfully, that thought scares me more than staying the course.  Because without this spiritual connection, I’m not sure I could deal with all the mess of the mundane.  It keeps me grounded when the earth seems to fall out from under my feet, allows me to stand in the the strongest of storms yelling back into the wind for the universe to BRING IT because I am still standing.  It also allows me to find the silence within my soul and nurture that peace so that I am able to appreciate the beauty around me.  It’s not always easy, but then life is to be a challenge isn’t it?  If we always got everything we wanted, we might not end up where we are supposed to be, and then the disappointment and dissatisfaction would set in and everything would end up in chaos anyway.  So did I find any definite answers?  Not really, other than I know more about who I am and  what I will and will not allow in my life anymore.  I don’t have a need for everyone to understand or pat me on the back for knowing what I know…I’ve seen too many running like rats after cheese  wanting those accolades.  It’s nice to be appreciated, but I prefer that come from those who mean something to me rather than total strangers sucking up in the hopes that they can feed from the scraps at your table.
It will take a lot of work, daily to tweak this path, but that is what keeps the journey interesting.  and if by chance I don’t agree with your view of what that should be, then keep stepping.  Life is too short for me to try and please anyone other than myself.

 

tempête parfaite